Dead End

CHAPTER 24

29th of December 

Thea felt incredibly awkward right now. Not in the awkward that everyone feels, the one where you say something that you shouldn't, or you do something embarrassing. She was just standing there. Yet, by just standing still, she felt more awkward and stiff than ever. It was like all of her muscles had contacted all at one time, and she was left frozen in place.

Finn had just walked into her house, they hadn't spoke in what felt like weeks, when really it was just a mere five days.

Finn had just walked into her house and kissed Sofia. Kissed her, just in front of Thea. She felt a hurt in her chest, which she didn't want to identify as jealousy, but she knew it probably was. She missed him, and that she didn't want to identify that either. Finn turned, so his back was away from Thea and followed Sofia into the kitchen.

Thea was stood on the stairs, looking - to put it in the lightest way - like death. She hadn't slept the last two days, she couldn't stop thinking about Violet. She remembers all their conversations like they were from a different part of her. The worst thing was, Thea liked that part. She liked herself when she was around Violet because it was herself, she wasn't trying to understand the Bobby case, she wasn't trying to understand her sisters passive aggressive words, she didn't need to try and understand anything. She just watched Violet smile and laugh, and at the same time, feel her heart pull. She had also been left wearing sweatpants and a really ugly t-shirt she got in a fun room from high-school the last two days, burying herself in books and writing. Well trying to write was a better way to put it, she hadn't really pinpointed what she wanted to write about, all she knew is that she wanted to write, and that left her itching to get words out that she didn't even know yet.

'So how's the case?' Sofia asked, and Thea could hear Finn sigh just from the stairs. She wondered if Sofia was talking about the Bobby case, but she didn't want to give herself false hope.

'Depends which one you're talking about.' Finn simply responded, and Thea just wanted the conversation to end right there. She liked thinking about Violet, she didn't want the warm feeling spreading across her chest to be replaced by a sick one once Bobby was mentioned. It's not like she didn't miss him, god she missed him. It was just that right now, Thea was not in the right state of mind to hear another thing that would tear her apart. She took a moment then realised that no-one was forcing her to listen to Finn, Bobby could pause. Thea needed a break from hearing about him, and even though she had talked about him with Violet, that didn't mean that she was all talked out. She had so much to say, she just didn't know how to say it.

Her legs subconsciously dragged themselves up to her bedroom, which she had now fully moved back into. She tried to make it look more fitting for her, instead of a Thea from two years ago. She hadn't torn the posters down, but she had taken down photos of Bobby. Everyone told her she was strong for 'letting him live on' but Thea only thought that made her hurt more. Looking at him every morning was taking a toll on her, no matter how much she missed him, it was destroying her looking at his smiling face every time she opened a cabinet, or went to the bookshelf. What made it worse was that Thea's room was littered with him, so she had to strip back a lot of the photos and herself, and shove them into a box in her dresser and not look at them until she felt ready.

'Thea?' Sofia knocked on her door softly. Thea knew that Sofia could tell she wasn't in the best state right now, all her actions had morphed into what Thea felt was patronising.

'Yes, Sofia.' Thea said sternly, but didn't move to open the door. 'What do you need? Isn't your boyfriend over?'

'He's not my boyfriend!' Sofia giggled as she spoke, and Thea could feel the sickening blush travel into her room. It changed the rooms aura completely, and Thea wanted to open the window at the suffocating change in tone. 'But he does want to talk to you, Finn I mean, not my boyfriend.' Sofia said this and Thea watched as the door slightly moved forward once Sofia had leaned on it. Thea didn't want to speak to anyone, but she knew that Finn was hosting this big New Years Party, and that she would be invited, and that Violet would be going. God Violet, everything found its way back to her. Thea didn't mind though, it was nice thinking about her, nicer than Thea wanted it to be.