second chances won't leave us alone | p.t.v

Chapter Forty-Five: Can Hope Conquer All?

Chapter Forty-Five: Can Hope Conquer All?

Tony had brought a teddy bear that was a metre tall. I think that Vic was right about needed a whole room just dedicated to Anna's toys. We had hit two and half weeks. The doctors barely tell me anything anymore. They come in, check her vitals, changed her tubes and check her IV. Grab samples for tests and continue on their merry way. They just write things down, nod at each other and leave. For the first week and a half they'd tell us what's happening and if there is any changes, now they just leave. They don't even tell us anything anymore. Except for Renee. She is a gorgeous woman, she's the one you hope achieves everything good in her life. She's been so incredible, it's almost ridiculous. The whole room now smelt of roses and daffodils, thanks to the flowers we have gotten sent through from distant family members. Like my cousin Dorothy, who currently lives in New Zealand. She sent a little lamb just to keep up stereotypes. And aunty Olivia who only lives in New York. She said she wanted to visit in person, but she was too wrapped up with her students at Juilliard. Yes, my aunty taught at one of the best music schools, I was very proud. She was the one that taught me most of my piano skills, with the side help of mom. I also inherited her hair, but hers was ten times curlier then mine.

I sat, leaning against Ryan's side, watching him play games on his phone. It was entertaining watching him get frustrated. Maybe it was the fact that nothing changing with Anna, also meant she had a big chance of survival. She wasn't getting worse and that was what was keeping me sane for now. It was as if the drug didn't help her, it simply stabilised her. I think I'm going to have to live with that for now. I felt a warmth come over my hand, and looked to see Vic starting to softly play with my fingers. I let my hand go limp as he studied it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Fuck this!" Ryan yelled out, nearly throwing his phone across the room and making me jump a foot into the air.

"Language Ryan." I breathed, my heart rate coming down. Vic chuckled at me, and continued playing with my fingers. The door opened and the usual haul of doctors made their way in, giving us curt nods and going on their way. I had gotten sick of watching them poke and prod my daughter when it told us nothing. I sighed, twining and untwining my fingers with Vic's, trying to ignore them. Vic pressed a kiss to the side of my head, pulling me close.

The doctors used to ask us if we could leave, now the simply tolerate us sitting silently in the corner, waiting, and hoping for a miracle. I turned away, focusing my mind on Vic's scent, and picture the future of the three of us. I hoped we'd find a place like mine and Vic's old one, except bigger and more family friendly. I want room for my piano, and room for us to dance and go crazy because we can. I want a big window, where Vic will sit with Anna, singing her songs and teaching her how to play guitar. If she grows up and doesn't want to play anymore, sure. I just want to be able to watch my daughter grow into a woman. I want to see her grow independent, even if I want her to always come to me for help. The fact I may not get to see any of it is what frightened me the most.

I heard a murmur, and saw all the doctors with their heads pressed together. They seemed almost excited, in a professional sort of way. I perked up, watching their every move. One of them turned, and noticed me, Vic and Ryan, perched watching them.

"I'm sorry, but we have to ask you to step out of the room." My heart race picked up.

"Did you find something?" I stood up abruptly in excitement.

"We are not sure yet, hence why we need you to leave for the moment." Ryan, knowing how stubborn I am, grabbed my shoulders, pulling me away.

"Now now, lil sis. Let them work their magic." Vic followed on our heels as Ryan guided me out of the room, with me constantly glancing behind at them. I caught one last glimpse of my sleeping daughter before the door shut in my face. It reminded me all too much of the time when they told me she was probably going to die. I had only just straightened my moods out, and tried to see the optimistic side of this. It was mostly Vic who inspired me to do this. After seeing how scare he was when I broke down in the bathroom, I decided I needed to try and believe harder in that 40%. I needed to be strong for Vic, and not rely on only him to pull me through. He was worried about Anna as much as I was, he didn't need to deal with my depression too. But as I stood at the closed door, that monster of dread was crawling up my throat, and it was getting hard to swallow. What if it wasn't a good thing? What if the reaction to the drug was bad and she was actually going to die? No Catherine, stop now. Be brave. For Anna, for Vic. For yourself.

I took in a deep breath, taking a seat on a chair outside the door, Vic sitting anxiously in the one next to me. Ryan took to sliding and sitting in the floor. I heard the clinking of heals mixed with normal footsteps, to see my mom and Casey marching down the hall. Casey frowned at us, mostly looking at Ryan, who had given up leaning his back on the wall, and was now lying on the floor.

"Why are you guys out here?" Mom questioned, stopping in front of me.

"They asked us to leave." Casey eyes brightened.

"Have they found something?" She asked eagerly. I simply shrugged.

"I think so, we just don't know if its good, or if its bad." Casey deflated slightly.

"Oh."

"It's simply another waiting game." Vic muttered bitterly. He was as sick of waiting as I was. All we have done is sat and waited for somebody to give us closure, but it never seems to come. At least, not quickly. Casey sighed, and surprisingly joined Ryan on the floor. I hung my head in my hands, exhausting creeping back up. I rubbed my temples, trying to fight the headache that had started to stir up. I don't know how much more I can take of this.

It didn't take long for 30 minutes to pass. I sat, tapping my fingers on my knees, growing impatient. I glanced to see Vic chewing his lips in frustration. I softly growled, hitting the back of my head lightly on the wall. The door then sprung open, and I practically tripped as I scrambled to my feet. The doctor managed to keep a serious face as he talked to us.

"We have been running a few tests, because there was something different today. Her body is finally responding to the drug. The good news is, is that it's response is good. Her white cells are returning, and her body is slowly healing itself. You're daughter is going to live."

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I'll still post tomorrow I just need something to cheer me up.

I went to bed at 8 last night crying from pain. I am legitimately going to find Mother Nature and murder the fuck out of her.

QOTD: What the one song that gets you moving?

AOTD: Funnily enough, Teenagers by MCR gets me going.

~I'm dying guys, I've never felt pain like this.