Big major oof.
-:-:-:-
After a good stretch of time in that alleyway, you managed to scrape yourself together enough to stand up. You wobbled a bit, slightly lightheaded from your crying session.
You honestly had no idea what to do. To keep up this lie would be detrimental to all involved parties. Eventually, your parents or the government would find out about what was going on and then... what? You'd get punished, maybe even go to prison, and the boys... Davey...
You couldn't even bring yourself to think about what would be done to them.
You choked back another sob and looked towards the sky to keep the welling tears from falling. It was then that you noticed how long you had been in that alley; the sky was now a burnt orange, heralding the end of the day.
Your parents would definitely have noticed your absence by now.
Wonderful.
Well, you could just tell them that you felt overwhelmed and needed a walk to clear your head... Hmmm... they wouldn't be happy with you, but it would keep them from knowing what you were truly up to. But then... then they would almost certainly place even more restrictions on your freedoms. And that would mean you wouldn't be able to sneak out at all anymore.
You mulled over all the boundaries in your life, the red tape, the maze you had to find a way through... the more you though about it, the angrier you became.
You kicked an old rusted bucket in a rage and growled out a strangled cry that was meant to be a scream, but was muddled by all the emotions swirling in your soul.
Why? Why was the world the way it was? It wasn't fair in any way.
But since when was life fair for anyone?
At this point, it was almost impossible to keep your tears in check. Your eyes swam with miniature streams of sorrow.
"Stupid. Stupid! I must be a masochist, because why else would I have been this much of an idiot?" You ranted to yourself, tears streaming down your cheeks. You heard a shuffle of feet at the entrance of the alley and paused for a moment, quieting yourself out of curiosity. After a moment of silence, your thoughts trailed back to your predicament.
Suddenly, you had a moment of clarity. You. Your predicament. Your mistake.
Good gracious, you were so incredibly selfish. Here you are, feeling sorry for yourself when this whole fiasco could very well ruin at least a dozen other lives.
You wanted a normal life, so you dragged a whole group of innocent boys down with you because you were only thinking of yourself. You wanted to see Davey again, so you did, without considering the consequences. You wanted to escape the prison of your life. You didn't care about the ramifications of your actions and you didn't even think about how your actions could affect the boys.
Everything was about you.
"What is wrong with me?" You said, voice cracking.
"Ain't nothin wrong with you, sugarplum. You look good enough to eat." A gruff voice growled from the other end of the alley. You just about jumped out of your skin when you heard it. You turned to see a greasy, yet well dressed man leaning against the brick wall of the alley. He must have been hiding there the entire time.
YOU ARE READING
Dszahdh - A Newsies Oneshot Book
FanfictionA oneshot compilation for the broadway version of Newsies that began with someone else's typo (here's lookin at you, @omg_im_totes_biii): There are lots of different X readers within; enter at your own risk. There is cringe galore. If you enjoy thes...