Dead End

CHAPTER 5

15th of November 2016 

Finn had heard about it on the news. He was in his darkly lit dorm room, with his computer blasting and ready made tomato soup in the microwave. It didn't seem that influential at the time. Chicago always had a high crime rate, so hearing another irrelevant murder had no importance. However what did cause him confusion was hearing it was a girl, he wasn't being sexist, it's just the girl was a couple years younger than him; which never happened. Furthermore the woman on the TV had a facial features and posture that was the complete opposite of what the rest of her actions portrayed.

She was wearing a white linen dress, one that could've come out of a nineteenth century drama and along with this she had dainty jewellery scattered around her hands, neck and wrist. Her fingers held thin rings, which were either layered or singled alone. Finn noticed that no marriage or engagement ring was on her fragile fingers.

So love hadn't caused her to do it, Finn thought quickly but then logically, unless she had a boyfriend. Finn's mind wandered to distaste to the idea.

'Everyone had boyfriends or girlfriends, even fucking mass murders can seem to find love' Finn whispered bluntly. 'Yet me...' this was in a light tone, part of it sounded like mockery, but most of it sounded doubtful.

His laptop still illuminated his face, as he watched the girl's sour face look directly in the camera. She scowled and Finn felt freckles still sticking out of his skin like they were his insecurities, and pale always anxiety based hands placed on the keyboard. An email popped up, and his face lit up with blue at the notification.

'Mr Finn Cashen,

We are pleased to announce your place in Chicago Police Department as an Detective. You'll be working in the centre Chicago, and will be covering cases situating around murder and general crime. You'll be starting September 1st.

We hope to see you then,

Phil Lioske.

Reading it over and over again, Finn gained a heavy amount of pride. Finn freaking Cashen, was starting a job. Although it was in a tough area and had heavy workload he couldn't have wanted anything more. He had took his finals a couple months ago, and it was now summer; everyone else had been travelling and been doing stuff that costed way too much money which did not appeal to Finn. So instead of taking a gap year for the 'experience' - Finn thought it was just college students trying to run away from their problems- he had applied to several jobs. However in his mind he wanted the Chicago PD job so bad, he was scared he'd have to work in a bad area like Pullman, but he was placed in the centre. It did reek with an excessive amount of crime but still it was the most tolerable and the easiest commute.

Everything Finn did didn't depend on what would make him happiest, it was what was most logical. That's why he was such a good detective. No sympathy, no feelings getting in the way, no nothing; just logic.

This prevented him from connecting with people, it was like a brick wall running through a middle of a house. Finn was the house, and the wall was fundamental to him, but it sure as hell got in the way.

He shut the laptop off and no light was left in the room, besides from the occasional flicker of street light through his curtains. He stared up at the ceiling and followed the barely visible crack until it stopped when it reached the door. Then he just stared, the elated feeling was still there from his acceptance but at the same time there was still that lingering feeling he always had. For years he wondered what it was, because when he was a teenager it really bugged him, and at the end of high-school he concluded it was just loneliness. No matter how many people he was around it was like an imaginary friend, something that was always there, but also something he could fall back on for comfort.

That's the main reason he's never truly experienced life, he's too scared to.