Artemis (CanEm Fan-Fiction)

Chapter Forty-Eight

Pregnancy,  in its simplicity, is just a word, a noun. It's talked about frequently: children's books, television shows, little pamphlets at the doctor's office. Ever since Sanem could remember, she knew what pregnancy was. Even though her perceptions of it were completely innocent and naive when she was younger, she had always known that the swell of a belly, nausea and strange cravings coincided with having a baby.  As she grew older, she obviously knew how one got pregnant; however, she never imagined it would be her ... in a situation like the current.

As soon as she vocalised her suspicions about being pregnant to Leyla, Sanem felt her stomach sink. She wasn't sure if it was her endless fear of the prospect of having a baby out of wedlock with a man who had broken her heart or if it were actually the baby itself. 

"Wh-what?" Leyla didn't even know how to react to the bombshell her little sister had dropped on her. She knew Sanem had been sick recently but they had just logically pinned that on her roller-coaster of a relationship with Can, pregnancy had been the last thing either of them would have thought of. 

"I ... I don't know." Sanem groaned, letting her head hit the cold porcelain of her toilet seat cover. At this point in time, she didn't care about how she was hunched over the toilet, her mouth tarnished by the taste of her own vomit ... all Sanem could think of was how messy her life had gotten. "Leyla, what am I going to do?" 

A sob chocked its way out from the back of Sanem's throat and Leyla just held her tightly. As an older sister, a part of her wanted to slap Sanem across the face and shake her violently for getting herself in such a mess. Leyla was neither a prude nor a traditionalist, so finding out about her sister's sex life wasn't shocking ... she just wanted to scold her for being careless, for not using protection (or at least effective protection) But yet again, as an older sister, another part of Leyla wanted to console Sanem. She was heartbroken and fragile and it was clear that she just needed to be comforted. Leyla decided on the latter. 

"Shhh." Leyla rubbed at Sanem's hair before whispering to her softly. "What we are going to do is get you a pregnancy test. You said you think you're pregnant, right? You aren't certain. We'll deal with whatever card we're dealt with, okay?" Like the reliable one she was known for being, Leyla came up with a practical plan for the situation at hand. 

Sanem simply nodded but couldn't bring herself to get up off the bathroom floor. Although her pregnancy was not confirmed, she cradled her stomach and crawled into a little ball of self pity. She was angry at herself for letting things get like this ... She also hated herself because there was a tiny part of her that resented her potential future child already. Now, Sanem had always adored children but after recent events, she wasn't sure if she could mentally stomach the thought of having Can's baby when he'd wronged her so much. She had gone from irrevocably loving him from flinching at the thought of his affection. She wanted to push at his chest and demand explanations for breaking her like he had. She had been bullied and ridiculed by the likes of her work friends about their relationship whilst he'd been playing happy families with his ex-girlfriend. She'd gone to confide in him and he'd shattered her trust, to the point where everything in her relationship felt like a lie. 

And that was the reality of the situation - Sanem wasn't sure if she could trust Can anymore. 

Even if she did turn up at his house again, demanding the answers that she so desperately sought, there was nothing stopping him from lying to her face. Her perceptions of the truth were blurred and she didn't know what to believe; what was right, what was wrong ... none of it made sense in her mind anymore. 

"Abla-" As Leyla paced the length of the bathroom, trying to think of a discreet way to purchase a pregnancy test, Sanem spoke up quietly.  

"Yes?"  

"Don't tell him." Sanem didn't have to say his name and Leyla didn't need her to. After everything that Sanem had confessed earlier, Leyla did not blame her for not wanting Can around. "At least not yet." 

"Promise." Leyla kissed her sister's forehead and excused herself from everyone else under the pretense of needing some things for work. For the first time in forever, Leyla lied to both her parents and Osman and Ayhan and headed for the bus stop by herself. In order to prevent adding fuel to the fire that was her sister's scandalous love life in the mahalle, Leyla figured it was probably wise to buy the test from a random neighbourhood's pharmacy. 

As she ventured away from what was familiar, Leyla became increasingly petrified of what was to come if Sanem was pregnant. Their parents were old-fashioned and she knew they would not approve if Sanem confessed that she was pregnant out of wedlock. Their mother had a flare for the dramatics but this time, Leyla knew Mevekebe would mean it all. She was a terrifying woman and regardless of how much she loved her kids, Leyla knew her mother would seize Sanem by the hair and throw her out onto the streets as if she were week old meat. Nihat would be no different. He would be disappointed and angry and Leyla could hear his 'you aren't my daughter ... I didn't raise you like this' lecture already. 

For the sake of the Aydin family's wellbeing, Leyla was praying that Sanem wasn't pregnant. 

And, because of Leyla's efforts, within the space of an hour, Sanem was met with her all-important answer. After sitting on the toilet and peeing on a stick, she clenched her fists tightly as they waited, her nails digging deep into the palm of her palm. Within the confines of her chest, her heart throbbed erratically ... beating louder and louder as the seconds passed. It wasn't until Sanem glanced upward into the mirror that she realised she'd been biting her lip so hard that it had been bleeding. 

"I'm scared." Sanem's ghost of a voice murmured into the tense air. 

"I know but whatever happens, I will always be here for you." 

The two Aydin sisters held hands as they waited for the electronic test to determine Sanem's fate. The loading bars switched from pending to the definitive result and their breathes hitched tightly, their hands growing increasingly clammy. Sanem looked between the pregnancy test and her sister before bursting into heart-wrenching sobs. "Shhh, Sanem, shhh. It's okay, everything is going to be okay."

Just like she had the previous night, Leyla cradled her sister as she cried herself to sleep. Her hand moved rhythmically within Sanem's hair, tracing delicate patterns across her scalp until she could feel her breathing slow down significantly. As Leyla pulled away, she realised the physical toll the past few days had taken on Sanem. Her face was hollow, her eyes were covered with dark circles, her hair resembled a bird's nest - it was a sight that Leyla vowed she never wanted to see again. The Sanem she knew was always so full of energy and luster and she was determined to make Can Divit pay for having hurt her. The next morning, Leyla called in sick for Sanem again and went to work with her own agenda. 

Oblivious, on the other side of Istanbul, Can went about the monotony of his daily routine like it were any other weekday morning: shower, breakfast, work. And, just like always, his arrival did not go unmissed. Usually, he was greeted by all, their attention diverted to him; however, there was something about today that felt off. Can did his usual walk through the aisle of the desks, waving both his arms out to either side of the office but instead of the typical 'gunaydins' in response, he was met with murmured whispers and curious glances.  

"CeyCey, what's going on-" Before Can could ask why everybody was acting so strange, CeyCey sprinted past him with lightning speed. He'd been going so fast there were practically skid marks on the floors. Can just stared out at him in confusion before shaking his head; CeyCey always was a man who was hard to understand so, he moved onto one person he knew he could rely on to know what was going on in the agency. "Ah! Leyla! Please tell me you know what's going on in here today?"

But, much like CeyCey, Leyla ignored Mr. Can too. She had gone to work thinking she was going to square up to him and scold him for hurting her sister but even just looking at him made her exceptionally angry, so much so that she couldn't gather her thoughts coherently enough. She didn't know what to say to him ... she didn't know if anything she said could compare to what he had put her sister through. "Leyla!" As she tried to walk past him, Can took her by the wrist and halted her movements. Leyla was always eager to help, always smiling ... pretty much like her sister, so her hostility was unexpected. "Are you okay?"

"Stay away from my sister." Leyla snatched her arm back, her words quiet but threatening. 

"What?"

"Stay. Away. From. My. Sister."