It's complicated {completed}

45

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Love is hard. You give all of yours, your trust, your faith, yourself, your love yet all you get in return is hope. Hope that they won't let you know down, hope that they won't leave you. But they all will, eventually. Overcoming Pops death is hard but we're managing. Isaac mostly because of me and me simply because of Zane. I don't know where I'd be without him and I honestly don't even wanna know.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Zane asked me and I can hear the concern in his voice.
I am currently seated on my bed, all dressed and ready. I take a deep breath and finally manage to look him in the eye. A little smile forms on my lips. He's just beautiful, inside and out, I'm still overwhelmed at times that he's my boyfriend. I mean I get it he can be a jerk at times but he's my jerk.
"Watcha thinking about?"

"Hm?"

"I asked you if you're sure you wanna do this? But you kinda looked occupied there." He's still shirtless and yeah I guess I was kinda distracted. I mean it should be illegal to look this hot. These abs. Jeez.
"Princess?" I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. This asshole is amusing my current state of distraction. He's placing himself right between my legs and cups my face in his big hands. He bends down and slowly kissing me. His tongue exploring my mouth and gosh I could this forever. My hands end up in his hair pulling him even close to me. Just as he's about to pull me on the bed realization hits me. We have to leave so I push him off me.

"Yes. I am sure and ready unlike you. Bedsides he deserves it and I owe him." I get up and redo my hair. Stupid hormones. Ah. Now my cheeks are flustered and my lips are swollen. No compliance though right?

"Isaac's not coming?"

"Nah he's at Brady's house for the weekend. Anyway hurry up, I don't wanna be late baby."

"Hold up." He grabs a hoodie and puts his jersey on top. I take a deep breath, look into the mirror one last time before we take off.

The drive is quiet, not an awkward silence though, more like a comforting one. I'm trying to calm my nerves and not overthinking everything that is going to happen here soon. Zane understands and simply holds my hand, letting me know he's there for me. Zane parks my car in the all too familiar parking spot and gives my hand a final squeeze before we both get out. We're instantly surrounded in a wave of laughter, happy and excited people. We'll it's game day after all. Some greet me, telling me how grateful they are for football and that this is our final and actual chance to beat OSU this year. Well it's thanksgiving weekend, which also means Football season is coming to an end. It's our biggest and hardest game today but I'm not in the mood at all. My nerves are on an edge and I feel super anxious.
You can do it. For him.
I take a breath and slowly start relaxing.

"Ready?" I ask Zane.

"Whenever you are." So we both head inside where we're already being expected.

"Hi my little girl. I was already starting to get nervous, thought you might chicken out." Uncle Mel hugs me.

"Nah I owe him after all."

"I'm really proud of you. And he would be too. You know that right?"

"I just miss him so much."

"But he's right here with you. Watching over you and making sure you're alright. Don't live in grief. He wouldn't want you to. He'd tell you to get a drink and live on." Oh he so would.

"I know."

"It's okay to miss him. But we're all here in this together okay?" He kisses my cheek and gives me another tight hug. Where I might have lost my grandpa, uncle Mel has lost his best friend. His other half we'd always joked. They were so alike yet so different. They complemented each other.