Diary of The Infinite

32| Beginning

I answered the phone over my Bluetooth since I was driving. I was trying to contain my tears and drive responsibly, but it was hard. I'd never been good at suppressing my tears.

"H-hello?"

"Jiminie, I -- wait, are you okay?" Tae's concerned voice flowed over the speaker and wrapped me in a blanket of emotional warmth.

"I'm just f-fine."

"Just fine." Tae repeated skeptically. "How's Yoongi?"

"He's awake."

"That's good, alright, well, I'll talk to you when I get off okay?"

"Okay." I sniffled.

It took all of my energy to drag myself up to my apartment and I trudged inside feeling empty and sad. How could Yoongi draw something like that? Why did he draw the way he did? Why were all of the beginnings so beautiful when End avoided me like the plague? NONE OF IT MADE ANY SENSE!!!! I was tired of thinking. So tired. Maybe I needed a nap. Or another hibernation. But that felt like running from my problems, and I didn't like the thought of that.

I was curled up on the couch, wanting to tell Taehyung everything. But I couldn't. It would endanger the both of them. Well, all of them really. Tae. Yoongi. Me. I heard a loud commotion in the hall and the door to my apartment opened.

"Jimin-ssi!" Jungkook was shuffling into the apartment, loaded down with bags. "Taetae called an emergency hang-out. What happened?"

"Shush, Kookie! We're making dinner before we bug him."

The couple squabbled their way into the kitchen. I burrowed deeper into my blanket, anticipating their calm night in. I'd put on my favorite pajamas and rolled myself up in my favorite fleecey blanket. Who cares if its late June? I wanted comfort.

"Dinner is served Jiminie!" Tae declared, presenting a bowl filled with ice cream and pretzels and four maraschino cherries, a fork on the side. Jungkook was behind, their bowls in hand and Taehyung's favorite Totoro plushie beneath his arm. The giant plushie was positioned in front of me, signaling that I was the one who needed emotional support.

"So, now will you tell us why you were crying?"

"Wait! You were crying? Who do I get to punch?" Jungkook started to get out of his chair, Tae pulled him back down.

"Nobody Kook, but thanks." I breathed deeply. "I went to Yoongi's apartment. Joon hyung helped me get him in bed. He has so many drawings. Of baby things, ya'know? And, I don't know, Joon mentioned that he had some darker sketches. He handed me a book to look through.

"It was all dead things. Dying. Th-the last one." I started crying again and Tae moved to hug me.

"I-it was h-him! He w-wants t-to die." I sobbed. "I-I just f-found him ag-gain! I don't want t-to l-lose him!"

"Sh, its okay." Tae whispered.

"Maybe you should tell Yoongi that you feel that way." Jungkook suggested.

"What if, what if he doesn't w-want me?"

The two boys shared a look. From Jimin's upset, it was clear that Yoongi wasn't just some guy and he was worth it. And they weren't the type to deal out false hope. An unspoken agreement passed over Jimin's head. The couple would support their hyung with all they had.

"Then we'll have Totoro Talks until you're happy again." Kookie smiled softly.

My phone rang before I could giggle. "Hello?"

"Hey, its Namjoon. I shouldn't have shown you that notebook. I'm sorry. I didn't know that he drew that." A pause. "He wants to talk to you Jimin. Whatever your history, he cares a lot about you. Just. . . Call him?"

"It's not your fault and, I'll try. I didn't mean to freak out like that."

"We're upset too. It's understandable and no one blames you for reacting. Jin's talking to him. I should go. Bye!" Namjoon clicked off.

"Sounds like he wants you..." Taehyung whispered.

"Thank you for coming to my Totoro Talk." Kookie giggled.

I felt a lot better knowing that Jin and Namjoon were with Yoongi. I wasn't feeling brave enough to call just yet, but I wouldn't be able to stay away for long.

Yoongi had that effect on me.

Edited ✔