falling for u ➳ joshua hong

s e v e n ☕️

haewon

"i can't believe that that guy that you liked called you ugly!" wonwoo said, as sojung, him, and i were walking down the halls in the morning. "he must have been stupid."

yep, wonwoo knows about the confession. but he's missing a BIG detail; the person who i actually confessed to. yes, i didn't tell him it was jisoo i was talking about in jiya's party. and it looks like i'm not telling him soon.

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all students cheered when the lunch bell rang. we were in the middle of learning the most boring topic in the whole school year. i wasn't classmates with sojung nor wonwoo in this class. i stood up and was about to go out, until a person held my wrist, stopping me. "jisoo?" i said as i turned around. i forgot i was his classmate.

"can i join you for lunch?" he asked. oh crap. what should i say? wouldn't it be awkward? would he remember? will my friends be fond of it? i don't know.

"u-uh... sure." it slipped out of my mouth. "thanks." he replied, and walked beside me to the cafeteria where sojung and wonwoo was.

when we came in the cafeteria, the first thing i saw was a shocked look on sojung's face, and a chill look on wonwoo's face, before it turned confused because of sojung's reaction.

"i hope i don't bother you." jisoo said.

"haewon, why is he here?" sojung asked. "hello? duh, i couldn't be rude and just say no." i whispered in her ear. "but it's him!" sojung whisper-shouted. i gave her a "well it's not like we can turn back time" look and sat down in beside wonwoo and jisoo sat beside sojung.

i don't know why, but everytime i talk to jisoo it always turns out fun and like we're besties or something. every once in a while, i would glance at sojung and she would have a judging face towards jisoo, while wonwoo wouldn't have a clue about anything.

are jisoo and i slowly becoming friends? no, that can't be. if i'm not careful and get too close, i might end up falling for him again, and he might hurt me again. i don't want that to happen... i'm sure we'll be nothing but acquaintances. yeah, not even friends.

"jisoo, why did you even decide to join us in the first place?" wonwoo asked, noticing sojung and i's uneasiness.

"both my friends are absent, the library is closed, and i wanted to get to know you guys. you seem pretty cool after seeing you in jiya's party." he said.

only sojung knows about how his mom and my mom were friends. i swear, wonwoo knows nothing about jisoo except that he's a new student and other obvious information.

after a while of talking, the bell rang and we all went to our classes.

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two weeks have passed, and it is the start of my second month in this school. at least every thrice a week jisoo and his friends would join us for lunch, and let me tell you, sojung and i weren't fond of it. wonwoo would just be that friendly person and actually socialize with jisoo and his friends, while sojung and i would just be there talking to one another.

today was one of the days jisoo and his friends, seungcheol and jeonghan, would join us for lunch.

"i'll just go get some water." jeonghan said. did i also mention that jisoo's friends are also new students? they were also a part of jisoo's friend squad back in 8th grade. so the whole lunch every time they would join, sojung and i would secretly give them death glares in hopes that they wouldn't recognize us.

why do i really want to avoid them? i don't want to avoid them, i want to avoid the bad memories and embarrassment they gave me back in grade school.

they made my life a living hell by bullying, teasing, embarrassing, and criticizing me back then, and i don't think i have the guts to trust them again. they crushed my dreams into tiny little pieces. they broke me and other people like me to the point where i started hurting myself.

i never told anyone about my self-harm, because i thought that they wouldn't ever get it. yes, not even sojung nor hyungwon. luckily, my life changed when sojung and i moved to bora high school.

sojung was always there for me, and she always cheered me up even though she doesn't know the biggest detail.

i'm scared that the more i get attached to jisoo, the more i'll get hurt when he does something bad to me. i'm scared that he's just using me to get me attached to him so he can hurt me or something...

suddenly, i woke up from my daydream due to sojung tapping my shoulder. "hey, lunch is over. see you later." she said and walked away, leaving me with jisoo. i'm guessing wonwoo, seungcheol, and jeonghan all went to their classes since they were all classmates.

"c'mon, haewon. you don't want to be late for mr. hwang's class." jisoo said, standing up from his seat as i did the same.

we walked out of the cafeteria and in the halls.

"haewon?" he said, as i replied with a hum. "what am i to you?"

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word count: 943 words