Remind Me [WWE] [Shawn Michaels] {Book 2}

Chapter Five: Mommy, What's a Bitch?

|Kat|

November 12, 1998

Steph was cooing at the little bundle of joy I'd just given birth to minutes earlier. She was standing a small length away from my bed, rocking back and forth to try to get the child to stop wailing. It seemed to be in vain, but she didn't care. She was taking her new aunthood seriously.

Tears sprung up in my eyes instantly, watching them. I couldn't believe that was my baby she was holding. I was too young to have a baby. Too scared and alone.

My mother was seated by my bedside and squeezed my hand in support. "Do you want to see her?"

I shook my head, tears spilling everywhere. I was two seconds away from full sobs. I couldn't hold her.

"I-I can't. Mom, I can't. I might hurt her," I was so terrified of anything happening to this baby. I was sure I would mess it up. I wasn't ready to be a mom.

"No, you won't, honey," she attempted to comfort me. She patted my hand, but couldn't do much for me. "Do you want me to bring in Jolene?"

Kev, Joli, and some of our other friends had come to help me and the baby. I was so grateful for them.

I nodded. I needed Joli. She would know what to say. She always did.

My mother left and soon after, my best friend appeared. She looked over Steph's shoulder at the little girl before taking a seat next to me.

As soon as she sat down, the words started tumbling out. "Joli, I'm so scared. She--she deserves so much better. I don't know how to be a mom. She'd be better off without me."

"Do you hear that?" Joli asked, before going silent. All I heard was the sound of the baby still crying. "That's the sound of a little girl who needs her mother. She couldn't have asked for a better one, I promise. You'll do amazing, and we're all here to help you."

I nodded, swiping at tears to no avail. Breathing deeply seemed to be helping, but I could still feel the pure panic beating in my veins.

Joli motioned for Steph to hand her the baby. She awed over her for a moment before putting out her arms to give her over to me.

"I'll drop her," I protested.

"You're laying down. Here," she set the little girl softly into my arms.

As soon as she was transferred to me, both of us began to calm down. Looking down at her, I knew I could never hurt her, even un-intentionally.

"Hi, princess," I told her. That's what she was: my little princess. Seeing her gurgle brought a smile to my face.

It was me and this little one against the world.

Shawn should have been there, but he wasn't. I didn't waste any more tears over him; Joli would start her rants that I didn't have the strength for.

I was all this little princess had, so I had to be parent enough for both of us.

Not that I would be alone. I glanced up at Steph and Joli to see them beaming back at me. I would have them to back me up, along with the rest of my family and friends.

***

I had been looking forward to lunch with Steph, Joli, and Scottie since we planned it. I needed some time with my girls.

I also needed someone to talk to about the situation with Shawn. I still had no idea what to do, and Leslie, bless his heart, was no help. He would support whichever decision I made, with unfortunately did not help me make a decision.