the undying love

I'm so very tired

Dylan saw Sam and almost jumped out of the bed. There was so much energy in Dylan's frail body, just from seeing him. Sam locked the door and hopped up in the bed with him. Dylan looked at Sam and saw the sadness in his hazel eyes. Dylan knew Sam regretted the decision that separated them. Sam leaned closer, but Dylan hesitated and backed away. Sam looked lost by Dylan's hesitancy to come forward.
Dylan opened his mouth and started harassing Sam. "You left me, Sam! You left me for months while I was in a coma, I could have died and come close to death multiple times! You didn't even come to visit me once!" Sam shook his head no and grabbed his hand,
"I visited Dylan, I did every night, off the books, and always held your hand for 4 hours. Your fingers were so cold, a tint of blue towards the tip, your lips chapped from the lack of chapstick, your eyelids were so pale, I could count every single vein that was running through them. You were so sick Dylan, and I fought very hard trying to accept the fact you may not pull through."
Dylan sat still, he couldn't even begin to fathom the pain he felt in his heart. Still kept his distance, even though he was believing him, he didn't speak.
Sam sat there, still as well trying to earn back his trust.
Sam looked at Dylan pleading now, for him to believe him.
"Dylan please, don't do this to me."
Dylan didn't move still, he looked at Sam now, with his eyes swelling up with his locked-in emotions, he hasn't felt like this since before the accident. Sam knew the damage was done, he knew Dylan would never trust him again, not like he used to at least.

Sam got up and walked towards the door, leaving again. Dylan didn't speak, he was letting his past go.
For the sake of his health and the safety of himself, Dylan had to let him go.

The next week, Dylan was able to leave. Dean had come up and was helping him pack up what he had with him and stuff that's accumulated over the last 2 months.
Dylan sat down, taking a breath. He hasn't moved a lot and physical therapy was still taking. Dean turned around to see him laying down again, napping. Dean covered him up and did everything else.
Dylan's doctor came in and saw Dean packing up.
"Mr. Winchester, I need a word with you."
Dean walked outside and saw the doctor's face fall.
"Dylan's new tests show he's not gonna survive the rest of the year. The cancer is back already, it's in his blood. He has acute leukemia and Hodgkins Lymphoma."
Dean fell against the wall, feeling like his world was coming down. Dean got back up and looked her in the eyes.
"How long?"
She sighed and showed him the test results.
"Less than a month."
Dean lost it. Dylan was the biggest puzzle piece that kept him the whole picture together.
He needed to call the others, especially Sam.

Sam was the first one and saw Dean out in the hallway, crying.
Sam opened the door to see Dylan laying there, sick. His eyes were sunken in and his bones showing. Dylan raised his head and smiled.
"I knew you'd show."
Sam sobbed, he walked over and cuddled up next to Dylan, holding him closer than before.
"Hey," Dylan looked at Sam's tear-soaked face, "it's okay, it's gonna be over soon. I won't be hurting for much longer, and I lived a good life, Sam."
Sam couldn't breathe, his tears kept falling and his breathing was shaky. He couldn't catch his breath. His world was falling apart.
Ellen, Meg, and Rowena all came in and saw the emotional scene.
Meg stood back while Ellen pulled a seat up next to him. Ellen had grabbed his handheld, warming it up. Dylan weakly smiled at his mother figure and saw the sadness flooding her eyes, the pain was almost palpable.
Dylan got up, with the help of Ellen and his cane, and walked to the window.
He looked outside and saw the sun in the middle of the light rain drizzling. He turned around and saw teary eyes surrounding the room.
"Stop this," Dylan broke the silence with a strong voice, "this isn't gonna heal me. We're going to get me discharged, and head home."
Dean looked at him funny, he never called the bunker home, home was Ohio.
Dylan smiled softly, "we're going to Ohio, I'm gonna spend my last few weeks at home there."
Sam walked up by him and held him, "if that's what you want, then we'll do it."
Dean looked at Dylan's ghostly body in the bright sun, he was so sick and looked so different from the guy that entered their lives what feels just like yesterday.
And somehow, Dylan still was being tough. Despite knowing what's gonna happen, he still played tough. Dylan walked back over to the bed and laid down. He didn't have enough strength to keep standing upright. Ellen forced herself to the door and pulled Sam aside.
"You better not break that boy's heart Sam," Ellen was staring Sam down, "he won't have a shot at a happily ever after. This is the happy ending he gets, and he deserves all the joy in the world in the next few weeks. If you take this away from him Sam I will kill you myself."
Sam gulped from the threat but nodded in understanding her. He walked in on Dean finishing packing while Rowena and Meg were helping Dylan into the wheelchair.

When they got to the lobby Dylan smiled at the sight of the violet sunrise, he looked at Sam walking towards the impala, opening up the front so he could ride shotgun.
Dylan slowly walked to the door and got in and instantly felt like he had no energy again.
Dean got into the driver's seat and saw Dylan sitting there, staring at the sky again. Dean rubbed his hand over Dylan's cheek, which he felt were wet.
"What's the wrong Dyl?"
Dylan let out wretched sobs, trying to catch his already hitched breaths.
"I'm not ready to die Dean. I'm not ready to let this go."
Dean felt his throat tighten, he felt like he was drowning because he couldn't do anything but bold into him to make him realize he's not alone.

Dean drove off to the bunker, where Dylan felt a familiar fear, a gut feeling. Dean got out first, then running over and opening Dylan's door and carrying him out to the door. Dylan opened it up and walked down the stairs with a cane.
High emotions were coming over him, he felt paralyzed. There was a sense of internal destruction. He knew where he was heading too soon, and he was terrified.
Dean set up a bed in the living room, decorating it to his taste, despite Dylan's disapproval of all the flannel and western cowboy stuff.
Dylan smiled weakly at him when he got finished and sat on the floor next to him.
Dylan got up on the couch, he was exhausted from the day already. Dean got close to him on the couch and he was permitted to hold him.
Dean held onto Dylan like he was gonna be gone tonight, he didn't wanna face facts still, and he wasn't ready to let him die without the knowledge of how he actually felt about him.

Dylan woke up in a sweat, he sat up and grabbed his can to go to the kitchen. He was weak and didn't have much more muscle mass to hold onto anymore. He now relied on a cane and sometimes Dean carrying him around. Sam was now home and watched Dylan stroll in the kitchen.
"Good evening handsome."
Dylan smiled weakly, his bones noticeably prominent around his face from weight loss.
He sat down and waited on Dean to cook dinner. Sam kept staring at Dylan's frame. He looked so thin, he had lost almost 60 pounds from his illness.
Dean walked in with dinner, it was sandwiches. Something easy for him to eat, with good nutrition too.
During dinner, Dylan ate some of his sandwiches and went back to the couch.
He was feeling more tired than usual, so he laid down.
Sam and Dean followed shortly and saw nos breaths becoming more shallow, they ran to him and say him up.
"Call them." Dean was frantically trying to get everything ready, Dylan was passing.
Dylan grabbed Dean's hand and squeezed it.
"I'm not ready Dean, I love you."
Dean began to choke on his emotions, trying to calm himself.
"It's okay Dylan, I love you so much, more than you will ever know."
Dylan smiled and watched Sam walk over. Sam looked at Dylan's soft, pale skin. His bones prominent, and his veins so close to the skin.
Dylan's teeth started to chatter, "I'm cold you guys."
Sam pulled some blankets on him and got up there with him. Just holding him.
Dylan smiled at feeling the warmth around his body.
Meg, Rowena, and Ellen all came in within the next hour. Dylan was still next to Sam, absorbing the heat still.
Everyone has circled him, watching him. Ellen had his hand in hers, and Meg was rubbing her back. Rowena and Dean were sitting at each end of the couch caressing Dylan.
Dylan lazily had his eyes open, trying to monitor his surroundings.
Dylan squeezed Ellen's hand and turned around to cuddle into Sam, whispering his last words.
"I love you, Sammy."
Dylan fell still.
There was a stand-still moment Dylan looked at Sam with a smile, took his last breath, and let it out softly. Sam looked around before he started to sob, he screamed into Dylan's shoulder. Ellen held his still, cold hand and sobbed.
Dean, Rowena, and Meg all began to feel the emotion rack up too.
Dylan had been such a huge impact in all their lives and now he was gone.
Sam got up and wrapped Dylan up in a blanket, cradling his body still.
Dylan's color had all been drained, and his frame was frail. His eyes looked more tired and his eyes still lazily opened, Sam closed his hazel eyes for the last time.
Sam lost the love of his life.

Dean was losing his shit outside the bunker, he was breaking anything that would smash, he felt sick too. He was physically sick from feeling the grief buildup within his chest. Sam came out and grabbed Dean's arms and pulled him into a hug.
It was the first time the two had shared a close moment in months, and it was under extreme circumstances and they knew that.

Meg and Ellen watched them come in, and Dylan was still there as if there was a glimmer of hope that his laugh would come back. However, they knew, in the dead silence, that he was gone. Sam uncovered his face one last time as it appeared pale; his veins were the only color that ran through his body now. His eyelashes were still long, his blonde hair stayed still, and his lips that once had a rosy tint looked soft and colorless.
He was gone.