Artemis (CanEm Fan-Fiction)

Chapter Thirty-Three

Sanem didn't know what inspired her courageousness. She was usually so timid and shy, her words 'make love to me' even surprised her. One second, she was letting Can woo her with his words and the next, she couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted all of him. She was ready. There was nothing stopping them anymore. There was no Fabri, no Emre or Aylin, no parents to stop them ... Sanem was ready and the moment felt right. 

The man before her, Can Divit, was the man who she knew would protect her during the thunderstorms. He was the man who she also envisioned starting a family and growing old with - there was nothing she wanted - or would ever want - more than him. 

"Sanem," Can's eyes blinked sporadically in disbelief. Ever since his little chat with Emre, Can had been exceptionally cautious around Sanem when it came to the physical element of their relationship. He didn't want to push her or rush anything when she wasn't ready but ... this was her, asking him; Can didn't know how to feel.  He was conflicted. Did he give into her? Or did he respectfully decline her advances, regardless of how hot her words made him feel. "No."

"What?" Can's monosyllabic response to her request felt like a stab to her heart. Her head snapped away from his chest and she pulled away suddenly, reclaiming her positioning on the armchair that had a few minutes prior been her sanctuary. "Do you ... do you not-" Sanem looked down at her lap, her insecurities arising instantly. Sanem knew she didn't look like Ceyda, Polen and the leggy models that always seemed to swarm around Can but she couldn't help but feel extra body-conscious as Can outright declined her advances to him. "Do you not ... want me?" 

"No, no, that's not it." Can panicked at the pure embarrassment in Sanem's voice. He reached for her again, this time clutching her arms and shaking her in order for his words to seep in. "Sanem, I've wanted you ever since I saw you in that yellow top and blue jeans, bad-mouthing me in the office-" 

Can thought back to the first day that he'd properly met Sanem. He'd overheard her insulting his absence in the office but even then, he'd been enthralled by her. Her voice was like honey and instead of chastising her, he'd just stopped and listened to her rant in amusement. It was only when her finger was in his face and he lent over next to her, when he realised how truly beautiful she was. There was an element of fear in her eyes but she was so innocent, so pure looking and he had been a goner, even then. Even when he'd been dating Polen, Sanem was at the forefront of his mind. 

"Then?" 

"I ..." Can didn't know how to put his apprehension into words that wouldn't outwardly bring her sexual assault back into conversation. He'd didn't trigger her in any shape or form. However, from Can's pregnant pause, Sanem had already pieced together the messy puzzle in her head. 

"This is about him, isn't it?" Sanem's heart was beating profoundly. She still hadn't really said his name out loud after all the time that had passed. She didn't like to dwell on what had happened that night, thinking about it just made her feel worse and Sanem didn't want to do that. She didn't want to let the past dictate her present. "Can, I'm not going to let him control my life-"

"I know that but, I can't help-" Can didn't know how to word it. He just wasn't sure if she was completely over everything that had happened or not. He needed to be certain whether Sanem's strong demeanor was just a facade or the truth. 

"You're protecting me when I don't need to be protected, Can." Sanem appreciated Can's worry but honestly, she hadn't thought of him - of Fabri - since the days following that dreaded night. She'd been so distracted by her life with Can that she hadn't needed to focus on the negativity that came with the scumbag who had violated her. Sanem's coping mechanism had been Can and he'd been the rock that she needed to overcome a hard time in her life. 

"But that's what I want to do, Sanem." Can didn't like the distance between them and he pulled her abruptly back onto his lap, her body landing against his with a loud oomph.  "I want to protect you and ... it killed me, kills me ... that I couldn't protect you that night-"

"But you didn't need to protect me. I got away, that's all the matters." 

"It shouldn't have happened to begin with!" Can sighed, the dreadful images of a traumatised Sanem flooding his head once again. "You should have never had to go through that-" 

"Is this what this is about?" Sanem brushed a loose strand that had slipped from Can's bun. "Are you reluctant about us being ... physical because you're scared I'm not ready?" 

"I'm scared that you're handling this all too well." Can replied in a tone that was quiet and unsure. "I just don't want you to resent this eventually, resent me-"

"Can Divit," This time it was Sanem who clutched onto him tightly, her hands fisting in his shirt as if he'd disappear any second. "I would never resent you, or us ... ever. You are my life, my love and I need you to understand that."

"I do, I do." Can never doubted Sanem's love for him. Even after his anger faded upon learning the truth about Sanem and Emre's conniving, Can had never doubted that Sanem's feelings for him had been true. The only thing that had hurt more than anything had been the fact that she'd lied to him and it hadn't taken him long to get over that fact because he needed her like plants needed water and oxygen. He would die without her. "But I don't want you to do something that you're not ready for." 

"But that's what I'm telling you, Can, I need you to trust me when I say ... I'm ready." Sanem's face was inches from Can's, her voice almost pleading and desperate, something she'd never imagined herself doing when it came to intimacy with Can. He was always such a touchy-feely kind of man that it seemed their roles had reversed three-sixty since coming up onto the mountains of Kartepe. 

"Are you sure?" It seemed Sanem was adamant and Can had to trust that she was okay with whatever unfolded between them from there onward. He desperately wanted to make to love her and with a glint of certainty in her eyes, Sanem just leaned forward and kissed him. 

This kiss was unlike any either of them had experienced before. It wasn't a quick peck or a romantic kiss from the movies; it was a kiss steeped in a passion that ignited a fire as strong as the one in the room. Sanem's legs slotted on either side of Can's thighs and her hands instinctively wove themselves through his hair. Her fingers combed through the bun before they got caught and without a second thought, she pulled the elastic band free. His brunette locks fell free from its restraints and framed his face in a way that Sanem had never seen before. It was sexy and dishevelled and Sanem couldn't help but pick up her pace as they kissed. With an urgency that was new to them both, Sanem tried to portray the promise of how real the primal desire inside her was. She tugged at is hair in ways that Can hadn't expected, the blood rushing straight to his core. 

As their breathing became laboured, they pulled apart and took shaky, shallow breathes. Sanem took the time to admire him properly now - Can Divit in his natural state. He was a paradox - a mix between a ferocious lion ready to ravish her and a cuddly teddy bear that wanted to cherish her. Unable to her contain herself anymore, Sanem held Can's head in her hands pulled in for yet another fiery kiss. Her hands worked their around his body, following the outlines of each crevasse, each line of his perfect physique. 

"Not here." Can mumbled hurriedly against the vigorous pace of their lips. He had suddenly remembered that they were still sat in front of the large window that provided a light glimpse into their cabin. Seizing both of her thighs in his hands, he hiked her body up against his and led them both blindly towards the bed.

He gently lay her down on her back before joining her, his body matching her form. Can's hands snaked over her curved body, exploring the uncharted territory. This time, there was no kissing. They stared deep into each other's eyes as they grew familiar in a way they had never done before. Can's eyes were full of wonder, care and love whilst Sanem's were full of curiosity and passion. No words were exchanged but an epic story was communicated. 

Can kissed softly up and down Sanem's neck, identifying the spots that made her breathless and antsy. Her body squirmed when he placed open-mouthed kisses right near her ear and he smirked to himself, making mental notes of how and when to tease her. As his skillful torture commenced, Sanem let out loud whimpers tightened her grip until she forced him to make his way back up to her tender and readily waiting lips. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Never."