It's My Job ×NamJin×

#18

Seokjin ~

"You know what?" Namjoon spoke, "I feel like talking about my feelings and then fucking afterwards. That should be a gameshow. I'd call it, 'Fuck Your Feelings'. You down to play tonight?"

I laughed, "That's stupid."

"You didn't answer my question."

I shrugged, "Why not."

"Great!" He said as he cracked his knuckles and sprawled himself out on his bed. "I feel weird."

"Why?" I said, not knowing how to respond. No one ever really tells me how they're feeling. I'm clueless, but I won't let him know that.

"How nice of you to ask, Seokjinnie." He cleared his throat, "Well, you see, the whole running a porn site thing never really bothered me. Whatever, I'm rich, what's so bad about it." I nodded as he looked at me to see if I'd really been listening. "But last night, I called my parents to ask about my siblings. My sister turns seventeen next month and we agreed that at that point, she could go live with me."

I'm not gonna lie, the idea of Namjoon's sister living here would seem awkward. 'Joon, who is that feminine boy that looks like a god and what is he doing in your kitchen?' 'Oh, that's just my employee slash fuck buddy, Seokjin.' Ew.

Regardless, I nodded once again, "I'd text my sister at least once a week to check up on her, and she'd been telling me how excited she was to finally live with me again. We were tight, still are, but my mom is getting in the way."

"How?"

Namjoon sighed, "She said it would be inappropriate for her to live with me considering the job thing." He rubbed his temples with his fingers gently, "She is still allowed to live with me starting next month, my mom isn't a big fan of hers either, or of any of us for that matter, but I'm starting to think that for once, my mom might be right."

As much as I didn't want her to move in, Namjoon seems to like me, I'm sure he wouldn't kick me out. "Look, Joon. She has been gushing to you about living with you, you can't break her heart like this. Besides, it's not like you have ten foot dildos lying around like coasters, she wouldn't really even be exposed to it."

He hesitated, "I mean, yeah, I guess you have a point." He sighed again, "She'll still come live here, but I'm still gonna feel weird about it."

I felt the need to ask, "Am I going to stay?"

"What? Seokjin, of course you are. It's an agreement. As long as you work for me, you get to live here. Even if I hated you, a deal is a deal." I smiled to myself.

"What else is on your mind?" I asked. I wanted to know what he worried about.

"I, I feel really lonely." He said quickly. Namjoon immediately widened his chocolate eyes at what he'd said and pursed his big lips together.

"I'm sorry," although I heard a clear string of words, he did mumble, I wanted to make sure I heard him right, "What did you say?"

He twisted a ring he kept on his pointer finger, I'd never noticed it before. "I'm not repeating it." He turned away from me and faced the window. The curtains were closed, I could tell he was doing it to avoid eye contact.

"Okay," I said awkwardly, "What do you mean?"

He kept his face turned away from me, "I'm, I'm really fucking lonely." He shrunk a little, "I seem like I just fuck around a lot, but, but that's not it." He sighed and rubbed his bicep with his right arm, "I, I have a lot of friends, but even when I'm with them, I still feel lonely, which is why I haven't hung around with them as often. What's the point if I'm still gonna feel lonely during the time I'm with them?" I just blinked back at him as I thought of something note worthy to say to him. He let out a short, annoyed chuckle, "Why did I just tell you that? People don't really understand what I mean." He shook his head, a nervous smile playing on his lips.

"Do I make you feel less lonely?" I asked, his back turned to me made me anxious. Although the side of his face still turned to me every now and then, it didn't make me feel any more confident.

He hesitated, "Yeah," he said barely above a whisper. "Hope that doesn't put pressure on you."

I sat there blankly, and decided to give him something to make him feel better. I got off the bed and walked around to his front. He felt the sun from the window fade away as I walked infront of it, and he looked up. I took a deep breath and hugged him. I hugged him tight, as if I could squeeze him tight enough to make sure all of his pieces stick together. Maybe he's broken, maybe he's not. But everyone has some pieces chipping off. "I'm glad," I said by his ear, and althought it seemed neither of us wanted the hug to end, it needed to eventually. I let go, "I-I mean I'm glad that I make you feel better, not, not that you feel lonely."

He smiled up at me, "It's been a while since I've gotten a hug."

I opened my arms, "Want another one?" He let out some air through his nose to indicate that he found the situation funny, but got up and embraced me nonetheless.

When we pulled apart, there was only a couole inches of space between us. "Thanks, Seokjin." He said as he rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact.

I felt bubbly, I liked this feeling of helping him. Well, as much as I could. It didn't really seem like a lot, but to me, it was.

"Now," I said, averting my gaze to the wooden floor, "What about the fuck part of fuck your feelings?" I gave the floor a mischievous smile.

"Well," he used his index finger and his thumb to lift my chin up and look at him, "I'm very glad you asked."

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Second update since im trying to finish this book to work on my other ones

Idk if I've asked but who is your favorite girl group?
Mine would have to be dreamcatcher hands down love my queens

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