Maria and I

Dear Maria 14

More and more and more. Too little. Not too much. blend blend blend.

Dear Maria,  

     My fingers scraped my neck pressing the powder into my skin so that it covered that ugly purple black patch.

 

"More." I muttered under my breath, my gaze intently fixed into the mirror. My face looked paler than usual, and my lips chapped with irritating dryness.

 

Everyday I would put layers and layers of makeup just to cover that hateful reminder on my neck. I was intent on watching it disappear forever. but although it was barely seen, in my mind it stood out like a wolf among sheeps.

 

Tears ran down my round cheeks that once held pinkness in them.

 

I would never love after all. I thought it should be given a chance after all my 6 years since the other incidents.

 

I hate hate hate hate hate being here so much!

 

I felt disgusted! I felt dirty! I felt hate hate hate!

 

But at least with the makeup...i could pretend I was someone else. I could be pretty on the outside. I could just smile cause I want to show how pretty I can be. and that I'm not broken.

 

I was right all along.

 

Living should never have been given a chance.

 

I should have just studied, just kept to myself like how I was raised up all my life.

 

Locked up in my own room, in my own mind, in my own thoughts.

 

That's the last straw.

 

I've reached the limit.

 

I won't ever be the same even if I recovered.

 

I think she died again.

 

Kimberly died.

 

Now... kimmy?

 

I can't have alternate personalities any longer. It hurts too much of the other to hide one of them.

 

I'm glad they died.

 

Now... who shall I be?

 

Another day, another me, another us.

                                                    Yours only,

                                                        The Imprisoned Princess