The Heart Wants What It Wants

7

The trip to Edinburgh was so wonderful she hadn't wanted to come home.

She'd enjoyed how close they'd grown and had loved sleeping next to him each night, enjoying different versions of what he did the first night.

Some nights they were completely wiped out from a day of running around and had simply gone to sleep, but other nights she'd taken her turn at learning what he responded to. She'd been as turned on by teasing and pleasing him as she'd been by his intuitiveness in pleasing her.

They'd grown so close over the next few days that she wondered how things could ever go back to the way they were before. 

When they'd boarded the train Sunday morning to return to London, she wasn't sure about moving to Edinburgh permanently, but she very much wanted to return again soon.  On the way home, they talked about many things, including her job and her apartment. He'd offered for her to stay with him, whether for one or two nights a week or every night.

She'd informed him that she could hardly move in with him after a little over a week together, that they didn't know each other well enough to make that step.

He'd lightly disagreed but had let it go for the time being.

That evening, after picking up the car, he'd reluctantly taken her home.  He'd tried very hard to convince her that it wasn't necessary, that she could stay with him.

He'd even tried to get her to call her boss in the morning and inform them she wasn't coming back. She reminded him that she had to give notice when she did quit, and only once she'd found another job.

It had seemed as though she'd been in a fantasy world for a while and now it was time to snap out of it and go back to real life.  She didn't want to, but the alternative was a bit scary.

Moving in with him would've meant giving him all of her trust and hoping for the best from him. Trust was something she had an issue with, and though it wasn't fair to Draco, what they had together terrified her, deep down.

It had seemed perfect so far and wonderful, but it was undeniably intense and fast-moving.

It hadn't been easy saying goodnight, especially seeing how melancholy he looked. She knew exactly how he felt, only he was ready and she wasn't.

After one week of trying to live apart, she was forced to admit that she hated it too and that she missed him. She began asking him to stay over on weeknights and she agreed to stay with him on the weekend.

To her, it seemed to be a perfect arrangement, never moving in with him but still having him around. Though she was effectively sticking her head in the sand with her issues of trust, she couldn't live without him.

As the weeks passed and Christmas neared it seemed that their living out of two apartments was starting to get old, but they pushed through it. He continued to ask her to move in and tried to convince her she didn't have to work. When that didn't work he pointed out that there were plenty of jobs in his neighborhood.

He owned his place and she didn't, so moving to his place was the sensible move and she knew it.

It all came to a head on a usual Friday night trip through rush-hour traffic from her apartment back to his, a two-hour round trip battle for him.

He'd never complained but she was growing tired of it herself so she knew he wasn't enjoying it. It was everyone trying to get out of the city or home on a Friday evening, and all at the same time.

"This is absolute fucking madness," she complained as they'd been at a standstill for a couple of minutes.

"I agree, complete shit."