It's My Job ×NamJin×

#33

Seokjin ~

I woke up in some guy's bed. He wasn't ugly at all, I was kind of proud of myself for getting with a guy like this. My head was pounding with one of the worst headaches I'd ever had, and my body felt incredibly weak.

Me stirring woke him up, "Morning, Sugar." He said, planting a kiss on my bare shoulder.

"Good morning," I replied kindly, although as proud as I was, I really didn't want to be here anymore. "What happened last night?"

"We made sweet, sweet, love, my friend." He said, tossing me my clothes as he stood up.

"Thanks," I said as I caught them, and pulled them on as fast as I could.

The guy stretched, "You want me to call you an uber? I'll pay."

I shuddered as the thoughts of last night flooded back to me, "No, it's okay." I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was only eleven am. "I'll walk."

"Alright," this guy, who I'd only realized now that I didn't know the name of, walked me to the door. "Call me," he called after me. I just turned around and gave him a soft smile. A forced one, but a smile nonetheless. I had no intentions of calling him.

I was a mess. As I walked down the streets, I'd caught glimpses of myself in shop windows, I looked nasty. I had blatant sex hair, my clothes were all wrinkled, and I had the smallest bit of red lipgloss smudged around my mouth.

I was pulled from my judgemental thoughts on my own appearance by a feeling of disgust and dread washing over me. I was going to throw up. I ran to the alley a few feet away and tossed everything out as soon as I was out of eyeshot of the public. Tears welled up in my eyes as I heaved up what tasted like tequila and chicken wings. I spent twenty minutes hunched over my designated puking corner in this alley, until my body decided that was enough vomit for now.

I felt disgusting. On the inside and out. It was like I hadn't showered in a week and developed lice because of it, but on the inside. Life really kicked me in the ass and left it's shoe in my asshole lately.

Thank god that the rest of the walk home was short, or I would've stumbled into traffic. I walked up to the door, thankful I didn't forget my keys this time, and made my way inside.

"Morning, Jin." Gahyeon said before she looked up from her book. The look of pity on her face told me everything I needed to know. "Oh, Seokjin, you look bad."

"Oh, I know." I answered as I poured myself a glass of water and dug around before finally finding an advil and chugging it down. I rubbed my temples to try and calm my head.

Gahyeon's voice was quiet and sad, "What happened, Jin?"

That sent the tears rolling out.

I was so tired, I couldn't keep this up. I felt the tears wash over my face quickly, I was crying hard now. She got up and gave me a hug. "Hey, hey, hey." She pulled her sleeve over her palm and wiped my cheek of tears. "Let's calm you down, hmm?" I nodded, "Follow me." She threw her arm around my shoulders as I cried into hers, and guided me into her room, where she shut the door behind her. I was a little confused, but felt comforted already. She dug around in a drawer next to her bed, "Cookie?" She asked as she pulled out a tin full of them. I nodded, and she just gave me the whole thing. "What's going on?"

"I-I'm so tired of this!" I stuttered out through sobs, "Every second, it's mistake after mistake, and I've had enough!" I popped a cookie into my mouth. "You got any water?" I asked her quietly, she handed me a water bottle from the same drawer the cookies came from. "Thanks."

"What do you mean?"

"You wanna know the whole story?" She nodded. "It's lo-long, you sure?" She gave me a second nod. I sighed deeply, trying to catch my breath and make this retelling easier. "I'm gay, right?"

She pooped a cookie in her mouth, "Obviously, yes, go on."

"Parents kicked me out, I was homeless for a while." I drank some water, trying to calm myself. "Namjoon found me in an alley, asked if I needed a place to stay. I was already homeless so what did I have to lose?" I chuckled darkly and dryly, scaring us both a little. "I became a pornstar for his website, I do that now." I clamped my hand over my mouth, "Oh my god, you're not supposed to know about that."

Gahyeon shrugged, "Eh, had a hunch for a while but Joon would never confirm my suspicions."

"You think I'm gross?"

"What? Of course not," she smiled warmly at me, "It's your job. It's not a big deal. Not something I'd do, but, its your life I guess."

"Anyway, Namjoon and I had a lot of sex together just for fun. But then I started liking him, I caught him with a fuck buddy of his. I got upset, later I told him I liked him and he said he couldn't be tied down to one person. I would've been okay after a while but then he drove away Matthew and now I'm super sad and ended up giving my uber a bj and woke up in a different guy's bed." I sighed, "I'm so hungover right now. Every light in this damn house is too bright."

"Oh, Jin." She wrapped her arms around me and laid her cheek on my shoulder, "I wish I could do something about this. But you're strong, Jin." She pulled away slightly and faced me, "You're so strong, you survived being homeless for a while. That's already huge. Stuff will fix itself if there's nothing more you can do about it."

Half of me didn't care about what she was saying, and the other half took it all in. I was torn between being angry and being carefree. All I knew, was that at least for once in my life, I wasn't alone.

"Are you mad at him, too?"

"A little," she answered, "He's being a dick to you, and isn't being a good role model right now. He should know I look up to him, he should be teaching me how to fix my fuck-ups, not the other way around."

"I'm sure he'll fix that. He may be dick, but I like him for a reason." I tightened our hug.

She pulled away after a few seconds. "Cookie?" She asked, offering me another as one was already on it's way into her mouth.

"Don't mind if I do."

×××
Howdy sorry for not updating

Stray kids' comeback???? Iconic, side effects slaps

Happy pride month / festa

N E V E R P R O O F R E A D

K Thanks