The Artist / Billie Eilish

Chapter 55

Billie's POV

"It's... too soon?"

Awkwardness crawled beneath my skin as I avoided eye contact with the older girl, my hand flying up to uncomfortably scratch the back of my neck.

"U-uh," I stuttered in response, pretending to be way more interested in Dr Phil than I was in actuality. "Maybe a little."

I noticed Lyndsey's eyebrows furrow in my peripheral vision, her strong frame slumping back against the couch slightly.

A sigh escaped my throat, and I couldn't tell if it was out of relief or guilt.

"I mean," she mumbled, her eyes not focusing on anything as she looked ahead, thoughts racing. "I know it's only been a couple of months, but... Everything's been going so perfect, you know? I wanna... I don't know. I have this weird sense of impending doom hanging over me, so I kinda want to do this sooner rather than later to make it more real for myself. For reassurance."

I nodded, my tongue darting out to wet my lips slightly as I put all of my attention into looking anywhere apart from her direction. My heartbeat was in my ears, and I could barely hear her low voice once she started blabbing again.

"Just into my place in Boston," she continued, a spark lighting behind her eyes as a little smile tugged at her lips, obviously imagining it. "We could get a cat. Or a dog? I'm not sure. And... And I could make the music room into an art studio! She'd totally love that. Oh, and, I-"

"Oh-ho-hokay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there, Marilyn Manson."

Lyndsey's mouth hung open momentarily, stunned, and I took the opportunity to let out some of the venom I'd let pile up inside me within the whole 8 minutes I'd suffered though.

"I don't know why you're under the impression that I, a) care about your relationship, or, b) am in any position to offer you advice about said relationship. And, before you say it, no, I don't have to care about this relationship just because Rose is my best friend, and also, yes, I do think nose rings should have been left in 2015, as well whatever the hell else you've got going up in that whack-ass style of yours."

Dropping the sketchbooks from my lap onto the coffee table in front of me, I stood, pausing before wandering towards the door.

"Seriously. You need to do some thinking. I'm almost worried that, if I stay around you for too long, some of your aura might seep through my pores, and I'll start listening to old 5SOS and redownload Tumblr. Fuck, man."

•

"And then what?"

"I... I don't know. It gets a little blurry. Something about 5SOS? And her god awful nose ring. She totally had that one coming."

Claudia groaned, her head falling into her hands, as I noticed Finneas try to muffle a laugh. Macy shook her head - a fond smirk plastered onto her lips, her eyes focusing on her brightly colored, manicured nails.

"Why can't you just play nice, Bil? Just until the end of tour. It's like, what, two weeks?" Claudia mumbled from behind her hands, a slight hint of playfulness floating through her voice.

Rolling my eyes, I distracted myself from the uncontrollable anger creeping through me by picking at the loose threads on the end of my hoodie.

I was being irrational. I got it. It was my fault it ended with Rose, I really hurt her. She's happy now. I should be happy for her.

Blah, blah, blah.

Does anyone actually believe that bullshit? The whole 'if you're happy, I'm happy' scenario?