Just Him ❤

35. Flight

Sebastian opened his eyes and checked his watch, they'd been in the air for four hours already. He felt better after his sleep. He looked to his left, Chloe was still fast asleep. It had been less than 48 hours since Michael's sudden appearance had rocked their still new relationship. He was missing her so much. Even though she was here physically next to him, she wasn't here in the way he'd got used to. He knew she wasn't ready to talk about Stephen yet, but he was ready to talk about Michael. It was just a shame they were stuck on a plane for quite a few more hours yet. He would have to be patient and wait for the right time to talk. As she slept, he allowed himself to study her. Her long auburn hair was swept to one side, flowing down over her left shoulder. It stood out against the cream long sleeved top she was wearing. Her eyelashes were long, even though she wore no mascara. Her skin had regained a bit more colour since she'd been sleeping, a soft glow now adorned her cheeks. Her lips were a pretty shade of pink. He thought of how her lips felt against his own, how they felt as they pressed kisses to his skin. He looked down at his hand still holding hers. Her red nail varnish was chipped, in need of re-doing. He loved her so much. She had gone quickly from a stranger to a friend in December, cheering him up when his ex had tried to drag him down, that's when his feelings for her had developed. In January they'd continued to become close friends, she had let him comfort her when seeing Mick had stirred up memories of Michael. In February, things had started to heat up between them. He had loved having her by his side at the car launch, that's when he'd really fallen in love with her. The day after when they'd kissed, he would never forget. And now, just over three weeks later, she was distant again, and he had been the one to push her away. When he had caught his ex cheating on him, he'd thought it would be a very long time before he found someone he wanted to share his life with again. He'd not been single at all during his adult life, he'd never expected to meet someone again so quickly. More than anything he wanted her back, he just had to find out what Michael meant to her. Absent mindedly his thumb was stroking her knuckles as he held her hand. It was something he'd done so often, he didn't always realise he was doing it.

                               ~*~

Chloe's eyes opened. She looked down at her hand, still being held by Seb. His thumb was stroking across her knuckles, as though it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do. She looked across at him. His eyes were closed, his headphones still in his ears. His long eyelashes curled upwards, he had perfectly full lips. A beautiful profile from the side to look at. His hair a little on the wild side on top of his head. He had a covering of stubble on his face. She looked back down at his long slender fingers entwined with her's then back to his beautiful face. Her eyes slid down his body, he was wearing a grey long sleeve t-shirt that clung to his torso just the right amount. It made you curious as to what his body looked like underneath. She was lucky enough to know. She was lucky enough to have experienced his body, to have touched him, kissed him, pressed her own body against him and writhed beneath him. She closed her eyes, remembering the last time they'd made love, Friday night. The way he'd held her and kissed in bed, then explored every inch of her body with his lips. Making her come just by using his mouth and fingers on her before sliding himself inside her, connecting with her on a level that went much deeper than just sex. His thumb was still stroking her knuckles, she opened her eyes again turning her head towards him. He was looking straight at her. Those beautiful blue eyes she'd grown to love so quickly, looking at her. He gave her a small smile before closing his eyes again and turning his head away from her.

                                ~*~

They had a four hour stop in Dubai before catching another flight that would take them to Melbourne. After spending a while checking in for the next flight and wandering around the shops, they sat in a private booth in the Emirates first class lounge. Antti was hanging out with Francesco to give Seb and Chloe a bit of space. Spending the first flight sitting on Seb's right hand side he'd seen Seb constantly holding her hand, looking at Chloe when she'd been asleep and seeming deep in thought. Chloe busied herself by scrolling through Instagram on her phone while Seb flicked through a magazine beside her.
"Did you and Michael have an affair?" He spoke quietly, shifting a bit closer to her. He couldn't wait any longer.

"You want to talk about this here?" She was taken back by his question. "I don't want to argue Seb."

"Neither do I." He looked at her. "I'm ready to talk Chloe."

"Here though?" She asked.

"Yes, here. We're in a private booth so less chance of people hearing. I was going to wait until we got to Melbourne, but I can't. I need to hear your side." He put the magazine down. "I need to know how you feel about him."

"There was never an affair. But we did kiss, once." She took a deep breath, if he was ready to listen, she had to be ready to talk. This was her chance to get Seb back. "I spent a year working with him and Sabine. I was 23 years old and he was 37. I worked quite closely with him, sharing some of Sabines work load. And yes, I fell for him." She looked at Seb, trying to read his expression.

"You fell in love with him?" He asked.

"I don't know if it was love. Not that at stage. But we clicked, we got on so well. I guess we flirted a bit. Then he retired and I left."

"But you worked for him again?"

"Yes, he called for me in 2010. Sabine at the time was less at the circuits and more at his place in Switzerland, helping to set up the ranch. I spent a lot of time on my own with him. That's when I fell in love. I think he had feelings for me too, he was always quite tactile with me, we had a moment at the GP in Germany, we'd made a silly bet on two crew members that we thought were seeing each other. He won and had this stupidly massive smug grin on his face so I threw a cushion at him in the motor home which ended up being a kind of pillow fight, that's when we kissed but there was never an affair. He never betrayed his wife's trust." She looked down at the table.

"He kissed you, of course that was betraying her. So what happened after he retired again?" He asked.

"He wanted me to stay on, there was a possibility of me going to America to help with opening another ranch there. He knew how I felt about him and so I didn't go. I was so happy there. Sabine knew I had feelings for him, but thought nothing ever happened between us, she was happy about that. And then he had his accident, I knew it was bad. I was devastated." She wiped a rogue tear from her face. "The man I loved, he wouldn't be the same. Then Sabine said I had to leave. I knew it was because she knew I loved him. They totally cut me off. No contact, no updates on how he was. I grieved for him Seb." She wiped another tear. " I grieved as though he was dead, I didn't know how else to deal with it." Seb put his arm around her, pulling her into his side.

"How do you feel now you've seen him?"

"It's different now." She looked at him. "I didn't think I'd love anyone after him, but then I met you."

"That's not answering my question."

"It's difficult to describe. I still love him, but it feels different now. I saw him as my close friend, not the man I love. I know it must have been strange for you to see me with him like you did."

"It just made me question everything Chloe. All I could see was my girlfriend with a man who had meant so much to her." He took hold of her hand. "I feel as though I don't know you. You were there with him, crying over him, holding him. I can't go through what I went through with Hannah again. And i don't know if I can stay with someone who keeps secrets."

"I'm not keeping secrets. And I love you Seb. More than I've ever loved anyone. I never thought it possible to love anyone the way I love you."

"Then why won't you tell me what Stephen did to you?" He hated bringing it up again, but it was eating away at him, wondering what he'd done and why she wouldn't tell him. "If you love me like you say you do, then tell me."

"Excuse me sir." A woman in Emirates uniform appeared at their table. "We're now inviting first class passengers to board." She smiled.

"Thank you." Chloe replied. The woman left them to it. "We'd better move." She stood up and exited the booth. Seb followed and they walked through to the gate. She kept looking at him as they walked to the plane, his face was giving nothing away. She had been honest with him, she didn't need to tell him about the kiss but she wanted to. She just hoped she hadn't made things worse. She knew there was no other option but to tell him about that night in August, 2006.