Don't worry about me// Calum Hood

Chapter 10

"No! No! No! You...... you just can't" I couldn't hold back my tears any longer.

"I can't love you? You don't get to decide what I can and what I can't feel!" He kept combing back his hair in frustration.

"I just can't let you feel that way!" I was so angry at myself for letting myself cry in front of him.

His eyes bulged out in amazement. "You can't what? Please Blue can't you hear what you're saying? What you're saying is nearly impossible! It's not easy to just forget my feelings for you; now I'm in deep and honestly I don't ever not want to feel this way!"

"You don't know what you're saying! maybe if you knew who I was...." I fell silent. I couldn't finish my sentence because I had said way too much. I had now set myself up for an endless interrogation.

"What is it that I don't know? Do you really think that whatever you have to say will make me love you any less? Let me tell you right now that I find that hard to believe!"

I didn't know what to say so I did what any sane person would do. I ran. I know that was a coward move on my behalf, but I couldn't bare standing there for another second. I ran to the elevator and prayed that it would open up quick.

Miraculously, it opened. I stepped inside and pressed the button. I could see Calum racing to catch up to me, but the door closed completely as he was about to enter.

I started bawling my eyes out. I hated to feel this way. Why did I have to ruin the only good thing in my life?

*******

It had been a week since I last confronted Calum and all I did was stayed curled up in ball on the bed under the covers. Pathetic really. I forced myself to stay in my hotel room and leave only when necessary. I didn't want to open up old wounds and face reality for that matter. If I talked to him I would be forced to tell him what made me act like this. I couldn't let that happen because that scared me.

Someone was knocking at my door and they did not sound very pleased. I opened the door to find Calum staring back at me. I was in shock. I just stood there. Calum cleared his throat. "So are you going to let me in or am I going to talk to you outside?" I could see him trying so hard to fight back a smile.

I finally got to my senses and said, "I think it's time I tell you what's been going on. I need to tell you why I can't let you feel the way you do" I motioned for him to come in. "-but before I start you have to promise me one thing." I bit my lip because I was amazed as to where I got the balls to be so start forward.

He gave me a confused look. "What?"

I looked him dead in the eye. "You have to promise me that after I'm done telling you, you'll leave."

"But.."

"No buts. If you can't accept it than I guess you'll have to leave."

He held my hands and gave them a light squeeze. "Okay, I promise."

"Okay" I took a deep breath as a began. "It all started four years ago. I had recently moved into town, so I didn't know anyone. I was so lonely and when I went to school I got bullied a lot. There was these group of girls who would tease me because I didn't look or dress the way they did, but one day these girls came and defended me. I instantly became friends with them because they were the only ones that had actually been nice to me. They were fairly known in school and then there was me. I honestly always preferred being under the radar.

Anyways time went by and one of my friends had set me up on a blind date. At first, I hesitated because I couldn't bare the idea of not knowing what to expect. When I got there I realized it was one of the most popular guys from school, Matt. Surely, I thought it was a joke, but I was so naïve that I didn't really care at that point. We got to know each other and he didn't seem like the typical jock that's a dick to everyone. After that I thought this was fun and that we could just forget this all happened, but the next day I went to school he kept asking for me. It was all so confusing.