She looks up, confused. A frown appears on her forehead, and she looks at me long and hard.
'That's it?' She asks.
I shake my head and close the journal. 'This is my first journal. I had to work hard to put it all into words. I had to ask and ask, to find some memories that I couldn't remember, until it feels like I 'was' there, a little baby, looking at my Mum'.
She gives me a blank look.
I heave a sigh, 'I put all the happy memories in one book. Sometimes I read this journal and pretend that It finishes there. I take out the bad memories, and write the happy ones over and over again. It sort of helps. Makes sense?'.She smiles a little. An understanding smile. Warmth comes inside me. Ellie has a beautiful smile. I have to admit.
'I like little Sarah'. She says, 'She reminds me of Sarah Crew, though I'm not really sure why'.
'Sarah Crew?'.
She raises her eyebrows, 'You haven't read A Little Princess?'.
'Nope'.
She pushes some strands of hair out of her eyes. I put my legs on a pillow, my toes twitching, expecting her to tell me to read it. She doesn't.
'You didn't liked your Dad?'.
I lean forward, folding my arms. 'What makes you say that?'.
She smirks, 'I can read'.
I shake my head, 'I don't know. That's the thing. You see, I 'had' everything, just as I do now. But the thing is, I didn't had 'everything''.
She makes a face, You're confusing, you know that?'.
I open my mouth to protest, but she cuts me off before I even manage a single word.'You had a loving Mother. You 'have' a loving Mother. A great best friend and all the luxury your Mother could and can afford. And even though that's everything, you want something else? Something you never had or have?'.
I nod. She heaves a sigh, 'Do you happen to know that you're still lucky as hell to have a good Mother?'.
I shake my head, something heavy comes into my heart. A feeling that I don't like.
'But I don't have her, Do I?'.
Millions of memories flash through my mind, making me feel sick. I try to push them away, feeling the same horrible feeling I feel every time I think this over.
She frowns, 'What do you mean?'.
I try to bury all the memories back into the dark corner of my mind. Giving her an annoyed look, I say, 'Figure it out yourself'.
She stands out, putting the pillows back into their places. I shake my head and tell her not to. I've never really had a tidy room with everything settled in it's place. She ignores me and fixes the bed as best as she can anyway.
I walk with her to the front door. None of us speaking a single word. The air feels heavy and so does everything else. Suddenly, I feel tired and I just want her to go, so I can lie down and sleep. Believe me, sleep helps.
She heaves a deep sigh as she steps out. I don't ask her anything, even though I feel like I should.
She taps her feet lightly and bites her lips, 'I can visit again maybe?'.
I feel a smile form on my face and my eyes, twinkle. Making sure my voice sounds moody, I shrug and lean back on the door.
She grins and gives me a light shove, almost making me trip over.
'I'll take that as a yes'.
I don't feel that bad anymore. I can almost feel the weight on my heart lift up. Stepping forward, I give her a quick hug, and she smiles.
'You'll be fine Sarah, Just wait and see'.
I smile again, warmth enters my heart.
'I hope so Ellie. I hope'.
She smiles again and then she's gone. But I don't feel bad. Actually, I feel something I haven't felt for a while. I feel happy.
YOU ARE READING
All The Memories That We Made [Completed]
Ficción General*In progress of editing* *The last 14 chapters are unedited and won't be edited till the end of March* 'People think that if you have money, you can buy anything the world has to offer. Maybe that's why nobody understands. Having a perfect, sweet M...