The Host

The Reward

I wake up, and the sun is out. It's been nasty the past three days so I get a little too excited. I start jumping on the shelter and I fall on Fabio's sleeping body.

He wakes up and has a whole ass seizure salad. I think he literally shat himself. I start laughing, and I'm pretty sure I've lost my mind. Kewl.

"Babe what the fuck are you doing?" he asks.

"Let's go for a walk!" I say, and pull him up out of bed.

Once he's awake we decide to walk to our special spot. He starts tossing my salad, and I see something out of the corner of my eye. A big, fat, freshly rolled blunt lying on the ground.

"Babe stop!" I screech, and Fabio stops the tossing of the salad. "A blunt!"

Fabio gets down on all fours and starts sniffing the ground like a hound dog. When he gets to the blunt, he picks it up between his teeth and brings it to me like a good boy. I swear if that nigga had a tail . . .

Our eyes widen in anticipation. "Go get an ember from the fire, NOW" I order him.

He's back in 2 minutes. In his hands is the whole ass fire. His skin is peeling off but he looks incredibly happy. "I got it babe!" he says.

I can't help but laugh as I take the fire and put it on the ground. We light the blunt and obviously I get first hit. Fabio takes a measly hit and starts coughing up a storm. I hold the blunt in my hands and stare at it. I forget it's even there for a little bit. Fabio yells, "are you gonna hit it or what?!" I make sure to get my saliva ALL over the blunt.

When we're done, we decide to spend time with our tribemates. We put the fire back and call everyone in for a tribe meeting. Again, Fabio pulls the ukulele out of his ass.

"I got a song for y'all," he says.

"Fabio, dear god" I say.

"Nah I got this." He begins singing Because I Got High, and boy does everyone love it.

"I wish I had that Sprint phone to take some pictures with!" Russell says.

I ignore the ogre. I start laughing because I look at Naonka and she looks like a horse again. I then make a very bad decision. I take all the mangoes and bite into them. "These are mine!" I say, eating every last bit.

Makayla starts pissing herself and Naonka looks ready to fight. "Try me bitch." I say. So she tries me.

She's coming at me and I'm too high to comprehend and before I know it I'm on my back with Naonka on top of me, hitting me and pulling my hair. I begin rabbit kicking her and I send her flying 20 feet. I get up and she lunges at me but before she can get to me, Fabio tackles her to the ground.

"Get off her man!" he says.

I assess my wounds and I notice that I am bleeding on my head. Fabio rushes to me and says, "we have to call medical!" He calls Jeff on the Jeff phone. Jeff arrives in 1 whole minute like Sonic.

"What happened?" Jeff comes in and asks frantically.

"That foul ass horse ATTACKED me!" I say, pointing to Naonka.

Naonka starts screeching about how I started it but Jeff tells her to shut up.

Jeff has to take me with medical so they can examine my head.

. . .

I find out that the only thing wrong with me is a cut on my head. They stitch me up and send me on my way. Jeff, however, has other plans.

"Why don't you let me walk you back to camp?" he offers. I agree and we walk back to camp. Jeff is then pulling me into a secluded area in the woods. Next thing I know, he enters me. His dick is an inchworm compared to Fabio's Alaskan bullworm but I still feel connected to Jeff.