i found you .. and you found me // Thomas Shelby

39- NASA

"I'd rather be alone tonight, you can say "I love you" through the phone tonight, really don't wanna be in your arms tonight, I'll just use my covers to stay warm tonight," -Ariana Grande-Butera

Ever since the whole incident with Father Hughes, Giorgia had vowed to leave her Mafia side behind. She wanted to be Mrs. Shelby peacefully with no worries and no threats, though she knew that wasn't realistic. 

Tommy was Tommy at the end of the day, and there would always be trouble, but she wanted to change that. Tommy was shocked when he realised how many connections she had from in New York and even though he was the big bad gangster, she was just as wanted as he was. 

He watched her clean the house, his eyes never leaving her small frame, petrified she'd disappear from his sight like before. His nightmares from the war used to keep him up at night, but now it was Gia being taken from him that scared him the most. 

John and Esme had moved out to the countryside into the farmhouse they'd always wanted with the kids, Arthur and Linda had brought a nice house with his ambition to work with cars and live a gun free life whilst Ada was living her life in Boston doing all the legalities of the business, though Giorgia knew full well Ada was still causing so much trouble.

Though Alphone's promise stuck, everyone was still so traumatised. Gia often struggled to sleep at night and there were many days where she would stay in bed and shut the world out. Thomas hadn't seen the behaviour in her before, and though he always had a plan for everything, he struggled to come up with one for his wife. 

As it was nearing Christmas, times got hard for Giorgia. She missed James, she missed her family, and though she was safe, secure, loved and wanted within the Shelby clan, she knew they weren't her family. Yes, she had a child with Tommy which connected them, but all she carried was a diamond on her finger. Isabel was now one, Charlie five, and were the light in Giorgia's lives. Charlie was excelling in school and though she didn't agree with Tommy taking him out on 'business trips' as he called it, she knew it was good for him, and he was able to speak Italian now which warmed Gia's heart. Though she felt a million miles away from her roots, being able to speak her home language with her son was something she cherished. 

Tommy had been out on business more than ever and Giorgia had forgotten the last time he'd put his kids to bed, or even sit down and eat dinner with them. She got lonely, and when she was lonely, she did stupid things. When James was alive before the war, he knew what to do to calm her down and make her feel better. He would sacrifice his work and any other commitments to be with his wife, and though she loved Thomas with her whole broken heart, she missed the comfort of James around her. 

Tommy sensed this, and he knew he wasn't James. He was ten times the man he would ever be, and ever since Gia had told him that in a heated argument, it kept him up at night. He has failed as a son, as a brother, as an uncle, as a father, and as a husband, and the guilt wormed its way through his stomach every day, a feeling he couldn't shift.

The kids had been put to bed and once again Gia had to tell her two children that daddy wasn't coming home, and the worst part was they had gotten so used to it. Isabel used to cry for hours if her father didn't put her to bed, but now she just dealt with it, and it wasn't fair for a one-year-old to go through that, nor Charlie. 

Sipping on her third large glass of red wine on her own on the sofa in front of the fire, Giorgia picked at her skin and became agitated knowing her husband wasn't around and that he wouldn't be for hours. It was nearing midnight and her temper was cut loose when she heard Isabel begin to cry. 

Like mixing fire with petrol, she chucked her glass at the wall and watched the shatters of glass cover the floor. With heavy breaths, she stood and watched the red wine trickle down the wall, like the blood draining from her body.