Verboten/FORBIDDEN

68. Loose ends

"It's hard, too hard for me to catch up." Scion tightly closed his eyes while trying to stop himself from sobbing. This is the first time I saw him cry and I will make sure it will be the last.

"Let's have a new beginning, together." I cupped his cheeks and kissed his lips again before burying his face in my bossom. He goes lower to kiss my tummy.

"I'll do my best for you, baby." Scion sniffs my round belly with a kiss before looking up at me. "Are you ready with me?"

"Of course." I grin and sit on his lap. I thought this chance will never come but God helped me to make it happen. It brightened my world and time is running fast.

"If only I can turn back the time that was lost I will take it." My clothes starts to dampen with Scion's tears and I feel like I'm the one being crushed with how he felt.

"Scion, we still have time. Let's do it right. If only you will listen, maybe it help." I lift his chin and let our eyes connect. "Do you remember what you dreamed of when you were younger? You told me that you will give all of your time to your future family? Can you still remember it?"

"What?" His eyes furrowed and holds me to lay down on the bed with him. We face each other on thesame level.

"You're not going to exchange your time with money. That's what you told me. It's now up to you." I took a deep breath and stare at the ceiling hoping he will change his mind about this emerging business that keeps on stealing his time with us.

"I'll think about it." His tone became strained as he stands up and wears a shirt before leaving the room. I bursted a heavy breath in disappointment.

Well, it's up to him. Can I change his decision? Of course I will and I must do it. I will do my best so my kids will never lose sight of him.

I'm not manipulative like my sister and her daughters but I have to do it. This is for my kids.

'Really? Is it really for your kids or is it for you?'

'Shut up, self. This is for all of us.'

Days passed and he's gone again. It's never that easy. He will never be thesame. God, please help me. Is it a crime for me to be happy? Is happiness forbidden to me?

I no longer know.

It was valentines day and I succeeded to make Scion stay. We went to Palawan, the island he used to manage. It brought me a lot of memories and we had a picnic around the sand. Scion was careful with handling us. He doesn't want the baby to be gone, of course.

"Scion, do you remember where we play at night time?" I broke the silence and so is his cellphone that rings.

*sigh*

At night time, we still sleep together but he seems like he doesn't want to touch me. We went home after two days and nothing has changed.