I’m trying too hard,
I’m forcing my hurt on you,
But you still can’t accept
That it’s you who is shredding my insides,
Drowning my words in acid,
Snatching my apologies and burning them.
You took my smiles,
You took my poems,
You took my comfort, and set it alight,
Not with the flames of passion, but
With dark fire of apathy.
I wish I could dissipate,
And disintegrate,
And my lungs could turn to tar,
And my air could turn to dust
Just so you could see
How I’m feeling,
What your glares and
Empty words do to me.
You say you’re trying,
But later you laugh,
And your apology and
Sincerity becomes a joke to me.
I’m trying.
Are you trying?
I’m crying.
Are you really crying?
I’m never lying, never faking, never disingenuous.
Never hiding, never breaking, never duplicitous.
You always take my angel words
And twist them like a
Choker necklace
Which you weave your poison into
And strangle me with.
Purple stripes on my neck
Like a delicate chain,
Or a rusted prison shackle,
Corroded on my skin.
Go ahead and stifle me.
I’ll embrace it.
Embrace the burn and
Inhale the sharp words laced with venom of the teeth.
As long as that’s what it takes for you to believe me.
Believe that I’m sorry,
I'm trying,
And I'm listening.
I never lied, always crawled, always tried.
I’ll listen, I’ll hold my tears in a box of lead and ethanol.
Just please, please tell the truth
And follow my map
Of a spiderweb of dewy spit.
I hate trying,
But I promise I’ll carry on
If it kills me.
