UGLY ✔

23: Karma

Sinn's POV:

My head hurt.

Scratch that, every single part of my body hurt.

How long had I been here anyway?

An hour? Two hours? Three or more perhaps?

Who cared though?

I took another gulp of the tequila, then another, then another as I drowned my miseries into it.

And I had absolutely no plans to stop until I was completely wasted, too inebriated to remember anything.

Too drunk to remember her.

They said money, alcohol and women- all were intoxications. Toxic intoxications. If you were to become addicted, you wouldn't go back. It was like a whirlpool, once in and can't go out.

The sour taste of the liquid burned my throat, making it's way to my stomach and having little impact on my aching heart.

I wanted to destroy anything and everything in my sight, I wanted to destroy me. I wanted to hurt me. I wanted myself to suffer, for being such an asshole. I wanted to punch myself repeatedly, for being the reason of her tears.

Monster.

I remember, that was her last word and probably the final word I would ever hear from her.

Monster.

I heard a faint violin play at from somewhere distant. I couldn't guess the song, but it sounded really.....pitiful. I concentrated on the play. The harmonization of the instrumental play and the atmosphere was shocking. The violinist was delivering a message through her play.

It was as if the violin was trying to tell me a story and it was successful at it. It was as if the very instrument was crying. An empty feeling came over me and I wanted to cry all on a sudden. The music was an assault to my ears, making my whole body shiver and stabbing right into the core of my very heart.

I clasped hands on my ears. No! I don't want to listen anymore!

Stop it!

My eyes shut on it's own accord as black dots began covering my vision. The music was getting stronger and stronger, rendering blows after blows onto my heart. That play seemed to mock me, taunt me, assault me. My headache grew as the time went and I clutched my head tightly.

Stop it! Please!

The violinist kept torturing the instrument with her skilled hands, but little did she know her beautiful yet torturous music was the reason for another person's agony. That music only fueled the fire of guilt and anguish that was consuming me alive. I felt so empty, so lonesome....so blank. I was now like a statue made of flesh and bones.

The music was getting too much for me. I gripped the tequila glass harder as I prayed for this pain to disappear. I felt like my heart was going to come out of ribcage anytime and my head hurt like a bitch. I couldn't take it anymore...

"STOP IT!" I screamed with all my might, "It hurts! Please!"

I heard a faint noise of glass cracking and the next moment everything went silent. I was gasping for air, I just couldn't breathe.... Everything was so blank.... Why did I feel light-headed?

"Somebody call his relatives...."

"He is having a panick attack....."

"Help him!"

Help me?

I wanted to laugh.

The one and only person who could help me was gone and gone forever...... That too was because of my own stupidity, my redemption was impossible. I shut my eyes as the darkness began to cover my very being.