Hidden Potential

XVII : Better This Way

You didn't want to confront him that very night. There was too much going on in your mind, and he was in no state to think straight either. Instead, you gave yourself a week off to think about everything that happened, and to think about the possibilities of the future depending on what you chose to do.

Through the week, Hanta had been avoiding you. And he had every right to do so. It had been easier for you to cope when you didn't have to be around him all the time, but when you had accidentally come across him in the living area, or during breakfast, you couldn't help but look in his eyes and see it. You didn't want to. Oh, god how you wanted to be able to ignore it, but to know that the malice he had shown you a week ago was still there, just hiding behind everything else was frightening and off putting. You couldn't deal with it. Sure, you'd get better with time, but you couldn't live your life and look into those eyes knowing what hides behind them. Lest you wanted to be reminded of the sting ghosting over your cheek every time you remembered what he had done to you that night.

Now was the time you had dreaded oh so much. Now was the time where you'd tell him your decision, where you'd cut things off and come to agreements. You had been postponing it a few times now, actually. You wanted to go by it in a civil way, and your logical self knew that Hanta would respect that, but the lingering doubt in the back of your mind told you again and again that he'd hit you once more. That this time, a simple headbutt wouldn't stop him. And as much as you hated yourself for it, you believed it.

Because he had the potential, he just didn't have the boost.

"S-Sero, could I talk to you for a moment? Up in your room." You asked, automatically grabbing his attention. You noticed the fearful look in his eyes. He knew what this meant, he knew you made up your mind and for an instant, he wondered if he could turn things around by refusing to go.

"Y-yeah, sure." He averted his gaze to the wall as he got up from the couch, pocketing his phone and following you out. You hadn't even said a thing and he could already feel his urge to cry getting stronger and stronger. He didn't want to lose you this way. He didn't to lose you because of himself. He didn't want to seem like a monster in your eyes.

He hated the way you looked at him with fear. He couldn't bare it, but he still wanted to have your eyes in his life, even if it means there'll always be an undertone of terror in them. He loves you, damn it! And he can't let you go.

He hasn't even met your parents yet. You haven't gotten acquainted with his annoying siblings yet! He still had to bring you to his house so his parents could fawn over you. He needed to bring you out to that quiet village again. Hell, he dreamt of moving there with you one day. He had so much he needed to do with you!

"Listen, I think you already know why we're here..." You regretfully said as you closed the door behind you but stood by it. "Hanta, I want to brea-"

"Please, no." He begged, already falling to pieces. He had never been the emotional type, but that quirk damaged him beyond repair. "Anything but that, (Y/N)! Love, please."

It hurt to see him like this, but it was better this way. You knew it, and you knew Hanta knew it as well. "I already talked to Aizawa. I'll be tutoring Mina and Kaminari instead, okay? I spoke with Momo about what you'll need to work on, you're in good hands I promise." Seeing him crying like this broke your heart. You wanted to reach out and hug him so badly. You wanted to tell him you loved him and that you don't want to let go either. But you didn't. Because you knew that even if it hurt right now, it'd stop you from hurting in the long run.

"(Y/N), don't do this to me, please! I love you so much, you can't-"

"Hanta, I can't let this go on. I loved you, I really did, but I can't stand looking in your eyes and knowing that it's there, it's somewhere in there and it's still alive." You explained, barely able to hold back from crying.

Your boyfriend let out one pained sob that hit you right where it hurts most. Your heart. It felt like he was ripping it in half right there. "Hanta, stop crying, please." You begged, sniffling.

"I-I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry that I hurt you, I didn't mean to." He wailed, hiding his face in his palms and hunching over as he cried. He couldn't believe he was responsible for losing the main source of happiness in his life. There were so many things he won't be able to feel anymore because of his terrible actions. "I know it'll be better that way, but I don't want to..."

"I know, Hanta. I'm sorry..." You cooed, resisting the urge to wrap your arms around him and play with his hair like you used to. "We can be friends, and I'd love to, but I think we'll both need some time apart before."

You received no signs of denying nor acceptance. You took a deep breath before repeating what you had attempted to say earlier. "I want to break up, Hanta."

Seeing the boy whimper like he did really hurt you. "I'm not leaving or anything... At least you have that much..?"

"A-alright." You heard him mutter.

Sero doubts he'll ever feel this much pain in his life, but he could only be glad that you were willing to remain friends. At least he keeps you by his side.

At least he keeps your eyes in his life.