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lust for life - lana del rey
...keeps us alive
billie had told me to get ready for bed after about thirty minutes. i groaned sadly. i enjoyed watching the way her and finneas worked on music together.
their minds were beautiful.
i decided to wear another one of billie's shirts to bed. yes, i had my own clothes. but, nothing compared to the warmth i felt wearing her shirt.
her scent burned my nose and i never wanted it to leave. it filled me with childlike joy.
i sat on the bed and waited eagerly for billie to join me. as if she'd read my thoughts, she walked in. her face tired as she hummed the melody to the song she sang for me that night.
for me
she slipped her shoes and socks off and joined me in the bed. i was soon pulled into her embrace.
i love this feeling and never wanted it to end. i couldn't wait to get to know the ethereal beauty i fell for in such a short time.
—
two weeks. the best of my life if you dare to ask me. for two weeks, me and billie got to know each other. we shared stories and i learned all i could about the beauty.
when it came to me answering the questions about my well-being i grew nervous, blunt, and sad. i was enjoying our conversation.
it's all i needed. talking to her was all i needed to make everything better.
"are you okay baby? you seem zoned out." billie asked. i nodded nervously and listened intently as she began to tell a story about peeing in a closet.
we were back at the diner where we first met. she'd ordered me a slice of cherry pie and a coke, quickly learning it was my favorite.
"the doctor pushed me in the closet and was like, pee," she said taking a sip of her water. i shook my head laughing. "she did not!"
"i swear she did!"
we fell into a laughing fit and i struggled to breathe. there were tears falling from my eyes.
"charlotte?" i heard someone call for me. me and billie jerked our heads in the direction of the voice only to find rodger. "me and nai were worried about you."
"she is fine, shoo along," billie spoke, taking my hands into hers. she continued with her story as if rodger was a ghost and i could see him growing angry.
"she cries about you," he said, rudely interrupting. billie stood up from the booth to face him. she gave him the deadliest eyes i'd ever seen and it made me shiver a bit.
"well fuck me gently with a garden knife. do i look like i give a shit? she did what she did, now she must accept the consequences."
i sat in shock as i looked at the two. billie had that same look i did that day at lunch.
and she probably would kill him.
"let's go," i get up and struggle to pull her away from him. i basically drag her out of the diner and we begin on our way home.
"you had the look," i say nervously while walking. she looks over at me, fists still balled up. face still red.
"yeah, and i might've just killed him," she confesses.
