Unsaid Words

Pre-Reichenbach

Jim hadn't been home since the previous afternoon, since he'd been busy with his plan and all. So he hadn't seen Seb for what felt like forever, even though it hadn't even been twenty-four hours.

The week Seb had given him had came and went with nothing happening. They hadn't fought since then (or even had a heated conversation), but there'd been so much tension between them that Jim felt he was being slowly compacted.

Jim walked quickly up the stairs toward his flat, hoping that Seb was in. Jim opened the door. Seb was laying on his couch facing away from him, doing something Jim couldn't see on his phone.

"How was your night?" Seb asked.

Jim knew what he was implying, but neither confirmed nor denied it.

"Fine," Jim answered vaguely. "Um, can I borrow your gun?"

"No, I saw an ad today warning about gun safety; you'll shoot yourself in the foot on accident knowing you," Seb refused, not looking up.

"Those are about gun safety around kids," Jim said, his throat dropping into his stomach. If anything, he hadn't expected this part of his plan to go wrong.

"Exactly," Seb joked. "It's in my room in the sock drawer. What do you need it for?"

"I'm facing Sherlock for the last time today, and he'll probably be armed, knowing him," Jim said, walking into their room. "Doesn't hurt to be safe."
He couldn't help but notice that Seb had said "my room" instead of "our room". It bothered Jim, but it would make it easier later.

Jim walked into their room and found Seb's gun in his sock drawer. Jim slid it inside his coat, on the right side. It would be easier to pull out with his left hand that way.

Jim walked back out toward the front door, not wanting to bother to say goodbye.

"Hey Jim," Seb called.

"Yeah?" Jim asked, turning away from the door to face him.

Seb was sitting up now and had turned around to face him.

"When you said 'for the last time', you sounded really morbid," Seb said, looking confused. "Are you going to kill him?"

"I won't force him into anything, but if he feels like killing himself afterwards he can," Jim said.

He hadn't told Seb the full extent of his plan, at least nothing to do with this last meeting. Seb would ask too many questions that Jim wouldn't be able to remember his feigned answers for.

Seb looked confused at Jim's answer.

"Bye," Jim said, refusing to say anymore. He turned around and opened the door.

"Hey Jim."

"Yeah?" Jim asked, not turning back around.

"Don't get yourself killed, okay?"

"Okay."

"But seriously. I'd have to clean your stuff up myself and it'd be annoying."

Seb's words were hurtful on their on, but his joking tone suggested that he seriously didn't want Jim hurt. Jim tried his best to ignore it, but it was difficult knowing that Seb's sad, beautiful blue eyes were on his back.

"Bye Sebastian," Jim said, opening the door.

"Goodbye Jim."

Jim walked out without another word and shut the door behind him.

He sighed, trying to push any feelings of guilt away. This was the only way. It was too late to turn back now.