The Artist / Billie Eilish

Chapter 49

Billie's POV

Friends.

That was, apparently, the only middle ground we could settle on.

Rose wanted to leave the tour, I wanted to fucking marry her, so we decided that friends was the thing we needed to try.

'Halfway happy,' she'd said to me through a teary smile.

It'd been nearly two weeks since the fight in the hallway, since I last talked to Aiden, since I'd last had a conversation with Rose alone. Ethan was everywhere, constantly - whenever it looked like it would be just Rose and I, even for a second, he'd come out of nowhere and whisk her away.

I know he's just trying to help her, but, honestly, the only time my mind isn't roseroserose right now is when it's imagining ways to push that open-mouthed breather douchefuck off a substantially large and convenient cliff.

"Billie? Did you hear me? I was saying we're all going to get Chipotle, if you're up for it?"

My eyes lazily drooped over to where Claudia was hesitantly peeking her head through the door of the greenroom - a soft, concerned smile gracing her lips.

I let me gaze fall back to where I was watching myself fiddle with the abundance of rings dancing around my fingers before I answered her, my voice sounding more like a growl. "Who's we?"

Claudia audibly gulped, and I didn't need to look at her to know the way she awkwardly glanced down the hallway in a silent scream for backup.

I haven't exactly been rainbows and unicorns for everyone surrounding me over the past couple weeks. It didn't matter who you were, if you were in my way whilst I was thinking about hazel eyes or paint-stained hands or laughter that I'm pretty sure could only elsewhere be heard at the gates of heaven, then I had no problem chewing you out for as little as existing.

And, judging by the look on Claudia's face, she knew it was going to be one of those days.

"It'd be good for you to come out, Bil," she whispered softly, mentally preparing herself before crossing the threshold into the room and perching against the armrest of the couch I was unflatteringly slumped into. My aching eyes flickered up towards her as she studied the worn-down carpet, taking a short breath before continuing. "You haven't been out with us in days. I know this is getting to you, and it has every right to, and... and you're not going to like this very much," her voice trailed off before she turned to face me, her emerald eyes piercing through my own, as if trying to wake me up out of my weird zombie state with so much as a look. "But... essentially, you did this."

My mouth dropped open in protest as I readied myself to destroy the woman in front of me with every curse word under the sun, but she hastily cut me off, holding her hand up between us. "I know it wasn't what you wanted to happen, and I know you had no malicious intent, but you did do this, Bil. It hurts, I know it does, but can't you see that Rose-"

I flinched at the nonchalant use of the name that I'd been trying so hard to avoid, but Claudia ignored it.

"- has been going through all of this too, as well as the added aftermath of being cheated on by someone she trusted with everything? You have to see how it's not only you who's going through this, Billie. She is too. And, we're all feeling it. We're all here because of you, we all love you, and we all hate to see you in pain - but the only one who can do anything about it..."

The fire in her eyes dimmed a couple shades softer, and the hand she was using to barrier my unspoken words from herself reached out to rest against my knee. "Is you."