Sick ( A Randy Fanficton)

harm

*Self harm warning*

I open the door and see Andy sitting on the floor against a wall without pants on, only boxers and a shirt. "What's up?" I say cautiously and confused. I walk closer then I see it. The deep lines on his upper thighs. "Oh my god Andy!" I say loudly. "I said dont yell" he says looking up at me. He is acting like this is casual, there are no signs of sadness or tears or fear. "Why are you acting so okay right now?" I say my voice still loud. "Rye, it's hard to explain." he says. "No it's not Andy, you cut yourself. I don't understand why though. I dont understand why you can't just see how loved you actually are. Jesus christ. "I say knowing i sound like a dick. "ITS NOT THAT I DONT FEEL LOVED RYAN" he yells back at me. He shakily pulls out a shirt from his drawer next to him and presses it against the bloody lines. Now quietly he says "sometimes...i get ahead of myself... I generally forget that theirs more to life than me you and the boys. It's like i become ungrounded and i'm slowly drifting away...but it's also not a bad thing?" He says as more of a question. "Rye, im not sad at least not anymore. This just grounds me." He says. I want to yell at him for grounding himself when there are other ways but this also makes a lot of sense to me. "Lets get you to the bathroom" I say and bed down grabbing his arm and putting it around my shoulder as he leans on his good leg. We walk all the way there, well he hops, but we get there and he sits on the edge of the bathtub. I take the shower head down and put it on with some warm water and the most gentle setting. "It's gonna hurt" I say looking at him. He looks up to me with a sympathetic smile and says "I know, it''s okay". I nod and gently let the water drip from the showerhead to his thigh as the dark red fades back to bare skin and all that are slices. I can see red wanting to come back up through the cracks again so I quickly put some cream on it and some gauze. We do all of this in silence but nothing needs to be said.

I walk him back to him room. Im about to walk back out not thinking anything of it when suddenly I feel a grip on my wrists and im being pulled back. I stumble and there he is beautiful blue eyes and everything. "I didn't mean to pull you that hard" He says looking kind of embarrassed. I chuckle a little. "I'm sorry youre the one who had to come and help me, maybe i should have asked Jack or something but im really glad you understand now...or at least see why i do whether you understand or not" he says. "I just hate the fact it makes sense" I say. "I know" he says. "I know it's still not right and i should find an alternative" He says putting his head against my chest. I wrap my arms around him and i walk forwards making him walk backwards until we reach his bed,he sits down then swings his legs around so he is sitting up. he sneaks under the covers and I join him. He snuggles close to my chest and I drift off to sleep hearing little snores escape from him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so in the end it was sweet. Alsooooo some biiiig stuff commin up sooooonnnnn.