The Host

The Challenge

I wake up and there's a bunch of bitches attached to me. Boston Rob, Fabio, Phillip and Dreamz are all dog piled on top of my body. I think to myself, damn, I got all the bitches. 

I wiggle out from underneath them, and decide to go for a morning swim. I quickly change, and run down to the water. The sun is out but just barely, so the water feels cool on my skin. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain in my clit. I look down and see a hermit crab dangling from my vagina, snappers and all. I scream, and run to camp in the hopes that someone will help me. I come hobbling in with a hermit crab clamped onto my clit. 

Fabio immediately gets up. "I'll save you babe." He whips his dick out. 

"How the fuck is your penis going to help me?" I screech. 

He then uses his dick as a vacuum cleaner, sucking up the hermit crab. "That's how. You're welcome." 

"Fabio, you saved my life. How will I ever repay you?" I ask. 

He looks me, dead in the eyes. He mutters the phrase, "bing bong."

"What? What does that mean?"

"You'll know soon enough young grasshopper." He pats my shoulder and walks away.   

Later in the day, we show up to our first challenge of the season. Here comes my man, on his boat, looking sexy as ever. I try to not make it too obvious that I'm staring, but I just can't seem to help myself. I think, I want him to motorboat my titties like the motorboat he's riding. 

Jeff hops off of his boat, and strolls up to us. I notice his dick is hard. I'm drooling. Fabio looks at Jeff, and notices his erect penis as well. He also sees me staring at it. He yells to Jeff, "water cold, eh?" 

Jeff ignores Fabio like the classy man he is. I punch Fabio in the spleen. He barely seems to notice because his rage is now pouring off of him like smoke. I turn to face Mr. Probst, and ask, "What's the challenge for today Jeff?"

"Your first challenge is going to be a dance off. Our panel of judges will decide who has more rhythm. You'll pick partners from the hat, and we'll get you started. Wanna know what you're playing for?" We all nod in enthusiasm. "Besides immunity, the winning tribe will get fire in the form of flint." We cheer, and pick names out of the hat. I find myself partnered up with Randy. "Survivors ready? First pair will be Boston Rob and Russell. Go." 

The jellyfish jam begins bumping from the speakers. The men dance, and while he looks like a goon I find myself cheering on the big Rob. The music ends, and they turn to face the judges. My team won the point. 

. . . 

"It is down to the final two contestants. Tiki Tiki leads 5 to Wigwam's 4. If Randy scores, he wins immunity and fire in the form of flint for Tiki Tiki. You're up."

I feel my heart racing in my chest. The time to perform is now. I hear the telltale first notes of Deepthroat playing from the speakers. I've got this, I think. Suddenly, Randy pulls off his Hawaiian dad shirt and board shorts to reveal a whole ass Magic Mike outfit. He begins grinding on my leg, and I freeze from discomfort. He has now whipped his winky out, and begins to plow me into the dirt, always keeping the beat. 

When it's over, the judges give Randy the point. Bsides being molested, I have lost my tribe an immunity challenge. I don't know what's worse. 

Jeff gives me a look, and I sulk back to my beach, Makayla's eyes never leaving my face. 

When we get back to camp I suddenly feel my head getting yanked back by my ponytail. I turn around and it's Makayla, trying to throw hands with me. I say, "Oh, you wanna throw hands bitch?" We squabble. I rip her weave from her head, and she takes a chomp out of my left nipple. She spits my chunks into the ocean. I look at her in complete disbelief and shock. "Go fetch my nipple bitch!" I scream. She stands there, hands on hip, and all I can think about is if Jeff will like the one nip wonder. I see a fish jump out of the water and catch it in it's mouth, swallowing it whole.