Trust- (s.m)

3

"Valery!" I hear Ava's loud voice as my bedroom door is swung open. I groan and bury myself under the covers, I've only had three hours of sleep.

"Auntie Val!" Leia screeches before her tiny body jumps on to me and I sighed loudly. She ripped the
covers off me and I shielded my eyes from the bright sun.

"Baby can you tell Granny to get Auntie Val's pancakes ready" Ava says to Leia who obliges and runs out of the room.

Ava made her way slowly over to me and sat down next to me. I let out a deep breath and looked away from her but she grabbed my face examining me.

"You look sad today" she says and I sigh tiredly.

"I'm sad everyday, I just couldn't hide it today" I say truthful and she shook her head.

"Val this is not healthy for you I think you should see a councillor or therapist" she says as if I haven't heard for the hundredth time.

"I'm happy you are concerned but I don't need to see one I'm fine" I say and she shook her head.

"Your not fine. You barely eat anything or communicate with any of us. You stay locked up in your room all day crying over that stupid guy" she says and I shut my eyes ignoring her.

"After a few sessions of therapy you should be fine, you need to get over him this is just a phase of the break up" she says again and I sighed.

"It's not that easy" I reply

"Well it won't be if you're moping around like this all day and being upset over something you can't control. You need to pull yourself together and don't let it affect your life" she says and now I was getting frustrated.

"Ava it's easy for you to say that but you don't understand" I say but she was yet persistent.

"I do understand and we're all trying to help you right now. You need to let go"

"No you don't understand. No one will ever understand until you are in my position. It's easy for everyone to tell me to 'get over it' or get a therapist, but it's not that easy! The love of my life I find out after months was trying to kill me, you tell my would you be normal after that? I can't sleep at night because it's haunting me and yet everyone just barges in here acting like they know what I'm going through. If I need your help I would ask you but right now I'm lost and I'm just letting time heal things. So please just leave me alone so I can find away to pull myself together" I snap and she shook her head before leaving the room quietly.

I just need time. A lot of it.

I closed my eyes again to sleep a bit more if I could but as if I'm cue my name was shouted from downstairs. I wanted to scream but I stood up and went to the bathroom washing my face seeing my eyes were red like they were most of the time. I brushed my teeth before heading downstairs.

Smile so everyone knows you're okay. I reminded myself, I knew my family were concerned but them everyday bombarding me with questions really didn't help. Over time I've been able to mask the pain which I'm hoping is enough to convince them.

"Milo!" I cheered picking up the tiny two-month old who was sucking on his tiny balled up fist. I cradled him in my arms before taking a seat at the table.

"Auntie Val I made pancakes for your" Leia says and I smiled at the four year-old.

"Thank you princess" I thanked her as she pushed the plate of weird shaped pancakes drowned in chocolate. I slowly ate my breakfast while holding Milo in my arms.

"I decide that I'm taking Valery out to get our nails done" Ava chirps from the counter and I lifted my head up.

"It's fine I don't feel-"