PROJECT GIRL

thirty

NANAPOV:

Once I came back to life for just a second , I couldn't really see because it was blurry. I could see a light and I seen doctors crowded around me. Then everything went blank again.

Once I was back I still blurry for the first few seconds then everything came to me. I could see Tanya. She was standing there crying and it made me feel even worse. It was nothing like seeing someone you care about hurt.

"Stop crying please." I said in a sleepy voice. Tanya rushed over to the bedside. She looked at me and smiled. Tanya and I hadn't spoke since Tori's party. That time apart made me truly miss my best friend.

"I swear I was scared that I almost lost you." Tanya wiped her tears then grabbed my hand.
"Where is Semaj? Is the baby okay?"
"I was laying down when I got the phone call it made me jump out the bed so quick." Tanya ignored my questions and continued to tell how she felt about hearing that I was in the hospital.

"So you don't hear me asking you about my man and my baby." I began to try and sit up.

"Nana just rest and let the doctors tell you the answers to your questions."
"Why cant you tell me?"
"That's their jobs."
"It's yours too?"

Just while we we're going back and forth a tall dark chocolate doctor came in my room closing the door. He had a clip board in his hand.

"Hello I see you are finally woke ." The doctor did a slight smile.
"Can you tell me what I don't know." I didn't mean to be ride but I needed to know what happened to my Baby.
"Well Ms. Smith, there was some complications during the process. I'm dearly sorry but you had a miscarriage."
I laid my hands over my face beginning to cry. I always wanted to be a mother and to have that chance taken from me over nothing that to do with me. It was a hurting feeling.
"I want you to know that we did everything. There is a small chance of you having another baby your body just can't take that type of pressure."

"So what is next for her?" Tanya asked.
"Well she'll be up outta here in two days max then she'll need to rest for a while once she's out." The doctor expained.

I was lost in my own pain. I was no longer gonna meet my first child. I could only remember La la asking me to go out with her. If only I didn't go I wouldn't have lost my baby. It was all my fault and I was feeling guilty as fuck.

"I'll give you some time alone." The dotor walked out and closed the door behind him.

"I really can't believe that bitch took something from me when I was just telling her I wanted to give her a job because she got fired." I cried and tried to tell my pain.

"I always knew that bitch was grimmey." Tanya replied.
"I trusted her and she brought me the most pain. " I broke down. I cried hard. I was not only hurt about hearing about the baby. But hearing that the chances of me having a baby in the future was was slim hurts. The one thing I always wanted to be a mother. I was hoping to go for a btter mother than the one I had. I wanted to experience a bond with my own child. But now that will never happen." I cried even harder.
"Nana fuck what that doctor said your going to have a baby just don't beat yourself about this shit. Lala is the blame for this not you."
I sat there in silence. I was hurting bad. I decided to lay down. I turned facing away from the door.

"I'll see where Semaj is okay?" Tanya said. I didn't say anything.

Then I heard the door open. I turned over to see if Tanya left then I see Tori and Maniac walking in. Tanya stood there not sure what was going on either.