It's My Job ×NamJin×

#29

Namjoon ~

I hate to admit it, but I feel weird around Seokjin.

And especially weird around Matthew. Ugh, even just saying his name makes me want to throw up.

As of my knowledge, Jin doesn't act weird around me any more. I try to hide my uncomfortableness as best as I can, but it makes situations awkward. I can't be alone with him for too long or I'll cringe at myself.

I especially hate myself for being jealous of Matthew. I made the decision, it was a good decision. So why am I upset? Well, it's because Matthew doesn't deserve him.

Jin deserves a guy who will do everything for him. A guy who loves him with his while heart, works hard for him, puts Jin before himself, isn't selfish, respects him, wants all of him; not just picking and choosing what they want.

I really fucked up, didn't I?

But that right guy for Jin, that's just not me. I can't be tied down to one person, I, I just can't. I know I'm not the right fit for him, but neither is Matthew. I can just feel it.

"Jin, it's shooting day." I said from my spot on the couch.

"What about Gahyeon?"

"She's out shopping for clothes for her big day back at school."

"Okay, let me go get ready." Jin ran upstairs and was back in a minute, a jacket around his thin frame. A jacket I didn't recognize.

"Where'd you get that?"

"You like it?" He smiled and did a small spin. I hated to admit it, but I kinda did. The faux red leather really suited him. "It's Matt's."

"You look weird in it." I said, and turned around, walking out the door. Leaving him to trail behind as he locked it and climbed into the car.

"Geez, can't even compliment me." He joked while he pulled his seatbelt across his body.

"If anything, I'm doing you a favor," I drove out of the driveway and onto the road, "By letting you know how stupid you look."

He smacked my bicep, "Whatever!"

When we arrived to the studio, it was the same drill once again. Some meathead pounded into Jin, and Jin took it gracefully.

When it was over and he was out of camera shot, Jin's smile faltered. He walked to the showers and I waited outside for him. When he walked out, hair dripping and in some new clothes, he looked disgruntled.

"What?" I questioned him.

"That dumb meathead left bruises on me, and not the good kind. I think that's some of the worst sex I've ever had."

"I bet I could show him up," I blurted out. Once I realized what I'd said, I just turned up the radio and kept my eyes on the road.

"You probably could," he answered, to my surprise, "But you won't get that chance."

"And why is that?" I replied to him, teasingly.

"I have a boyfriend," he answered, staring into his lap, but with a small smile on his face.

"Wait, what?!" I answered a little too quickly. I cleared my throat, "Oh, really? Who?"

"Matt," he smiled again, a smile I missed being the cause of.

"Cool, cool, cool," I tapped the steering wheel, anxious to get out of this car. "Good to know," I was practically speeding, itching to get home and away from this new information. It was one thing for Jin to hang around him all the time, but now they were official. That was a new level of hurt, and one I'd caused myself.