UGLY ✔

16: The Demons That Haunt Me

Sinn's POV:

I squinted as the glaringly bright light kissed my eyelids. As I yawned and stretched out, my hand came in contact with a sleeping figure. I slowly opened my eyes and through my blurry vision I saw a naked girl peacefully sleeping beside me. And then the events of last night came stumbling upon me.

Last night, I slept with Sarah, again. I cheated on Kia, which shouldn't have happened.

We also planned to watch meteor shower today.

I got up from the bed in a lightning speed and dressed myself up. I felt guilty, more than I thought I would ever feel. I felt helpless. I had a bet with my 'friends', true, but that doesn't necessarily imply that I would have to break that girl. She didn't cause any harm to me.

Mentally scolding myself for being an irrational and impulsive prick, I left Sarah's dormitory. This shouldn't have happened, not now. At least until the bet ends.

At least, until you have Kiara.

I never thought I would have my first ever real relationship like this. I don't know a shit about commitment and stuff. But I guess it's safe to say that I'm learning, slowly and very defectively , but still I'm somewhat doing a progress.

Maybe I am changing for good? Who knows......

Maybe, when this 'game' is done and over with, I'll be a new person. I will be able to fight my demons, that chase me, mock me and rip my soul apart.

I stood outside her dorm, waiting for her arrival. We had grand plans for today. Even though it made me irritated, I agreed upon our plan. Subconsciously, it's a makeup for the pain I was going to cause her. I think I was somewhat trying to convince myself that cheating on her and playing games with her was okay.

But I also knew that, it was not okay. It could never be.

My mind's jumbled up lately and I don't know what to do with these new found feelings. A harsh coughing sound snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Sinn?" Kiara's timid voice caused me to look at her. I noticed the sharp edge in her voice. Somehow, that worried me.

"Are you sick? Your voice is broken," I enquired. I hoped that she didn't hear the unintentional desperation lacing my voice.

"I guess I am," she smiled sheepishly, "I was so excited last night, so, I stayed up and watched the stars on the roof top."

I couldn't help but smile at her. She was cute. Odd looking, but cute anyway, "You could've called me. I would've accompanied you."

"Um- I did call you," she scratched her head like a lost kid, "but your phone was switched off. I thought you were busy, so I didn't try anymore."

The guilt that was forgotten until now hit me with its prevalence. I almost forgot that I was 'busy' last night. So much so that I couldn't accompany her.

"Are you feeling bad for not being here? If so, then please don't." Kiara's query brought me out of my messed up thoughts. I shook my head and put on a convincing smile. She smiled back and took my hand in hers.

We didn't talk much throughout our ride to the nearest Papa John's. We planned on having breakfast there and then, we were supposed to drive to the meteor shower spot. It would be afternoon till we reach there. We will walk and talk a bit until the event starts. The website I looked up informed me that the meteor shower was supposed to start at somewhere between 8 PM to 9 PM.

"So, what's your favorite pizza topping?" Kiara asked, looking at me curiosly.

I stared at her, being at a loss for words. What was my favorite topping? I didn't have a particular, except the ones that my mama made. I remembered her making them every Sunday until that fateful day.