Dead End

CHAPTER 36

4th of January

Thea wanted to throw up. The Walmart lights weren't combating that well, but watching as Violet wrapped her arms around Kai and pulled him into some dumb kiss. She couldn't stand it, any of it. Any of Violet. Maybe it was because she was tucked away behind hangers of pants, letting her eyes travel between the gaps. As much as she wanted to pull her eyes away she couldn't, as much as she hated watching how Violet's arms wandered in a way that they didn't with her, as much as Finn was pulling on her coat, she couldn't. Thea knew fully well that carrying on staring like that will spiral her into a state she didn't want to be in, but she had no control over herself. She just stared and watched as the person she had burnt so many feeling into clawed at a man she didn't trust. This wasn't the Violet she knew. She wanted to stand up, pull the men's pants away and shout at them - pull them apart from each other. But she couldn't, because Finn had just pulled her from between the rack and took her from the only place those thoughts were allowed. The only place those thoughts could fester into something horrible without judgement.

They were still hidden, and Thea knew that Finn had made a effort to remain concealed. The way his face was bent, almost in sympathy that he was trying to hide, and almost in disgust - maybe at Thea's state, or maybe at the fact that Violet and Kai were still kissing; sure, Thea couldn't see it, but she knew it. She knew Kai had gotten far more than she could even hope from Violet.

'They aren't actually in love,' Finn said quietly, letting his shoulders fall and back bend so he could be in a position that was slightly patronising. Thea and Violet didn't even date, they just danced around each other, not admitting anything, but that had made a worse affect on Thea. 'You know that full well.' Finn added, still trying to resolve Thea's red face.

'Sure,' Thea spoke harshly. Not in a loud way, in a way that she was trying to conceal it through whispers, but it corrupted it's way through. 'But Finn, tell me how you would feel if Sofia was standing right there in Violet's position.' She said both their names with a certain distaste, and that sunk in further into the pit of sadness. Saying that, it just rubbed in that Thea didn't even have her sister. She only had Finn, and he was already Sofia's anyway.

'I would understand that it's her job,' Finn said simply, his eyebrows furrowing as he spoke, 'Thea, you know that that's not Violet out there.' Finn spoke, but then corrected himself, 'That's not our Violet,' Finn had made an effort to put a pressure on the our. But, Thea's mind took that in the worst way possible - what was Thea's Violet? The one she tried to repress far too aggressively. Hide from like a child. It made Thea want to go up to Violet and demand some sort of answer to this question, but Thea knew Violet far to well that she probably didn't even have an answer.

'So she's split,' Thea muttered angrily, tugging her hair up into a bun strands bundling together quickly. 'And I can't have any of her.' She snapped then, and Finn's eyes widened.

'Thea you sound insane!' Finn said sharply, all sort of empathy gone. 'She rejected you sure, but you are far better than hanging onto something like that.' Finn sighed after her spoke, and let his body lean onto a sign marketing the pants that Thea had hidden in.

'We've had this conversation before,' Thea said, still slightly angry but mostly frustrated at herself for falling into this mentality over and over again. Finn nodded at that, and wrapped is arms around Thea, hugging her tightly. Thea let herself fall into him for another time, preparing herself for the next time she would have to admit weakness.

'I hate that I'm like that.' Thea said into Finn's coat 'But I really liked her, and she left me. And I have been chucked away or snatched away too many times.' Thea uttered, and took her arms away from Finn.

'Yeah, but you have a chance to get someone back, so lets not fall into thinking that Violet is the only one. You love Bobby, and we can get him back.' Finn was speaking to her with so much determination she was reminded of how much she loved him. How much he was always there, and how much he never got sick of her antics. Thea was sick of herself, or maybe she was just plain sick. Whatever it was, Finn was there. And Bobby, he was out there, not standing in front of Thea rubbing salt into a wound. Maybe Violet knew that she was there, maybe Violet didn't know. But bobby was out there, and as much as she hated it, Bobby was out there holding a piece of her heart that Violet didn't have. A piece that wasn't thrown around like a ball in sport. A piece that was theirs and theirs only. She wanted him back.