The Devil Within (yujae)

1

Yuta rolled over and shut off his alarm. He laid in bed just staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

Another day. Another fucking day. Maybe today will be different. Doubtful. But maybe. It was Friday after all.

He shoved the blanket off and slowly made his way to the bathroom. He started brushing his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. He honestly never thought himself repulsive or ugly per se, but never good looking or handsome either. Just....tolerable. He was average if he described himself to anyone. Average height. Average weight. Although if you asked his friend Ten he was too thin. The two things he actually liked about himself were his brown eyes and hair (Cherry Bomb). He finished brushing his teeth and washing his face and walked back into his room hunting for clothes to wear to work.

Why do I even look? I wear the same fucking thing every day.

This was a running joke to Yuta. Every day he would try to decide what to wear when in reality, he only owned different variations of the same thing.

Skinny Jeans - Black. Some while rips.

Black Shirts - Long Sleeved. Short Sleeved.

Plaid Shirts - Different colors but all dark.

Black Socks. Black Shoes.

He got dressed and ran his fingers through his hair, not caring how it looked. Walking into the kitchen he grabbed his water bottle and an apple that he could eat on his way to work. His apartment was only a few blocks away from the bookstore. Grabbing his phone and keys he headed out the door.

As he walked to work listening to his music, he let his mind wander like usual.

Other people seem so happy. I wish I could feel that too. But that's impossible. I'm too much of a fuck up to feel something like happiness. I'm too screwed up for someone to want to love or be with. I don't deserve love. I wouldn't be surprised if someone just wanted to use and abuse me. It's probably what I deserve. No, it IS what I deserve.

Even though the weather relatively nice today it just gave Yuta a headache. Being in the sun with all the happy people on the streets. It was not Yuta's favorite thing. He was more of a...London type of person. Dreary. Rain. Dark. Clouds. Storms. Just like my soul.

He realized he was in front of his usual coffee shop and walked in to grab his morning cup. He checked his watch to make sure he still had time to get to work. 15 minutes. Plenty of time. "Morning Ten. The usual please." Yuta smiled at the young man behind the counter. Ten was as close to a friend as Yuta has ever had. He met him 3 years ago when he opened his coffee shop. "Morning Yuta Hyung! Give me just a minute and I will bring it over to you."

Yuta had lived in Korea for 5 years now but he was still getting used to the whole Hyung, politeness, age culture. It was so different from Japan. Thankfully it had all been good changed so far.

"Here you go hyung!" Ten placed the cup of coffee in front of Yuta. "I am going to come by the shop today. Can you help me look for a book? I couldn't find it online anywhere." Ten sat down across of Yuta looking tired. "Of course. I'm closing tonight so just come in whenever. Are you feeling okay Ten? You look worn out. Ten yawned "Just tired. I have been looking up new recipes and things I might want to try. I'm fine. Thanks for asking though." Ten smiled and it made Yuta happy. Happy? Is that what this is? "Well if you need any help please let me know, Okay?" Yuta didn't want Ten overworking himself. He had seen him do it in the past and it wasn't good. "Promise hyung. I better get back. I will see you later." And with that Ten was gone. I wish I could love someone like that. I wish someone like that could love me back.

Yuta shook his head and headed out the door, waving at Ten.

This is my first time writing. Feedback would be greatly appreciated! 

My chapters are between 400-700 words it seems...is that okay or are they too short? 

Thank you 

//T