Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 6)

118 My Love Shall Remain

When the soul was covered with his energy, Qiu Ling heaved a first sigh of relief. Now, he wouldn't carelessly hurt him. Even if some problem came up, he could immediately shield the soul with his own energy. Nothing would happen to Jing He. Not that that would make him risk anything.

He carefully used his senses to get a clearer image of the surface of Jing He's soul. Looking from this close the soul that first seemed intangible had an actual form. It was ellipsoid although the edges were feathered out and only the innermost core could be called a firm body.

Qiu Ling perused the outermost layer, hoping to find whatever inscription Jing He had written there. Unfortunately, he couldn't find anything. His beloved's soul was like shimmering, white fog that hadn't been disturbed by anyone. It was perfectly suspended inside his spiritual self with no spot being any different from the others.

Qiu Ling's brows drew together. In that case, he'd have to look deeper.

He inclined his head until his lips almost touched Jing Yi's skin. "Jing'er, this might hurt a bit now."

His beloved didn't answer but he was sure that he had heard him. He gave him a moment to prepare himself and then entered deeper into his soul.

Jing Yi's brows knitted together but he didn't actually feel pain. It was more of an uncomfortable feeling but even that lessened after a moment. He unwittingly opened his eyes and looked up at the sky. Was this because Qiu Ling was so careful? Or did it actually not hurt that much to have somebody look at your soul?

While he pondered the issue, Qiu Ling slowly sifted through Jing He's soul, looking out for any signs of change. He had seen Jing He's soul when he bound his own to him and even though he hadn't taken that much time, he still felt that he had a good grasp of how it was supposed to look. Well, with Jing He's soul being of just one color, it shouldn't be too hard to spot a difference anyway.

His expression darkened the further he searched though. Don't tell him Jing He had actually engraved the core of his soul? Didn't he know how dangerous that was?! He gritted his teeth but there was nothing he could do. Jing He had already done what he had done. It couldn't be changed anymore.

Qiu Ling closed in on the soul's core even more carefully, gently weaving his energy through the different layers of the soul, trying to touch it as seldom as possible. Who knew if part of it had fractured because of his use of the soul-engraving dagger? He couldn't let any injuries get even bigger just because he didn't pay attention.

He finally reached the core but only stared blankly for a moment. At first glance, it seemed normal. Only at a second glance did he notice the fine lines of the engraving.

Qiu Ling gulped and reached out but didn't touch the lines in the end. He couldn't help but stare at them though, following the flow of the strokes and taking in the words.

Part of your soul has become mine so henceforth I shall be yours. Whether the blue seas turn into mulberry fields or the High Heavens and deepest pits of hell change place, my love shall remain. For this life and all those following after, this soul shall only recognize one man.

"Jing He ..." Qiu Ling's gaze softened while his brows drew together in pain.

Each stroke of this engraving was done clearly as if Jing He had pushed the blade into his soul, shifted it and then pulled it out again all without the slightest hesitation. They didn't seem any different from the calligraphy he normally did with a brush. As if this ... was a matter of course to him. As if it didn't hurt at all.

Qiu Ling's hands trembled. It didn't hurt a dragon if they parted their soul since they had been changed to do so. But Jing He wasn't a dragon. He was a god. Their souls had a firm core, a sphere surrounding it and a layer of spiritual energy to protect both of it. Their souls were fragile and easily hurt and any small fracture could weaken them considerably.

How could Jing He have done this? Why would he go this far? There was no need to. Wouldn't he follow him in every one of his lives anyway? Wouldn't he make sure that Jing He would fall in love with him over and over again? There was no need for him to suffer like this.

He pulled Jing Yi closer and lowered his head, trying to calm his heart but he couldn't forget those rows of characters. Ah, just how many strokes had he used? How often had he put the blade to his soul? How often had he needed to suffer through that pain for him?

"Qiu Ling?" Jing Yi stirred in his arms.

His former lover's body was shaking like a leaf. It couldn't be that there was really something wrong with his soul, could it? He tried to look at his face but Qiu Ling had lowered his head too far for him to see anything.

He reached out and cupped Qiu Ling's cheek only for his fingers to become wet. Jing Yi froze. Looking at Qiu Ling's trembling figure ... "Qiu Ling, are you ... are you crying?" He himself couldn't believe what he was saying but there was no other explanation.

Qiu Ling finally lifted his head. His cheeks were indeed stained with tears, his eyes shimmering with sadness. "Jing He. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." He hugged Jing Yi to his chest, burying his head at his neck.

Yes, all this was his fault. If not for him courting him, if not for him demanding all of him, Jing He wouldn't have suffered so much. Letting something like this happen and only finding out much later ... He really wasn't a good lover. He really ... didn't deserve this much love from Jing He.

And still, he couldn't let go of him.