m.h.
"Has your mom made a decision on the London job offer yet?" I nonchalantly asked Riley as we walked into Topanga's.
"How can I pretend that this isn't happening if you keep bringing it up?"
"Stop pretending it isn't happening, Riles! Because when it does, then what?" I sighed. "So, any news? It's been almost a week and I'm getting a little impatient."
"No," she quietly said. "But it seems like we already know the answer anyway."
I sat down on the couch, chewing my lower lip.
"Maya, I can't leave you."
"Riles," I smiled at her. "I know this is hard for you-- it's just as hard for me, too-- but our lives are changing. We can't avoid that, even if we hate it. At some point, we were bound to go our separate ways. It just happens to be now."
"But it can't be now!" she complained. "Maybe in a few years, but not now. My life is nothing without you, Maya. I'm literally hopeless without you there to help me through it all."
"Riles, you have so much to offer," I told her. "You're such an amazing person. It's you who makes you who you are, not me. I'm just here for moral support."
"I can't," her voice croaked. "I'm gonna be miserable without you. You're the only person who's ever made me feel like I belong, Maya! When we move, all I'll think about is how much I miss you."
"If you move," I corrected.
"It's gonna happen, Peaches," she sighed. "She got such a great job offer, how could she turn it down?! Besides, my parents always wanted a change of scenery. I'm actually moving."
I shook my head. "We don't know for sure, okay?"
"Once they make a decision, what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen to us?"
"I don't know," I admitted. "But you'll always be my best friend, even if you're halfway across the world, okay?"
"What if you find another best friend?"
"I don't care, okay?" I rolled my eyes. "I'll strictly avoid contact with every person so you'll be my only friend! I'll never care about someone as much as I care about you, okay? Maybe that's selfish and wrong, but you'll always have my heart, whether you're next to me or 3,459 miles away."
She looked down at her lap and avoided my eyes. "3,459 miles away? They're seriously making us move 3,000 miles away from each other?!"
I reached over and held her hand. "Riley, please. Whatever happens, don't be mad at your parents for this, okay? They want the best for you and wouldn't move to London if it weren't the right thing. Just think about it, Riles! All the new friends you'll make, all the boys that'll be drooling over you, all-"
"I don't want new friends, Maya!" she said loudly, causing a few glances from people. "I want you, Farkle, Lucas, Smackle, and Zay! We can't break apart now. We just completed our friend group!"
"Riley, relax," I hushed her, squeezing her hand gently. "Everything is gonna be okay, alright?"
She relaxed her tense jaw and nodded. "Okay."
"Let's go to your house," I suggested, standing up. "We can watch a movie and try to enjoy our time instead of worrying over something that may or may not happen."
She stood up and grabbed my hand. We strolled to her house along the crowded sidewalks. She opened the door to the house, where everyone was sitting at the kitchen table just like the last time we were met with life-changing news.
"This is really happening," I murmured.
Riley nervously looked at me, and I reassuringly smiled.
"Girls," Mrs. Matthews called us over.
We sat down at the table, hand in hand once again.
"While you were out, we called all of our friends and family and got their opinions," she began. "New York is a marvelous city. There's so much to see and explore, but don't you think we've explored it enough?"
Riley sniffled and slowly nodded.
"Every chapter comes to an end," she slowly said. "But if you flip the page over, there's always a brand new adventure written. Why be stuck in an old chapter when there's so much more waiting for us?"
I felt tears running down my cheek but I remained quiet.
"I've decided to take the job offer."
Riley turned to me and cried her eyes out. I gave her a smile in hopes to comfort her, but the tears on my face showed how fake it was.
"I know this is hard," Mr. Matthews told all of us. Auggie was crying onto his shoulder. "It's hard for us, too. But we'd be missing an amazing opportunity, wouldn't we?"
Riley nodded and gave her mom a hug. "I'm proud of you, Mom, I really am. I know it's gonna suck for a while, and I might act like I completely hate you, but I could never. I know you're making the right decision for all of us. I love you always."
"I know, sweetie," she smiled. "I love you, too."
I looked down at my hands, unsure of what to say.
Of course, I'm glad that they took this opportunity. I want them to have the best time in London, but at the same time, my heart is broken.
It doesn't feel real, there's no way my best friend since forever is leaving.
But she is.
I felt a lump in my throat and I took a deep breath.
"Congratulations," I told Mrs. Matthews in a shaky voice. "Um...when are you guys leaving?"
"One month," Mr. Matthews replied.
My eyes widened. I quickly closed them because my teary eyes stung from the cold air.
"What?" Riley's voice croaked. "That's not enough time!"
"That's the most time they could give us," Mrs. Matthews told us. "I'm sorry, I've already asked for more, but this is all we'll get."
"I guess we should spend it wisely," I told Riley.
She nodded and dragged me to her room. We sat at the window, the window that's been there for us all the time. In a few months, someone else will have moved in and it won't be our spot anymore.
We won't have a spot at all, really.
"Just forget that you're leaving," I begged. "Let's do all the things we've wanted to do without thinking about the fact that you're going, please?"
"Yeah, that's a good idea," she nodded, sniffling. "But can we forget about it tomorrow? I'm not done crying yet."
I wiped the tears off her cheek and softly laughed. "Of course, whatever you want, honey."
"Okay," she smiled through her tears.
I looked at her gleamy eyes and realized that in a month, I'll never see them again. I'll never be the one who wipes them away. I'll never be there to comfort her and tell her that everything will be okay. I won't be there for her.
"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much," I muttered. "This can't be happening, why is this happening?"
She shrugged and rubbed her eyes again.
"Goodbye, Riley," I whispered, tears pouring out of my eyes.
"Maya, no," she sobbed. I scooted next to her and hugged her as tight as I could. I told her that everything would be okay and that I'll be with her always, physically or not. She pulled me closer and I've never felt more comfortable in someone else's arms.
She's the only person in the whole entire world who could make me feel safe.
Without her, the only thing I'll feel is constant misery.
