Shadows and Lies

Chapter 23

Chapter 23:
Loki woke up with a sharp painful gasp of air. he looked to be in pain but he was at least breathing again.
When Katarina got Loki back to the healing room after being shocked, she started checking on him she quickly found out that he'd stopped breathing at some point. They quickly started trying to get air back into Loki's lungs but he wouldn't start breathing again. They started to panic when every attempt to get him breathing again failed and his heart rate started to drop rapidly.
Finally Loki took in a breath, his heart got beating faster again, and even though he was now in a bit of a state of panic everyone else in the room was relieved to see that he was alive at least.
"Breathe, clam down"  loki was struggling to breathe, his confusion wasn't letting him realize that he didn't need to be panicking, and to make everything worse he immediately grabbed his neck where he'd been electrocuted and screamed in pain when he grabbed the burned skin. One of the other healers had cleaned the area and put bandages over it, but it still wasn't a good idea to grab and scratch at it.
"Loki no" Thor ripped his arm away from his neck and tried to keep him from making things worse.
Loki looked to Thor, panic in his face. He couldn't remember everything that happened when he got shocked in the street, he was also struggling to breathe which didn't help to calm his already frazzled mind.
"Calm down, try to breathe" Thor told him. Thankfully he wasn't the only one around, and Katarina jumped in to actually help Loki get breathing right again.
"Put this over his nose" Katarina shoved an oxygen mask into Thor's hand and he immediately put it over Loki's nose and mouth. Loki took a few more short, wheezing  breaths before he was able to take in a normal breath.
"Loki I'm- I'm so sorry this happened to you" there was clear guilt in Thor's face. He felt responsible, he'd given the guards the ability to turn on the device in Loki's neck, he just never thought they'd try to kill him with it.
Loki just laid his head back, finally being able to breathe again helped him calm down and lay back more relaxed.
"Is he okay?" Thor asked once Loki was breathing and calmed down.
"He'll be fine. It was a long electrocution, but thankfully it wasn't terribly strong, so his injuries are minor" she assured him. She could see the worry in his face, and her assurance didn't seem to help.
She wished she could ease Thor's guilt, it wasn't his fault, but she couldn't so she didn't waste time trying. Instead she continued to attend to Loki and start on removing the device in his neck.
It took Katarina a while to get the device out and get loki stitches up, but she eventually got the device out so he couldn't be electrocuted again, and she covered up the burns left from the shock.
Loki was still a bit weak but he was angry and wanted to leave to get some words out. Katarina had left for less than ten minutes and when she came back Loki was sitting up and disconnecting himself from all the monitors Katarina had set up.
"Hey- What do you think you're doing?" She tried to put them back on but he pushed her away.
"I'm leaving. I need to talk to Thor" he told her. Reaching for his clothes to get dressed.
"You can barely see straight, you still have the drugs in you, you are in no condition to be storming around like this" she said calmly, taking his clothes back from him so he couldn't get dressed.
"I don't need this. I'm done with all this" he was visibly upset but Katarina wasn't really sure why's
"Please stop and calm down" he was still trying to grab his clothes back so she moved them out of reach, he rolled his eyes.
"I don't need to be calm, I need to talk to thor" he told her, actually looking at her now instead of fighting for clothing.
"You need to talk to Thor? Why?" He didn't seem like he was delusional from the drugs, he just seemed determined to leave.
"Because I'm sick of this. I'm tired of being here, I'm tired of being a prisoner, and I'm tired of people being able to do whatever they want to me without any consequences".
"Well talking to Thor won't change any of that. You're a prisoner until you pay for your crimes, that was the deal" Katarina reminded him.
"Exactly. Once I pay my dues I can be done with this nonsense. I think I'm recovered enough" Katarina finally understood what he was trying to do and wanted to smack him in the head for it.
"Are you seriously suggesting that you tell Thor to move up the date of your penalty?" Loki shrugged and nodded like it was no big deal.
"Yeah. I want to get it done, there's no point in waiting anymore. So give me my clothes so I can go talk to him" he quickly reached for his clothes once again but she moved them out of reach.
"Stop doing that!" He was mad again.
"Loki you're being insane. You've just barely recovered from your first set of injuries, and it's only been a few hours since you were electrocuted. You're just going to get yourself killed".
"I don't care!" He snapped "i fully expect to die anyway, i keep saying that. I'm tired of being locked up here, so I'd rather just take the retribution now and be done. If I don't die I'll be free, and if I do die then it won't be my problem anymore. Either way it looks like a win for me" Katarina couldn't believe he was saying that death was a win. He really was in full acceptance of the fact that his life could be coming to and end.
"I don't want you to die, and neither does your brother. There are people who do, but at very least the two of us care about you. Just keep that in mind" she threw his clothes at him and walked out. If he wanted to be stupid that was up to him, she didn't need to control his bad choices.
Loki got dressed slower than he would've liked since he was in worse shape than he'd admit, but he was able to get dressed and stand up.
His leg hurt when he stood but it was bearable and he could walk, just with a bit of a limp. As soon as he opened the doors to the healing room he was met with a group of guards. He immediately put his hands up so they wouldn't think he was trying to escape.
"I just wanted to talk to Thor. Where is he?" He still had a demanding tone even though he really wasn't in any position to be making demands.
"He's in his chambers" one of the guards told him.
"Then that's where I'm going. Follow me if you want" he tried to shove past them but they obviously didn't let him make that call and stopped him.
"We can take you to him, but don't try to get ahead. You stick with us" the guards told him sternly. Loki rolled his eyes and nodded in annoyance.
"Okay, Whatever, just take me to see Thor" he said irritably. The guards looked annoyed that they couldn't decline his request, but there was no reason to keep him away from Thor so they begrudgingly walked him to Thor's room.
Once he got there Loki pounded on the door.
"Thor open up" Thor came to the door and opened it, looking confused and half asleep. Loki didn't realize that it was pretty much the middle of the night.
"What are you..." thor started but trailed off "you shouldn't even be up what are you doing?" He seemed to gather his thoughts and reached out to support Loki, though he didn't know how to help so he didn't end up actually doing anything, he just stood there, arm extended like he was ready to catch loki if he suddenly collapsed.
"I'm fine, I just need to talk to you" Loki seemed annoyed and Thor was still worried that Loki shouldn't even be on his feet and was causing himself more damage.
"Did Katarina let you leave or did you sneak out?" Thor asked, helping Loki inside and setting him down in a chair before closing the door.
"Technically she let me out, but I had to fight her a bit on it" Loki's admitted, shifting in his seat a bit so he could sit comfortably.
"What was so important that you dragged yourself down here?" Thor asked.
"I'm fine. And I'm here because I want to be done, so I want you to have my sentence moved to tomorrow" Loki explained quickly.
"Wha- you want to be done with what?" Loki got suddenly annoyed.
"This!" He snapped, clinking together the cuffs around his wrists that stopped him from using magic. "I'm tired. I'm tired of being stuck like this, I'm tired of the guards being able to hurt me without paying for it, I'm tired of sitting and waiting for more punishment. most criminals don't have to wait this long to be punished, and the waiting is killing me" Thor tired to calm him down a bit.
"Okay, Loki I understand your frustration-" loki cut him off
"No, Thor, you don't. Because you've never actually been a prisoner here have you?" Thor was quiet. This was in fact the second time Loki was being held captive in what used to be his own home, and Thor had no idea what that felt like.
"Okay... you're right, I don't know what you're feeling. But I do know what kind of condition you're in, and I know it's stupid to put yourself out for people to beat up on you right now" he was hoping that loki would at least listen to logical reason.
"Is it ever going to be a good time?" Loki challenged "the whole point is that I end up a mess, probably dead. I'd rather just get it done" Thor sighed deeply, but Loki spoke again before Thor could respond.
"Thor.... please" he was starting to look more desperate than angry "I'm as well as I'm going to get for a long time, please let this happen and be over as son as possible" Thor was quiet, Loki never said please, especially since he came home, so he knew he was serious and not just talking out of anger. Thor knew he was serious but he didn't want to send Loki out to be punished right now knowing he was already in bad shape. He already hated the setup of this punishment, he didn't like that loki was just going to be chained to an post out in the City for three days, he didn't like that he'd have to leave loki out at the mercy of the people who hated him, and he didn't like that he wouldn't be allowed to be there to make sure it didn't go too far. But it would have to happen eventually, and Loki was right, the goal of the people was to make a mess out of him, so making Loki wait and anticipate was really just added torment.
"Alright... We'll have it done tomorrow"