Dead End

CHAPTER 26

31st of December

Thea and Violet were currently driving to Finn's party. Thea was already drunk, and Violet noticed that immediately. The way Thea started to hang off of Violet, not in a nuisance sort of way, in a way that made Violet feel more comfortable that she thought it should. Thea was staring out the window now though, separated by the seats. Violet was driving, she was the designated driver for tonight, partly because she didn't want to leave Thea alone the way she was, and partly because she could get called into work at any point. It was like she was a doctor, but Violet could never see herself equally as courageous as that. She was just Violet, and she was content with that. She was also content with Thea sitting next to her, laughing then looking out the window, uttering a few words to start a conversation, she was very content with that. Far too content than she would've liked.

'Are you nervous?' Violet asked, and Thea leaned her head back into the back of her seat, tilting her head up.

'About what?' Thea responded with a question and tensed and Violet furrowed her brows.

'About Finn.' Violet watched as Thea's posture relaxed again. She didn't know what else Thea would be nervous about, if it was Violet, she would be freaking out about seeing Finn. But Thea just relaxed, and Violet started to wonder what had caused her body to turn so strict in the first place.

'That doesn't matter, it'll pass.' Thea said this almost like she was in a daze, like she was completely unfazed at the argument that her and Finn had had. Thea had told Violet the whole argument a couple days prior, and even then, when Thea's response was expected to be angry and burning, she just explained it numbly, then went back to doing her nails. Violet remembers it so well she still can see how Thea just talked without enthusiasm. She remembers everything that Thea does far too well, even if it' days after she's done it.

'You don't seem stressed out,' Violet paused, then hesitantly added 'about that I mean.' Thea quirked a brow up.

'I'm not.' Thea said, then turned her whole body towards Violet, shifting in her seat awkwardly because she had the seat belt on.

'Well, you seem stressed about something.' Violet could feel the heat travel from her back into her neck, then spreading around her face. She wasn't even insinuating anything, even though to her it felt like she was insinuating everything. Everything that Violet had kept to herself, and for good reason too. But now, with just a few words, it was like she had released something she knew she shouldn't have, she knew that once she started then she wouldn't be able to stop herself. Violet knew herself. Once she even got a taste of what it was like to be with Thea, like that, she wouldn't have been able to stop.

'I mean, I guess.' Thea wasn't as red or anxiety ridden as Violet was, but Violet noticed how she started pulling at her sleeves, Violet noticed everything.

'What's making you stressed then?' Violet didn't know if Thea even knew the boundaries that Violet was crossing. To Violet it didn't feel like she was crossing them timidly, it felt like she was falling into them headfirst. It killed her. But she didn't want to stop, or she didn't know how to stop, it was like she had somehow been consumed by Thea. The way she looked at her when Violet asked, when her eyebrow furrowed. Violet had started to realise she wanted to trail kisses along that eyebrow.

'I don't know, it's killing me.' Thea said this softy, but just at her actions, Violet knew that Thea knew exactly what was killing her. Violet prayed that it was the same thing that was killing her too. But Thea didn't make any move to suddenly burst the truth, or what Violet wanted to be the truth, but Violet understood. Violet still didn't know either. She hated not knowing, the feeling was making her feel so sicker.