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summary: you like steve, but don't have the courage to admit it. you spend your time instead imagining scenarios of you two being together.
[another request because writing these are fun as fuck]
He was perfect.
Of course he had flaws, but in my eyes he was absolutely perfect. His flaws made him better to me. It was proof that he was human like the rest of us.
He was funny, brave, and smart even if he didn't think he was. Over years of being close friends with him, I had picked up on all of these qualities about him.
We did everything together. We always spent time with each other and had a really strong bond. We helped each other with homework, I always was with him during his hours at the DX, and we always talked in school whenever we got the chance.
He was my close friend, but I wanted more.
Of course, I didn't want to tell him this because I didn't want to wreck my entire friendship with him.
Instead, I spent most of my time daydreaming about the boy. What would it be like to be able to hold his hand and kiss him whenever I pleased? What would it be like to be able to tell him I loved him?
My imagination transported me to a completely different world. My mind took me to a world where people like Steve and I could fall in love even if it was unlikely.
I lied to myself and eventually had pretty much convinced myself that we were dating in my head. It wasn't doing anyone any harm if I just kept it to myself, right?
When Steve did come around, I acted normal. We joked around and teased each other like usual, but my heart ached for something more than that.
Steve had always said he considered me a little sister. He'd playfully spin me around in the living room of the Curtis house, or he'd leave small kisses on the top of my head or forehead.
He always meant it in a brotherly way, but I wanted it to be different. I wanted to feel him hold me because he loved me and never wanted to let go. I wanted for him to kiss me because he absolutely adored me the way I adored him.
Eventually, I couldn't take the feelings I was having. I felt pathetic pretending that he loved me like that. It felt wrong creating a false image of Steve in my head.
I opened up to Sodapop about my problem and he was surprised. I had just told him and now we were sitting together outside in the steps as he processed the information he'd been given.
"I thought you guys were like brother and sister, though!" He protested. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
"That's how Steve feels, but I want something more than that. I-I keep lying to myself, telling myself he likes me when he obviously doesn't. The truth is right in my face but for some reason I keep lying to myself." I explained, feeling ashamed. Sodapop sighed.
"I hate to break it to you, Y/n, but I don't think he sees you that way. He really digs Evie, you know that." Sodapop's voice was laced with pity.
"I know, I just wish he saw me that way. He's just perfect in my eyes. I'd do anything for him, I really think I'm in love with him."
"I know Y/n." Sodapop put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It hurts when the people we like don't see as that way. But you learn to move on."
I know he was just trying to help, but his words hurt. I didn't want to learn to move on. I just wanted Steve to love me.
I disregarded Soda's words and instead let my thoughts soon be consumed by Steve again. It felt like a virus in my head, it kept spreading and there was no stopping it. All I thought about was Steve, my best friend.
I was madly in love with him and there was no turning back from it now.
-
I walked into the Curtis house as if it were any normal day, being greeted by the boys. Steve stayed awfully quiet though, which made me feel uneasy.
I went over to Dallas, engaging in a discussion about something random. He was in the middle of telling me something illegal he did the other day when someone grabbed my shoulder.
I turned to see Steve looking down at me. My heartbeat sped up, but I acted casual.
"What's up, Randle?" I smirked at him but he didn't return the smile. My smile faltered.
"Can I talk to you outside?" He asked in a serious tone. My heart dropped.
"Oh, uh sure."
We made our way outside so now we were completely alone.
"Sodapop told me." He said, looking at me.
Oh my god.
"Told you what?" I asked, as if I didn't already know. I felt sick to my stomach.
"How you feel about me. How you think about me all the time."
My eyes fell to the ground. There was no use lying now.
"Yeah."
"You know that'd never happen, right? Me and you?" He questioned, causing me to look up.
"Why couldn't it ever happen?" I asked, my voice slightly wavering. He sighed, obviously struggling when it came to rejecting me.
"You're just like a little sister to me, ya know? I've never thought about you romantically like that. Besides... I dig Evie."
My heart broke.
"Oh, okay. Can we still be friends at least?" I asked, knowing our friendship would never be the same after this.
"I think it's best we just give each other some space." He answered, heading back for the door.
"Steve, wait-"
He slammed the door to the house behind him, ignoring me.
Tears welled up in my eyes.
"God, I'm so stupid!" I cried, running a hand through my hair. I turned away from the house, knowing Steve didn't want me there.
I walked home, feeling defeated.
I never talked to Steve Randle again after that.
(I didn't really like how this turned out but I hope you liked it!)
