Shadows and Lies

Chapter 10

Thor slept for a few good hours, when he woke up he wasn't sure what time it was, but he felt pretty refreshed. He couldn't really tell what time it was because he'd had all the windows in Loki's room boarded up to prevent escape.
He got up and went to check on Loki. He was still asleep so Thor left to go check on the time and talk to the healers about what may have caused loki to fall sick like that.
The healer just told him that Loki probably ate something that wasn't cooked properly, and that once it's out of his system he should be fine.
Thor went to the kitchen and got something that loki could eat that wouldn't make him sick again, then went back to Loki's room. When he walked in he could hear loki coughing, so he went to the bathroom where Loki was laying on the floor. He didn't look any better than he did the night before, he also still looked wiped out and dead tired.
"Not feeling any better?" Thor asked him, he was hoping he'd be fine by now but he obviously wasn't.
"What makes you say that?" Loki asked, sitting up.
"You look terrible" Thor told him.
"Well... I think I look worse than I am, I feel a bit better than I did last night, I'm just tired, and I missed my meds last night so my leg is hurting quite a bit now" loki said back.
"Well I brought you some breakfast, and you should drink some water, the healer said you probably just-" Loki but him off.
"Thor I really don't care about anything that's coming out of your mouth right now" Loki snapped irritably. "Just give me something to stop the pain, I didn't take anything last night and my leg had been killing me all morning" Thor tried not to get annoyed.
"You have to eat some breakfast first" Thor told him. Loki shook his head, feeling sick just at the thought of eating.
"I'm not hungry" Loki said quickly.
"It's just some fruit, it won't make you sick" Thor assured him. He knew what Loki was feeling, he'd skipped meals due to illness before, and he would've left Loki alone except that loki needs to take his pill and he can't do that without having anything in his stomach.
"I'm still not hungry" Loki said again.
"Well you can't take any meds until you've eaten something, those pills are strong and you can't take them on an empty stomach" Thor told him. Loki tightened his jaw and looked both angry and defeated, but he grabbed an apple off the tray Thor brought and ate part of it.
"There, I ate something, is that enough?" He asked throwing the remains of the apple on he ground.
"Yeah that's enough" Thor said, giving Loki a pill and some water.
"Are you still feeling sick?" Thor asked him. Loki drank some more water and shook his head.
"I think I'm fine.... I got a few hours of sleep without waking up" loki told him, leaning back against the wall, feeling slightly dizzy.
"Good. I have some stuff to take care of this afternoon, is there anything I can get for you before that?" Thor asked. After how they'd acted the night before, he was going to try to minimize how much he asked the guards to attend to Loki.
"I could use some air" loki said back. He hadn't been outside in over a week, Thor had closed off all the windows in any room loki was kept in, so Loki hadn't seen the sun or breathed fresh air in over a week.
"I guess... that makes sense..." Thor thought about how he could get loki outside without letting him be seen. He had thus far managed to keep this whole situation a secret from the citizens of Asgard, only the people who worked in the palace knew that loki was here and Thor had given them all direct orders to keep their mouths shut about it, and Thor didn't want someone seeing him outside.
"I'll try to figure it out. I'll move the meeting up and then after that, if I can clear the grounds, I'll take you outside for a few minutes" Thor told him. Loki didn't seem very grateful, but that wasn't all that surprising.
"I don't need your full schedule, just tell me when I can get outside to breathe" Loki said back grumpily.
"Sure. One of the healers actually volunteered to give you some help, so she'll be here in a little while. Don't be mean to her please, she's willing to help you and that makes her unique, so be nice" Thor said to him, fully expecting loki to do the exact opposite.
"Yes mother, I'll be good" Loki said sarcastically even though he was clearly tired and in pain.
"Are you ever not sarcastic?" Thor asked.
"Well I wasn't sarcastic last night, so I have to be doubly sarcastic today to make up for it" he answered sarcastically.
"Well dial it back, I'm doing you more favors today, don't make me wish I put you in a cage" Thor said before leaving the bathroom to go finish the meeting he'd left the night before.
After a while loki heard his bedroom door open and assumed that it was the healer who'd volunteered to take care of him.
"Where are you?" The healer called. Loki rolled his eyes and sat up again.
"I'm in here" he said back weakly. She came in and knelt next to loki. She was tall with honey-brown skin, big dark eyes, and long, thick, black wavy hair that reached to almost her waist.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" She asked, feeling his forehead to see if he was running a temperature. Loki moved his head back.
"I'm fine. I'm uncomfortable, but I'm fine" Loki told her.
"I'll get you back to bed. How's your vision? Will you get dizzy if you stand up?" She asked him.
"I don't think I'd get dizzy, but I can't stand" he told her.
"That's okay, I'll help you" she said, putting her arms around him to help him up. He held his ribs and the healer held him up so he didn't have to have weight on his broken leg.
"Why are you helping me? Thor said you volunteered" Loki said when she got him to bed and had him sit down. She started taking off his shirt, having him take it off one arm at a time so he didn't hurt his shoulder.
"Because I don't think you're all bad" she told him, feeling his ribs to see how they were healing. He tensed and winced a bit.
"What does that mean? Why would you think that?" He asked, he was clearly trying to mask his pain.
"I don't know... I've seen you do good things. I've seen you suffer for being good, so I can't honestly say I think you're all bad" she told him. He thought it was strange that she would say that, she was only as old as he was, it's not like she'd seen him grow up or anything.
"When did you see me like that?" He asked her, he was curious about her, most people he talked to didn't really know him, but she seemed to know of a side to him that no one else had discovered.
"Years ago. It was before I was a healer, I was just a maid here. But I remember you were brought from a mission you'd gone on with your brother. I guess you two got captured, you were in horrible shape, clearly tortured, Thor was too, but not nearly as bad as you. They all said you weren't going to make it. You were just covered in blood and grime, and you were barely conscious so you kept trying to escape like you were still captive.
They said you were tortured like that for information.
After the healers fixed you up I came in to bring you something to eat, and you could only eat broth and other weak food, and I just.... I saw what a mess you were, and I looked at you and I thought 'he could've saved himself from all this pain if he'd just given Asgard up and given them what they wanted'. But you didn't do that, you didn't sell out your people, and I think most people would have given up in that situation. But not you. You didn't compromise. And I just keep thinking that anyone who was willing to suffer that much for his people deserves a second chance" she wrapped bandages around his ribs to keep the bones set, but her voice carried abundant admiration, too much admiration, Loki wasn't used to it.
Loki wanted to respond but his voice wasn't working. He'd never heard anyone give him that kind of... praise. Even in his best times people didn't talk about him like that, people rarely acknowledged the things he suffered. He vividly remembered the incident she was talking about, he remembered feeling like he was going to die, he remembered being awake and hearing all the healers talking about how he wasn't going to make it because they thought he was asleep and couldn't hear. He remembered being torn apart for information, he remembered his eyes being swollen shut and his jaw being broken. and then he remembered people crediting Thor for getting them out, and then brushing off his suffering.
"What's your name?" He asked her. She half smiled.
"Katarina" she told him. Standing up and pouring him a glass of ice water. "Here, stay hydrated" she told him as she handed him the water and then moved to check his shoulder.
"I didn't think anyone remembered that... I um... I appreciate you mentioning it" he told her, not really sure what to say, for the first time in a while he felt lost for words, he wasn't used to praise and he didn't know what to do with it.
"Well I remember, and I think it was awful for Odin to brand you a traitor after what you went through for Asgard" she told him, gently moving his arm to work his shoulder.
"Then I don't think you quite understand everything I've done" Loki told her, finding his bearings again. She was only nice to him because she didn't understand his crimes, that's what he was telling himself now.
"Maybe I don't. But Thor understands what you've done, and he still wants to help you too. so I'm pretty sure it's the people who understand you the most who want to give you another chance" she told him kindly, giving him a warm smile.
"I'll be back later to give you your next dose of meds. try to rest, drink a lot of water, and when I come back I'm going to have you eat something substantial as well" she told him, helping him on with a fresh shirt and then leaving the room.
Loki was still disoriented, he hadn't had someone other than Thor be compassionate to him in a long time, he didn't think he would care, but.... he liked it, he wasn't used to the feeling of people acknowledging him, but liked it. maybe it would be worth it to fix himself.