Shadows and Lies

Chapter 16

Loki didn't move from his spot for a long time. The palace continued to fill up with people, and every time someone saw him they gave him dirty looks and glares. He didn't care so much about people looking at him like he was trash, but every time someone stood close enough to him so that he could hear them talking about how great odin was he felt his blood start to boil.
It was nearing mid afternoon when Loki started to feel pretty hungry. He hadn't eaten since dinner the night before, and he had finished his book, so it was a good time for him to get up and sneak some food.
"What did you think you're doing?" The guards said the moment he moved to stand up.
"I'm going to get something to eat. Put you weapons away" Loki said in annoyance. The guards looked between each other like they were deciding if he could leave or not.
"Oh come on. Thor didn't say I couldn't eat, he didn't even say I had to sit here, he just said I had to stay quiet and out of the way" Loki argued, standing up despite them trying to stop him, and his own pain.
"I won't cause any trouble" he promised, raising his hands defensively.
"Fine. But we'll be watching you closely" the guard warned. Loki rolled his eyes a bit but walked over to the food table where there was a vast selection of various kinds of food to eat. Loki grabbed a plate and started to fill it up, he was getting dirty looks from everyone who saw him, and several people "accidentally" bumped into him rather aggressively, which almost caused him to drop everything since his leg was still hurting. He also looked over his shoulder a few times and saw that the guards were just following him around, not more than ten feet away. He ignored it and just got his food and tried to only think about getting back to his window and starting another book.
Once he got everything he wanted to eat, he reached for a fork and a knife, but as soon as he touched the silverware he felt a bad but quick shock in his neck again. He dropped the knife immediately and turned around to the guards.
"What?!" He shouted. He realized a lot of people were brought to attention by his raised voice. "Ignore me, I'm just yelling at the guards" he told everyone, but no one ignored him, even as he walked away from the table to confront the guards.
"What's your problem? Why did you electrocute me?" He snapped.
"No knife" the guard said. Loki looked confused.
"Wh- no knife? What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, still in irritation. The fact that everyone was still staring at him wasn't helping settle his anger. He didn't enjoy the guards making a spectacle out of him.
"No weapons of any kind" the guard explained "no knife, no fork, nothing sharp that you might use to hurt someone" he said. Loki felt his blood pumping faster. It took conscious effort for him not to lunge at the guards and attack them in anger. He'd been pretty angry this whole evening, but now they were just pushing him for no reason at all, trying to make him explode.
"How..." he took a deep breath so that he could stay calm and not start shouting again. He kept telling himself it was just for a few days at most, he only had too keep this up for a little while to get the council off his back. He could control himself for that long. He hoped so at least.
"How am I supposed to eat then?" He asked in a clearly forced tone of calmness, but everyone could hear the edge in his voice; they all knew he was ready to blow up.
"I don't care, use your hands" the guard said back, clearly not caring about what happened to Loki or if he starved or not.
"It's steak" Loki said through gritted teeth. His fists were tight and he kept telling himself over and over to not lunge at the guards.
"Not my problem" the guard said a bit smugly. Loki could feel his face turning red. He brought us fists to his forehead and started to take long deep breaths, his hands were shaking from his anger, his jaw was tight from trying to stop himself from exploding. He stood there for a few seconds just trying to mentally talk himself down. He wanted to shout at the guards for not letting him eat, he wanted to shout at the people for not going on about their business, and he wanted to grab a knife and stab the guard who he was talking to. 'But then they'll win' he told himself. He just needed to remind himself that this was all just a game. A sick twisted game designed to humiliate and torment him, but a game nonetheless. And he planed on winning. He slowed his breathing again and lowered his hands.
"Fine. I'll eat when everyone's gone" he said with forced calmness in his voice again as he dropped his plate of food back on the table.
"Can I at least go to the library to get a new book?" He asked the guard. The guards looked at each other and silently consulted.
"I'll go and get a book for you. You can wait by the window" the guard said, which made Loki mad because it was just a way to keep any and all control out of Loki's hands, but it was better than nothing.
"Fine then" Loki was too angry and exhausted from all this to argue. Even though he still had a limp, He stomped off back to his window ledge and sat down again miserably. His leg still hurt, his ribs hurt again from being punched earlier, and his neck burned from thor and the guards going crazy with the shock switch.
People slowly started to go back to their own business. Loki was sitting in the window for a while just sulking and trying not to scream in anger and mental pain. He was also furious with himself for even coming. He knew these parties, they could go on for days, sometimes a full week. He wasn't going to be able to eat anything for a week.
"Hey, you okay?" Loki looked up to See sif.
"Go away" he said grumpily. He didn't want to talk to her, he was guessing Thor had sent her to try and get him in a better mood.
"Well that's rude. And I even brought you some food. With silverware and everything" she said, holding out a plate for him. He eyed the plate of food for a minute, it was pretty full and he was starving.
"I'll be electrocuted" he told her. She shook her head.
"I'm on the council, you have my permission to use utensils" she told him. He was quiet again and then decide he wanted to eat.
"Fine" he reached out to grab the plate but she pulled back. "Seriously? My day is bad enough I don't need you taunting and gloating-" sif cut him off.
"I'm not teasing or gloating. But it comes with conditions" she told him. He rolled his eyes.
"Okay fine, what are your conditions?" He asked in annoyance.
"You have to let me sit with you and you have to be nice" she told him. He figured that it could be worse, so he nodded.
"Fine. I'm hungry" he said, reaching for the plate again. Sif nudged his leg so he'd moved it off the ledge and make room for her to sit. He moved and gave her room and then she handed him his plate of food.
"I'm getting tired of you and Thor using food to bait me into being decent" he grumbled.
"Well it's the only thing that works with you" sif said back. Loki was silent after that, he was more interested in eating and relieving his starvation.
"How are you holding up?" She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He pulled back away from her touch.
"What?" He was surprised by the sudden kindness. She really seemed genuinely concerned about how he was doing through all of this and it was weird for him.
"I was just asking how you were doing. I know you don't want to be here and I can tell that it's taking every thing in you to not scream at everyone" she didn't want him to think she was trying to trick him, she was actually just trying to talk.
"Yeah it's torture" he said "I've spent the entire day hearing about how great odin was when he-" he could feel himself getting worked up and more angry than he already was so he stopped talking for a moment "this is the last place I want to be. I'm only here because for some reason I got sentimental and wanted to help Thor, and then he turned it around on me and accused me of trying to commit treason, so I regret every decision I've made today. so it's been a pretty terribly day. It doesn't help that the guards think it's hilarious to make things even worse for me. So I'm just trying to keep my head down and make it through the next few days while this stupid party is going on" he wasn't quite shouting, but his voice had raised in volume just enough to get the attention of a few people close by. He ignored them and aggressively stabbed at his food to continue eating.
"Well for what it's worth, you're doing very well" sif told him after a few moments of silence between them. Loki stopped eating for a second.
"What?" He didn't quite believe her praise.
"I'm serious. You've had a few outbursts, but you're being forced to celebrate someone you hate, and you were very provoked. Overall I think the council is impressed, I know I'm currently winning" she told him. He was able to follow right up until the last part.
"What do you mean you're currently winning? Winning what?" He asked.
"Our bet. We all placed bets about what you would be doing tonight" she told him. Which both made him really mad and really confused.
"You've been making money off of my misery?!" He shouted, once again getting everyone attention.
"Yeah basically" she told him with a slight shrug.
"Wh- well what were the bets?" He asked, still mad and confused but less loud now.
"Well about half the council was betting that you wouldn't even stay for more than ten minutes. They've clearly all lost. Some of the others are betting that you'll sit here for a while and then snap and cause a scene and get dragged out, they still have time to win theoretically. Then volstagg and I are betting that you'll sit here all day and do nothing else. So far it looks like volstag and I are winning" she explained to him. He still felt mad and a bit violated. He wasn't a horse to bet on, he wasn't performing, why did they all think it was okay to place bets on how much he'd fail.
"And what about Thor? What's his bet?" Loki asked, trying to slightly calm his outrage.
"He didn't make a bet. He didn't really want us making bets either, but he didn't force us to stop" she explained to him. Loki was angry but silent for a minute; they were all betting on his level of failure, sif and volstagg were the only ones who weren't betting that he'd totally fail, but he still didn't like the idea of them making money off of his ability to sit quietly for a day.
"So what happens if none of you win?" He asked her, an idea slowly cooking in his head.
"I don't really see how that could happen. But I guess if no one wins we'll pass the winnings to you" she said back, interested to see what loki would do with that. He sat quietly for a second. He hated himself, he really really hated himself and the plan he'd come up with.
"I'll be right back" he said through gritted teeth as he got up and stomped over toward the platform at the end of the room that was typically used for making speeches. Thor was just about to go up to say a few words about Odin but Loki grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"I have a few things I'd like to say about our dear old dad" he said bitterly as he walked past Thor and got up to the stage. Thor hurried after him, knowing this wasn't going to end well, and the guards followed to drag Loki off the stage.
"Loki What are you thinking?" Thor hissed as he pulled Loki back down.
"Just trust me. It'll be great" Loki said with a slight smirk that screamed mischief. Even though he didn't like what he was about to do, he liked the panic he'd instilled in Thor. Thor knew that whenever Loki said 'it'll be great' that really meant 'it'll be chaos, but fun'.
"Loki I know you're not happy today but you're about to shoot yourself in the foot" Thor told him, still tightly gripping his arm so he couldn't get up to the stage again.
"I came here to help you and you electrocuted me. I think you owe me a few minute of speaking time. If you let me make my speech, I'll forgive you for tasing me" Loki told him. Thor was quiet for a second.
"If you say something that agitates the crowd I'll take you down from there by force" Thor told him. Loki just nodded.
"Noted". Thor let go of Loki's arm and loki stepped up to the platform.
"Excuse me, if I could have everyone's attention" everyone turned to him, and silence fell over the room. "I'd just like to say a few things about my father, and what kind of a man he really was".
Thor knew he was about to lose all the work he'd put into convincing the council that Loki was redeemable.