Why me?

Deceptive love

He looked at me with a worried expression and said while scratching his head "Look, I'm really sorry I didn't mean to..."
What? What does he mean by he didn't mean to?
Was he Goddamn out of his mind?
We actually didn't just kissed, we had a makeout session you douchebag!!
I got up and turned away.
He stood started rubbing his hand and said "Forgive me, I know....I went too far and I'm really sorry"

"Here's a little gift for you" He takes out a small box and slowly pulls it open. OH MY FUCKING GOD! that's a eing I don't know if it's fake or not but is he going to propose me.
"No I'm not going to ask you to marry me it's just a small gift" he grins and then put the ring in my finger and kisses my hand softly.
I blushed but I was still infuriating.
The ring looked a little odd because the design seemed really old and had some weird letters all over it.

Do I really love him?

I faced him and said "It's getting late, I want to go home"
"Yes sure"
We rode home and I tried not to hold him.
We didn't talk much on our way back.
I got off and went inside my home without giving him any look.
My eyes were almost filled with tears which blurred my vision.

My grandma shouted while I walked upstairs "Don't you want to eat something?"
"I'm not hungry" I replied and slammed the door.

I plopped on my bed, took out my phone, plugged in my earbuds and started listening to Lana Del Ray's songs.

I don't remember falling asleep,
I felt pretty stressed.

I was in a café.
It was bustling with life.
People were talking around me.
Beatles song was being played.
I was sitting with two café latte on table.
I didn't remember any of this.
Luke appeared from nowhere and said "Listen, I really don't know what came over me"
I looked at him with furious eyes and said "What are you doing here? And where am I?"
"You're dreaming right now, and I thought it's a great opportunity to clear the misunderstanding"
Misunderstanding? My foot.
I wanted to throw the café latte at him.
I mean why the hell doesn't he admits that he has feelings for me?
"Okay fine I won't sleep, thanks to you"
I forced a fake smile and woke up.
I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my phone to check the time.

It was 4:15 am.
Where is Albert?
I hadn't seen him since morning.
I logged into instagram, there were few follow requests.
I tapped and found out that Luke had sent me one too
I don't know what came over me but I started stalking his profile for a while.
Oh God he looked so hot without his shirt...
I swiped and there was another picture of him in swimming pool.
I told myself "He is way out of your league, so don't even think about him"

I discovered more of his pictures and I found out many beautiful girls around him in many of his pictures.
Aahh...see? Why the fuck he would care for such an ugly duckling like me?
I was jealous and I slammed my phone on table.
It was 5 am.
I wasn't feeling sleepy.
I laid and rolled on bed for sometime.
Finally, I got up and started sketching the cliff.
As I did, the flashbacks played inside my mind.
My cheeks turned red again.

I kept telling myself not to think.
Somehow I dozed off for a while....

The alarm clock buzzed insistently and I reached over to slap the snooze button, squinting at the iridescent hands.

I woke up after a few minutes.
I rubbed my eyes and looked at the wall blankly for a while.
I stood up and went to freshen up myself.
I looked myself in the mirror with bloodshot eyes, they looked beady and bulgy.
Lack of sleep had gifted me black circles and a little dark bag underneath them.
My lips looked dry and fragile.
There was no smile today on my face.
My hair looked messy as a crow's nest.
I looked ugly and I didn't wanted to see myself like this.
So I gathered up courage and tried to look normal as much as possible.

I told Albert everything on my way to school.
He was furious.
His eyes were filled with rage.
I mean for once I thought he would turn into some rampage mode or something. He did punched the lockers. But he calmed down after I hugged him tightly.
He kept on cursing him.
He held my hand and said "I will always protect you".
I exhaled forcefully through my pursed lips and smiled.
He kissed my forehead and we went inside the classroom together.
Luke was crowded with girls.
He must be triffling around with their feelings again as usual.
I ignored him and sat at my desk.

This kept on for few weeks.
I avoided him whenever he tried to approach me.
He apologised me through letters and sending gifts.
But I couldn't accept the fact that he didn't had any feelings for me like I did.
I felt miserable and my heart was filled with anguish.
I couldn't forgive him even if I wanted to.
Everything was getting normal, atleast that's what I thought when he remained absent for weeks.
I didn't see him at all.
This made me feel alot calm and normal.

But just as I was about to enjoy my life and move ahead from this whole Luke incident.
Life threw a RDX at me! Great!

It was evening and I was lying on bed and texting to Sydney.
Suddenly, an unknown message popped up on my screen and it read "Could you please come to the Stockhart Riverside Stonebridge? We need to talk ASAP!!! Please help!!!"
I read it but didn't reply him back.

I plugged in my earbuds and started listening to EDM songs.
A little later my phone buzzed continuously.

I felt irritated and I picked up the call.
Luke's charming voice hit my ears like symphonies in an orchestra.
"Hey, Eva please come to the mention place, it's really important"
My heart skipped a beat, but somehow I managed to reply him with a cold hearted sentence-
"Sorry, I'm busy"
"Just do a favour on me for one last time...I...I... beg you"
His words felt genuinely concerned about something.
I was curious, why suddenly he had to call me up out of the blue and throw my heart and mind into a puzzling knots of yarns which will never separate.
Finally I uttered "Okay, but after this you won't bother me again okay?"
"Sure, I won't"
Then I got up and reached the mention place.
I didn't do any make up or dolled myself up because I knew it won't change anything.
If I'm ugly I must accept this.
I don't care what others will think but I will behave and dress like the way I want.
When I glanced around the place, It looked different.....it actually looked beautiful.
I was lost in my own thoughts so much that I didn't notice the river and the bridge at all.