Desolation Row (Frerard)

All Your Fault.

"All of the things we're taking
Cause we are young and we're ashamed
Send us to perfect places
All of our heroes fading
Now I can't stand to be alone
Let's go to perfect places"

Warning: Major Character Death

***
This chapter will be told in Ray's perspective

I woke up in the hospital bed, my head pounding and my chest was aching painfully. The place smelled of medicine and old people.

"Ray."

I hadn't even noticed that Mikey was in the room. There were tears in his eyes and his black hair was a mess. His face was pale and it looked as though he hadn't slept in days. I haven't seen him in such a long time because of work and I didn't realize how much I missed him until now.

"Mikey, I-" my fiancee made me interrupt my sentence. He bit his lip, fighting back tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

"Why did you do this?" Mikey's face screwed up from frustration and utter sadness, "Was I not good enough for you? Is that why you had to fuck my brother?"

"Please..." I felt my face burning up and I knew that I was about to cry, "It was a mistake-"

"Oh, it was more than a mistake," Mikey growled, "Frank left town and dragged Gerard with him. Six more people died..."

"Oh my god, it's all my fault!" I sobbed into my hands, knowing that Frank could be hurting Gerard right now. Hurting somebody. Why didn't I have just kept my dick in my pants and didn't urge Gerard to have sex with me? Why am I such a fuck-up in life?

"My brother's kidnapped by his own husband," Mikey's voice trembled as he tried to keep his emotions in place, "And it's all because of you."

I kept myself silent. Agent Ross will probably deal with this situation. He's very efficient and doesn't let his emotions get in the way of what's really important. That's what I admire about him.

"I can't be with you anymore, Ray," Mikey whispered, looking at me dead in the eyes. "How can I trust you? You hurt not only me but my brother. I'm fearing for his life right now. None of this would've happened if it wasn't for you." Mikey broke down sobbing, tears streaming down his face.

***

When he left, I decided what should have been done a long time ago.

I got off the bed, my legs shaking as I walked over to the medicine cabinet. This is what everybody would've wanted. To be better off without me.

I opened the bottle of pills, pouring a generous amount in my palm. My breath hitched as I realized what I'm about to do.

The pills were hard to swallow but I got them in my system nonetheless. I walked over to my bed and I knew my life was ending.

My vision started to get blurry and everything was going dark. My heart monitor was beeping at a rapid pace but I paid no attention to that.

I closed my eyes and embraced the darkness that enveloped my vision.

Mikey would've wanted this.

***

I made myself cry writing this chapter.

The reason why I didn't update in a while was that I was too sad to show this chapter.

ily~ leloserette