I was just reading my book whenever there is a knock on my door.
Oh did I survive my so called Grandmother and her lecturing me for apparently doing bullshit all the time? Well lucky me she's old, so she was already asleep whenever I got home but my mom wasn't, instead she was waiting for me and I saw it in her eyes she was ready to go off on me but the second she studied my face she thought I was sick so she told me to go to bed and rest so we could talk about everything tomorrow.
Anyway where was I? Oh yea thanks to my intelligence I unlocked the door so I wouldn't have to get up to open it for Zane.
"Thought if my company wouldn't help this might do it." He stands lays down next to me and hands me a Nutella Jar and a spoon. "You don't have to say anything. I know you love me and it's okay I mean so do I. Who could possibly resist my charm and looks?" I roll my eyes but can't hide a smile. "See that's much better. What can I say I'm a magician."
"You're an idiot."
"Oh so you do speak."
"Shut up."
"As she pleases." He turns Netflix on and we watch some episodes in silence but I know he's curious. He wants to know what happened today and he deserves to know at least a little bit about it but he doesn't say anything yet so I decide to break the silence.
"Thank you." I whisper so quietly I think he can't even hear me.
"Anytime Princess." But he does. "You better now?" Am I? I mean I don't want to go through all of this over and over again. My family basically rejects me but pretends everything is fine. Sometimes they actually manage to make me feel like we're just a normal family but once my grandmother comes over she manages to remind everyone of what a big mistake and failure I am and how she wishes I was never born in the first place and that hurts. So no I am not okay and I shake my head because I can't find the strength to answer him.
"Wanna talk about it?" Talking about problems does help, how do I know? I went to a psychologist for 1 year after what happened 3 years ago but eventually she just told me everything was okay and it was just an accident and reassured my parents I was mentally stable and more than fine. A healthy growing teenager just wanting to experience life and try things. Yea she was a bitch who never listened to a single thing I told her so I just pretended I was fine but the times I actually did tell her what was going on it was a relief to say it out loud. So maybe if I trust him enough and tell him what is going on he will do the same? What did my dad always tell me? Sometimes in life you have to make sacrifices to achieve certain things so maybe now it's my chance to gain his trust. I take a deep breath before I start.
"It's... ehm about Gigi."
"Your grandmother?"
"My moms mom yea." I pause but he doesn't push me any further. "Let's say she's not the nicest person on this planet. She despises my existence and she makes sure to let me feel that way. So she says certain things. Painful things. A lot of things which I would personally not quite consider as nice but she only says them whenever she catches me by myself so my parent won't notice. Not that they would care anyway. I guess she mostly doesn't want to make anyone suspicious especially not Pops. SO whenever they're around she pretends everything is fine and she's the best Grandma ever while she actually makes sure my life is hell on earth And she's been doing it ever since I was little I never understood it until 3 years ago which ended in a complete disaster but well that's a whole different story. I mean anyone can see it, she loves my siblings more than anything on this world but she hates me. She didn't show up for any of my birthdays whenever I was little so I just stopped celebrating them. The thing is I tried to tell my parents but it looks ridiculous. My word against hers and whenever my parents are around she pretends to like me so a couple years ago I tried talking to my mom about it but she just brushed it off telling me I should stop all of those lies that it's not nice to talk about my grandmother like that and that I'd know better than that. So yea they never believed me and I mean honestly it's so ridiculous. She's an old lady trash talking about a teenager, her granddaughter. It's a simple act of revenge for her I guess."
"Why are you still here then?"
"Isaac. He's everything I have and I am all he has." I take a deep breath. I never really told anyone about it but I have to admit the truth as painful it might be. My parents can be nice and they provide us everything and more than we need for living but their parenting skills aren't the best. At least not with Isaac and me. "My dad is obsessed with Nate, my mom with Gill and they sometimes forget about him. And I would never want him having to go through what I went through. He's too pure and I don't ever want to see him in pain. I love him too much for leaving him all by himself. Football is painful enough to watch." I crack a smile but it doesn't reach my eyes at all.
"That's fucked up."
"Yea it truly is."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Why is it that she likes all of your siblings but hates your guts?" That makes me laugh.
"Easy. I was an accident. My mom had me whenever she was 18. Gigi tried to convince her to have an abortion because an 18 year old pregnant daughter isn't what every mom wants. Especially not in her circles. All those rich people judge you as if they're the press and you're one of the Kardashians. Whatever you do is wrong and terrible. But having a child with 18 that causes about the same reactions Jordan received once she hooked up with Tristan. You just simply never do it. Anyway my mom for some mysterious reason decided to keep me, she somehow managed to attend college anyway. My dads parents took care of me and whenever I turned two I just went to full daycares followed by preschool and so on. Grammy took care of me in the evenings and yea she raised me. Gigi refused to even spare a glance at me but for some reason she forgave my parents but instead she put all the hate and anger on me."
"Sounds like a really nice person." His sarcasm makes me laugh again. "Didn't you say they live in Florida though?"
"Oh yea they usually do during the winter. And I was happy because this weekend we won't have a home game right. So that means no monster in the house for two entire weeks, but guess what? For some reason she decided to show up announced and is going to stay with us for an entire week. And the best part is I don't have any classes tomorrow or Friday. And we have a cut in practices because there is no game on so yea I'm stuck with the dragon in a dungeon."
"You know Princess there will always be people in your life who are not satisfied with you, your work or even your existence. Some words hurt more than others, just don't let them get too close to you. You're better than whatever those people try to tell you. Trust me with that one."
"Well telling your granddaughter that she ruined the family and is simply a pure disappointment and she should rather kill herself is kinda hard to ignore but I'll try next time. Tomorrow then." That leaves him speechless. "How do you even know about all of this? Speaking of experience?" Maybe that's my chance. I trusted you Zane but do you trust me?
"Life happens. How's your brother though?"
"Oh he's doing great. Middle school is working wonders on him he loves it. He has a lot of friends and then there's football. It sucks though that our parents don't support him as much as they used to. Before he played football it was just Baseball and Soccer. We used to go to every single game together as a family. Mom never missed out on a single game, dad sometimes depending on his schedule bur mom, never. But it changed. They didn't watch any of his football games yet and he's doing awesome I mean you saw him. It just makes me sad. He pretends that he's okay with it but I know he's not and I talked to mom about it but she always blames it on Nate. I'm just glad that all you guys came out. It meant a lot to me and him, I haven't seen him that happy in a long time, not even when the Lions beat the Seahawks." I decide not to pick on it. Whenever he's ready he'll hopefully talk to me about it.
"Jeez your life is truly dedicated to football isn't it?"
"Told you."
"Hey there's a game tomorrow night. You wanna come?"
"Sure what time is it on?"
"5:30. You could bring Isaac if he wants to come. If it's not too late."
"He'd like that yea. Thank you."
"Anytime princess." I put my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat while there's another episode on. Zane starts running his fingers through my hair and for a moment I just let myself imagine it would be like this everyday. But I know better. It will end sooner or later but I just hope not too soon because I wish it could be like this forever.
YOU ARE READING
It's complicated {completed}
RomanceSo we have a freshman who is obsessed with Nutella, Dylan O'Brien and Ramen noodles. She calls herself a geek with taste. Then we have a handsome jerk. Hockey, lots of girls and lots of parties. So what could possibly go wrong? Spoiler alert: ever...