The Artist / Billie Eilish

Chapter 12

Billie's POV

The sky had turned red by the time I got there.

I couldn't hear anything apart from my own breathing and shoes trudging through the sand. No one was around.

A familiar sting was stuck in my throat as my eyes watered, but I refused to let it win. I just needed to get away.

My phone kept vibrating in my hand, but not once did I even glance at it. It would be Finneas, Claudia, Macy, him.

It probably wouldn't be Rose.

Why would it be?

She tried to be nice to me and I was a dick to her.

My breathing got heavier as I got more and more frustrated with myself, my nose scrunching up when the sting in my throat got worse.

Eventually, I found the little cave. I clambered through the jagged rocks until it opened up into the recognisable pool I was expecting.

I perched on the smooth, round rock in the middle of the small pool and took a breath before burning my head in my hands and letting my thoughts take over.

•

After probably an hour, I was slumped up against the wall of the cave, staring into the reflection of the stars on the little rock pool. Pulling my phone out to check the time, I noticed I had three missed calls from Finn.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. He knew where I was anyway.

I always used to come here when I was a kid. I found it by accident, and then it because my little safe haven.

The amount of times I've come in here to cry about this same boy... is pathetic.

I don't give a shit about him. At all. It isn't like that.

He just gets into my head. He reminds me of things I don't wanna remember. He's so fucking mean and he stresses me out, and then I lash out on everyone else and I hate it.

I groaned as my head fell into my hands, remembering what I said to Rose.

I didn't mean it. Obviously. I hope she knew that.

Before I had time to process what I was going to say to Rose, I heard someone shout near the entrance of the cave.

"OW! Fuck! I never remember that rock."

Laughing softly at the echo of Finn's voice, I waited until he crawled up to the rock pool, smiling when he saw me. He was all red and sweaty when he collapsed against the opposite wall.

"Damn, dude," he huffed, fanning himself. "This is smaller than I remember."

"I don't think it's small. Must just be your fat ass."

Finneas glared at me before reaching out to nudge my leg. "So, you okay? I saw you and Rose get in an argument or whatever."

I rolled my eyes at myself, pulling my beanie down over my eyes in embarrassment, hearing Finn chuckle gently.

"It wasn't her fault."

Finneas hummed, looking out at the stars through the hole in the cave. "I know. And I know you're mad at yourself for it, but it's okay. She's okay."

We made eye contact for a few seconds before I exhaled slowly, puffing my cheeks out. I shook my head and played with my rings, trying to form a sentence.

"I don't even know what's gotten into me, bro," I started, seeing Finneas raise an eyebrow. "I've never... really thought about things this way before?"

A hint of a smile tugged at Finneas' lips as he gestured for me to continue.

"You know what I mean. Ion know what's going on with my feelings, dude. I literally have like 7 guys on my phone all desperate to date me, I probably have all the guys in my 15 million followers to choose from, and I get all fucking blushy when she wears my hoodie. Guys are meant to make me feel like that, man. Girls don't make me feel like that."

I paused, studying the ground as if it would help me figure out what I was trying to say.

"Girls don't make me feel like that. Not really. But this girl... I guess I feel like that."

Finneas smirked and studied my face. "Not that that's a huge shock," he began, laughing at my blush. "But I think you should go for it, Bil. You guys could be so cute together."

Scoffing, I kicked Finn in the leg, resisting the urge to roll my eyes again. "Dude, are you kidding? I swear she's fucking Ethan or some shit. She sees me as her friend. That's all."

Finneas went to object before I cut him off.

"Shit, well, I hope she still even sees me as that."

Finneas watched me for a few seconds before smiling and cocking an eyebrow, crawling out of the cave.

"Come on, then. Let's go back and salvage a 'friendship'."