cherry pie - billie eilish

003.

cola - lana del rey

my pussy tastes like pepsi cola

"there you are," he smiled at me. i looked at him in disgust and began to leave when he grabbed my wrist stopping me.

"please don't act this way. nai still loves you dearly," he spoke with sad eyes.

my heart burned as her nickname rolled off his tounge. it rung in my ears as i remembered. the thought of the hand he held my wrist with, touching her in ways only i should, filled my head.

i opened my mouth to speak but closed it quickly as tears welled up in my eyes. "don't touch me," i spoke coldly, escaping his grip. i opened the diner door and ran as far as my legs could carry me until i finally reached what i called home.

my grandmother died a few months back causing me to have to live with my bitch of a mother. i couldn't stand her so i went to live with naomi.

of course, i can no longer do that.

i entered the abandoned cabin and felt a sense of home. nana and i would come here to stay and read all the time. sometimes, i can still hear her laughter and feel her warmth.

she raised me and i miss her dearly.

i sighed sadly, starting a fire at the fireplace and lighting a few candles. the small cabin was still lonely but a bit brighter. i sat in the big wooden chair placed in the corner of the room and let everything go.

i cried until i fell breathless. the world felt like it had ended.

—

"glad you could finally join us," my english teacher spoke annoyed as i walked into class 15 minutes late. i ignored his remark and turned to sit down.

but where?

i always sat by naomi but, today i didn't even want to see her. i could feel her eyes on me, anxious to know where i'd sit. i smiled seeing the beautiful crystal eyed girl from yesterday. her nose deep in a book and an open seat next to her.

i sat there smiling and sitting my books down. i looked over to her and watched as her eyes moved across the page. she gasped and i giggled a bit. her eyes shot up at me, causing me to tense up.

her pink lips formed into a smile as she recognized me and shook her head. "there is nothing funny about lenny dieing!" she whispered sarcastically.

i glanced at the teacher quickly to see he was still deep in lecture and looked back over at billie. "you're adorable," i whisper. i watch as her cheeks grow red and she looks back at her book.

i realize what i had done. i was flirting with her which was unintentional. this is why everyone called me a whore. i can't control it though, it happens naturally.

maybe it's my constant need for attention.

affection.

love

and it's probably my fault.

—

i held my lunch in my hands shakily as i searched for a seat. if we're being honest, i wanted to see the beautiful girl i had met only yesterday. i hoped to join her for lunch.

"charlotte!" i heard a familiar voice call for me. i continued walking though, speeding up my pace until i saw the girl i'd hoped to see.

"is this seat taken?" i smiled setting my things down. her nose was still buried deep in her book and i watched as she licked her index finger to turn the page.

i decided to let her be. whatever she was reading must be very good. i reached into the paper bag that held my packed lunch. i didn't find much in the cabin but there was still enough to make a couple meals.

"you can't keep avoiding me," naomi spoke angrily beside me. she must've followed me.

"can you shut up? i'm trying to eat," i say, biting into my sandwich. i hear billie chuckle from beside me and i feel my heart skip a beat.

"where are you staying?" she questions. rodger suddenly joins her and i see billie look up from her book. "can you leave?" i ask bluntly.

"hey, don't be rude to her," rodger says protectively. i watch as he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. "please just answer my question."

i feel my blood boil and open my mouth to speak but i'm interrupted. "she doesn't have to answer you," i hear billie say from beside me. i feel myself relax at the sound of her voice.

rodger opens his mouth to speak but before he can i'm pulled away by billie. she leads me outside while naomi and rodger call back for me. we stop at a gas station, not too far from school, and she lets me go.

we say nothing and walk in. i follow her as she walks to the back and grabs some candy, stuffing it in her pockets. "i had to get you out of there," she speaks, breaking our silence.

"why?" i ask curiously, watching as she stuffs some candy in her bra. so she can buy a slice of pie, but not candy? i smirk a little at the thought.

"because the look on your face had i'm going to kill these fuckers written all over it." i chuckled at her bluntness. "i have money, you know," i say, taking the candy she was about to stuff in her empty pocket, out of her hand.

"that's cool but, i like the rush of taking what isn't mine," she smirks at me. i nod and we walk out of the door as if nothing happened.