daunt

thirty six

the twink hadn't meant for it to happen at all, in fact, it was all quite the opposite.

being stuck in a room with ashton, smoke pouring out the sides of the door, wasn't how he planned his weekend to go, but honestly, he couldn't resist the curly haired man anymore.

he felt so deprived of love and care that he had to act on it.

he needed ashton back.

that was why, at 2 in the morning, he found himself climbing out the window without his phone and walking down to the old park where him and his ex lover used to smoke. he knew ashton would probably be there, it was a routine thing, that and the fact luke knew the man inside and out.

ashton had his back turned to luke and was sat on the old swings, smoking with a bottle of vodka of some sort on the floor by his converse. his legs were wrapped in the same black skinny jeans he always wore, and luke knew even from just seeing the back of the boy that he was crying.

his posture was hunched over, and he was rocking on the swing, pushing it back and forth slowly. the night was dead quiet and still. ashton didn't even have his phone playing music softly as luke had expected.

he came up behind him, and sighed. "ash?" his croaky voice broke the silence, and ashton turned around quickly. the look on his face was evident and proved everything luke already knew. his eyes were puffy and red, his lip jutted out a little, and he looked somewhat like he'd been in a fight. his jaw was crooked but fixed. his gaze dropped when he saw who it was.

"luke." he mumbled, turning back around. "go home. why are you even here?"

luke sighed again and moved forward carefully, stepping into the swing beside ashton's and looking at the honey boy. his hair had fallen in his face, almost as an attempt to cover himself up. the blond frowned at that. he wanted ashton to be free with him.

"i miss you." luke said.

the words mixed with the sad feeling in the air, and ashton felt as if he was being choked.

"if this is some sort of sick joke you can just fuck off." he grunted.

"it's not." luke assured him. he felt a little awkward, since he hadn't spoken in ashton face to face in weeks, but he ignored it and leaned forward, placing his hand gently on ash's back. "i want to be with you. i don't care what anyone says. i love you. if i didn't, i would have been able to move on by now. right? i realise how stupid i've been." luke laughed lightly, straightening back up again. "i was stupid an- i was just- i want you back. i want you back." he repeated, smiling at ashton hopefully.

it was quiet for a moment, and ashton looked up with sad eyes.

"i don't know luke." he mumbled, lowering his head again.

"wh- well what do you mean you don't know?" luke asked, rambling. words came out of his mouth in a flurry. "it's okay, i know this is all weird, in fact, i feel weird too. it-"

"no luke." ashton butted in again.

"what then? you don't know what to say? don't worry about that we don't have to talk, i-"

"stop!" ashton cut in for the last time, and this time luke really did shut up. "i don't know. i need time to think."

"b-" the only thing luke had the energy to do or say was a small, frustrated grunt. "you've had ages to think. ages to think while i thought about it. you acted like-" he cut himself off this time, shaking his head and pushing off of the swings. "goodbye." he grumbled.

he should have left when he could have.

but,

as he took off from the swings, a cold hand was on his arm, keeping him firm and still where he was. a single hand, that, of course, belonged to ashton.

"it's not like that." ash said gently. his hazel eyes were lit in the moonlight and the dim street lamp that shone down above them. not a single car could be seen or heard. they felt alone. just the two of them, finally at peace. "i've wanted to be back with you for ages, i'm just- i'm broken." he let go of luke's arm, and half expected the twink to rush off and leave the park and maybe hurl a few crap insults at him on the way. he was bracing himself for that, and was maybe a little too happy when it didn't happen and luke stayed put. "maybe it's a good thing we aren't together. i'm just a broken toy, you know, i should be thrown aw-"

"shut up," luke smiled dopily. his eyes were clouded over, a look on his face that ashton hadn't seen in months. it was like revisting their past selves. happier people. ashton missed those days.

luke pushed himself forward, and in no time their lips were attatched.

ashton had no idea what really happened after that, his memory of it all was slightly hazy. but one thing was for sure, him and luke had gone back to ash's new flat that luke was yet to explore, and had make up sex, and they were back together. whoever they'd been sleeping with before? they were out of the picture. even if they'd not been told that yet.

back to the current hour, all flashbacks and thoughts from the previous night exploding in luke's head, he had a lit cigarette in his hand, and so did ashton. smoking in a flat, and not even outside, was maybe a little low even for him, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

he had slept over at ashton's, obviously, and had to admit, he missed everything about the older boy more than he would ever willingly admit. the way ashton held onto him and cuddled him tight, as if the care he had for the younger soul went right through into his unconscious mind. luke loved it. and he had missed it greatly.

"you alright?" ashton asked, snapping luke again from his thoughts. he puffed greyish smoke from between his cherry lips, a smile dancing on them; the first genuine smile that luke had seen him bare for a good few months. "you seem lost." he laughed.

"i get carried away in my fantasies." luke joked back, finishing his cigarette and butting it out on the table, where ashton had done the same with his.

luke fell asleep again for a midday nap cuddled up on ashton's chest, where he felt at home. he listened to the tanned boy's heart beat calmly in his chest and knew that was where he belonged. one of ashton's strong arms lay wrapped around him, their hands intertwined.

he was content.