daunt

seven

deep down the blond boy knew it was wrong for him to do in so many ways, but his heart still fluttered when he saw ashton pull out his bright green lighter that matched his own pink one that they had bought when they were. together.

he swung his legs over the wall he was sat on beside ashton, feeling a little more free than he had all day as ashton lit a cigarette and brought it to his lips for him. anyone would think they were still together if they saw them like this; ashton practically feeding luke a cigarette - and he didn't know how he felt about that.

"why did we break up?" ashton asked, pulling the cigarette to his own lips, sharing it with luke today. "in all honesty." he added.

luke took a deep breath. he had been waiting for these questions to come around, but had more been expecting them over text, rather than when they met up to smoke occasionally. "why do you still care?" luke asked, his voice coming out more broken than he expected it to.

"because i've been thinking about it for a long time," ashton pulled the cigarette away from his lips, "and i can't think of an answer. was i not good enough for you? did you get tired of me? im just curious." he said.

they both knew that was a lie.

ashton wanted luke back, and luke would say the same in a heartbeat if he wasn't hanging around with people like sierra and crystal and all of his new friend group who didn't like ashton at all. he knew he'd be judged if they even realised that he still messaged ashton, let alone if they were to walk past right now and see them smoking together. they had a thing against smoking as well.

"i-" luke began, but cut himself off when he realised any answer he had wasn't a good enough reason to break up with someone but still hang out with them as a friend. it had originally been because of his parents, and what they would do if they found out about ashton. in so many ways their relationship was wrong, and he knew his parents wouldn't accept it. ashton was ready to tell his mum, and luke wasn't. how would he explain to her and his father that he was dating a kid from the wrong side of town, who was littered with tattoos and smelt of smoke and sickly sweet lynx cologne. how would he explain even that he didn't like girls, but was in fact a little twink?

"i don't know." he gave the answer eventuay, breathing out a breath of air he didn't know he was holding back.

ashton shrugged, and for a moment luke was expecting him to push it, and ask more questions until he got to the bottom of it, but he didn't. instead, ashton stood up and moved from the wall, chucking his bag over his back and leaving the river side.

luke was alone again.